Citrus - So this is what love really is
by Orenji.Red
Summary: This story takes place right after chapter 35. Yuzu learns that she may never see again the one she loves. Will she manage to face this ?
1. Where is the love ?

Hi there : ) This is the first time I post a story. Also I'm not fluent in English so pardon me if there are several mistakes.

This story takes place right after chapter 35, there will be several chapters, the first will be more like a prologue and maybe quite short.

I hope you'll enjoy!

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

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Tomorrow is already the start of the new school year, the summer holidays are over and were full of twists.

 _All good things come to an end_ , Yuzu thought.

Nevertheless, she was really happy to spend this last day of vacation with Mei, even if the brunette seems sadder and absent these last days.

 _I hope things will work out, in any case I'm going to do everything I can to help her getting better_ , Yuzu told herself.

After this long walk, the two sisters came back home, both tired of their day, Mei a little more exhausted than her half-sister and the heart even heavier.

-Mama I'll take a bath before eating! Yuzu shouted as she headed for the bathroom.

She looked at Mei and smiled to her. The purple eyes girl was amazed by the beauty of the blonde girl and the frankness of her smile, Mei shivered, this was the effect Yuzu had on her.

She continued to look in her direction even after the blonde closed the door behind her, then Mei just catch in her hand the ring she's wearing around her neck and looked down sadly.

Yuzu unlike her sister, entered in the bathroom with a large smile on her face. She wanted now to relax in the hot water and let go all of her thoughts.

Yet once in the bath, it's more like all of her thoughts are bringing her back to Mei again.

 _Why can I stop thinking about her…_

 _I have just the feelings that every minute, every second, every moment my thoughts bringing me back to her. I just can get her out of my head, she's in my skin._ Yuzu says to herself.

All of this makes Yuzu happy, but lately she has a bad feeling. Since they returned from the trip this summer, Mei act different and Yuzu feels really sad about it.

 _She barely speaks to me and her eyes are sad again, like they used to be. I thought I had managed to pierce her shell..._

The bell of the doorway brought her out of her thoughts. _Who can ring at home this late_ ? Yuzu said to herself before plunging her head completely under the water and start thinking again about the girl she loves. _I wish I could decode Mei_...

Indeed despite all her efforts to understand the brunette, it was really difficult for Yuzu to understand her half-sister. She always had the impression that she was hiding her feelings and it seemed that in their relationship, every step forward was followed by three steps back.

Yuzu kept thinking about it until shivers shook her whole body and she noticed that the water in her bath had become cold. She had finally fallen asleep in her bath. The blonde got up and grabbed a towel to dry herself. For how long she was asleep, she did not know, also she did not understand why her mother had not called her for diner.

-Sorry mama, I fell asleep in the bath, were you waiting for me all this time to eat?

Earing no answer from her mother or sister, Yuzu walked into the living room and found her mother sitting on the couch.

The table was not set and diner was still not ready which seams really strange to Yuzu. Taking a look at the clock in the living room, she noticed that she was asleep for nearly 40 minutes.

-mom...?

Her mother did not bother to face Yuzu and contented herself by answering with a sad and slightly trembling way.

-I'm not hungry Yuzu, you can warm up the leftovers that are in the fridge.

Yuzu found her mother's behavior really strange.

-Hm yeah ok, and what about Mei?

Her mother takes a moment to answer.

-No, Mei is ... out. She won't eat with us.

At this announcement Yuzu was surprised. It was not expected that her sister would come out tonight, at least she had not told her about it.

 _She hasn't said goodbye to me,_ she sadly thoughts.

It was the second time in a week that her sister was suddenly leaving without any explanation. Yuzu was starting to find that strange.

-When will she go back home?

-She won't come back home tonight. Her grandfather came taking her.

Yuzu remembers the bell when she was in the bathtub.

-But where did she go? I did not know she was going out today, she did not tell me about it.

-I do not know Yuzu. I'm tired, I'm going to bed.

Ume Aihara got up from the couch and headed towards her bedroom without even looking to her daughter.

The blonde did not understand _. Well, I'll see her tomorrow during classes,_ she thoughts. _Too bad, I would have liked us to get prepared together for the beginning of the new school year._

Yuzu warmed up the leftovers and ate before going to sleep in the bed she shares with Mei.

 _Tomorrow I'll try to know why she looks so sad these days. Maybe something occurred between her and her grandfather, she must need support._

Yuzu put on her nightclothes, lay down on the side of the bed where Mei use to sleep and close her eyes in the sheets that smelled like the girl she loves.

She was quite sad about her sister's absence, but since she was too tired, she quickly falls asleep.

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I hope you enjoyed it, once again pardon me for the mistakes I could have made.

Thanks for reading :D


	2. Love hurts

Hi, this is chapter 2, I hope you'll like it.

This chapter is longer than the first.

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

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\- Yuzu onee-chan ... Mei murmured while her cheeks became red and an expression of excitement increased on her face.

-Silence Mei if you do not want us to get caught. Yuzu said, dismissing her sister's shirt that had been unbuttoned. She was now staring at Mei's bra.

-Yuzu ... Mei moans trying to close her white shirt. The brunette's eyes sparkled with an unusual glow.

-I'll make you feel good, Mei, Yuzu said on her sister's ear.

-Yuzu...

Yuzu watched her with a burning flame in her eyes. _She's so beautiful_ , she thought. _I want her so bad._

After removing the shirt of her sister, the blonde takes off Mei's bra and observes her white chest while licking her lips. Mei said nothing but she was even redder than before if it was possible.

-Do not make too much noise, Yuzu ordered, and without waiting she leaned toward her sister's chest to catch her breast in her mouth and licking her nipple hardened with excitement.

 _Beep Beep Beep!_

Yuzu straightened up in her bed while turning off the screaming alarm of her clock that prematurely ended her dream.

"Noooooo" she shouted, burying her head under her pillow with the fresh images of her dream in her head.

 _Oh god, I would love to see Mei like this_ , Yuzu told herself.

She quickly chased those thoughts away and got up from the bed

 _I have to get prepared, today is a brand new year!_ Yuzu stood in front of her mirror, glancing at her sister's office before deciding to dress _. I must be pretty for her._

After spending a long time to decide which ribbon would be better with which scarf, Yuzu get out of the room for breakfast.

Her mother was already in the living room. As she went to say hi, Yuzu noticed her puffy eyes.

-Mom, are you ok? Yuzu asked worried.

-Yes, I'm probably just a little sick, plus I did not sleep very well.

Yuzu, who was naturally emphatic, did not ask her mother any more questions.

She had her breakfast hastily and get out of the apartment for her first day of school.

-I go to school mama, see you tonight!

-Yuzu, I will not go home tonight so don't wait for me.

-Okay, see you tomorrow then. Yuzu said without asking questions even if there was a few she wanted to ask.

After all, Yuzu was really eager to see her best friend Harumin and especially Mei.

 _I hope she will like this knot,_ she thought on the way to school.

-Yuzuchi! Her friend shouted, waving her arms.

-Harumin! Yuzu shouted back, hugging her friend as if they had not seen each over for ages, when in fact it's only been a few days.

-Heyyy, you match the scarves today! Here is a gyaru who is preparing for the start! Do you make yourself beautiful to seduce someone? Her friend was teasing her gently. Aihara Academy is still a girl's school ya know!

Yuzu shivered while earing that name, then she quickly remembers that it was her name too.

-Harumin, don't say such silly things!

In fact, Harumin enjoyed what was happening between Yuzu and Mei, she could tell how much in love the blonde girl seems to be since she meets the student council president. However she was a little offended that Yuzu didn't tell her about their relationship yet.

To punish her, she often amuses herself by teasing the blond like this, waiting the moment when finally her best friend agreed to her about her feelings for Mei Aihara.

The two friends continue to chat happily toward the academy where they headed to their new classroom. The bell announces the beginning of the lessons but Yuzu still does not see any sign of Mei.

The hours passed without any sign of the brunette and Yuzu's mood continued to collapse.

 _Where are you Mei,_ Yuzu sadly thoughts. This morning she only was concerned by her clothes, did Mei would notice the outfit she chooses to please her? But now she just wanted to see her.

Seeing Mei at school was something very special in Yuzu's eyes. First of all she loves to see her sister wearing her school uniform, it was incredibly sexy on a way Yuzu couldn't explain. In fact, watch the brunette with her school shirt, the tie around her neck and her shirt (she pulled off in her dream...) was a pleasure that Yuzu thoughts she would never get tired of.

Plus, Mei is the student council president and for this function she has to wear a distinctive red band on her arm. This gives her an especially exciting authority, which literally turns the blond on.

Despite all that, there was also the excitement of having to hide their relationship here.

Yuzu liked to think that she has a special relationship with the one everyone known, the one feared and adored by many schoolgirls of Aihara academy but she, Yuzu Aihara, was the only one who has the privilege of being able to discover this girl under other aspects more intimates... It makes her feel like she was special.

Yuzu shook her head thinking about that made her blush. She comes back to reality and remembers far too well her sister's absence.

During the lunch break she tried to find the brunette and went to the headmaster's office where her sister used to be. In front of the door Yuzu blushes, that was where her dream had taken place. She sighed smiling and knocked on the door.

-Mei? She asked.

But after waiting a little and knocking again she still got no answer.

 _Where is she?_ Yuzu thinks sadly, lowering her head.

As she heads back to the classroom, she sees Momokino down the hall.

-Momokino-San, she called her. But the student council vice president ignores her and continues to walk without stopping.

Yuzu was more troubled than ever.

Class hours continued to follow each other until the last. Yuzu ended up dropping the idea of looking for Mei today, after all she would see her at home.

However, when classes were going to end, the teacher made an announcement that surprised the entire class and that Yuzu will remember for a long long time.

-As you all know, he said, the Aihara Academy is lucky to have a student council office dedicated to our school, every year the student council participates in the life of our academy and allows many activities for all students. This month you'll have to vote for the new council. Indeed, the teaching staff regretfully learns that the student council president you all know, Mei Aihara, is no longer part of our academy, so she must be replaced by a vote.

 _Mei Aihara, the student council president you all know, is no longer part of our academy..._

At this sentence Harumin quickly turned to Yuzu a worried expression on her face. But what was on Yuzu's face was even stronger, an expression of worry and misunderstanding that was really frightening

The blonde had her mouth and eyes wide open as she was still hearing her teacher's sentence.

 _Mei Aihara, the student council president you all know, is no longer part of our academy..._

While misunderstanding and fear continued to grow in Yuzu's heart, she couldn't stop telling herself that everything was just misunderstanding, _Mei will explain to me, there surely is a logical and rational explanation. It is not possible, it is not possible..._ Yuzu kept trying to pull herself together, it's impossible, impossible, she thoughts.

-I'll let Himeko Momokino tell you more about it.

Yuzu got out of her thoughts and watch Momokino stands up and heads to the board. The curved hair girl took a look to the blond one with a sad look that make Yuzu felt like a bombshell in her heart.

With a swift gesture Yuzu rose from her chair, which squeaked heavily against the ground, the force in her gesture also shifted her table to the side. Soon all eyes turned to her, and all watched the blonde girl standing in the middle of the classroom, both hands on the table and her eyes misted with tears in an expression of panic fear.

It seemed like an eternity for Yuzu who was barely aware of the looks turned towards her.

\- Miss Aihara? The teacher asked.

At that name, Yuzu's blood swirled and heavy tears began to overflow from her eyes. She pushed her desk even further and quickly gets out of the classroom, barely hearing the hubbub and the voices of her classmates wondering what was going on.

The air was burning in Yuzu's lungs as she ran down the hallway of the school.

At high speed she made her way to the exit of the school, put on her shoes and continued running towards her house.

 _I have to go home, I have to go talk with Mei, she'll explain to me what's going on, she'll explain this misunderstanding to me. It's ok, it's ok, it must be an explanation_.

Yuzu's heart seemed ready to explode as she tried to reassure herself, unable to accept the idea that Mei was no longer a student at Aihara Academy.

 _"The student council president you all know, Mei Aihara, is no longer part of our academy."_

Remembering the words of her teacher, Yuzu shook her head _, there is no way it can be true, she thoughts._

 _Why would she leave without told me anything? Why? It just can't be true._

The tears were flowing from her green eyes while the blonde continued to fight against this harsh reality.

Yuzu was thinking back to her mother's expression and of the sad look on her eyes. _Why did she cry?_

The blonde also thoughts about Mei, her sad attitude of last weeks, her strange behavior.

While Yuzu still trying to find explanations for all that, she arrived at her place and once in front of the door she stopped to breathe.

Her head tilted to the floor, both hands on her knees, Yuzu gasped heavily. She could hear her heart drumming loudly in her ears. And the blood rose to her head as she felt drops of sweat bead on her face reddened by the effort.

 _I'm going inside and I'm going to find Mei, I'll calmly ask her to explain the situation to me and everything will be fine._

Slowly Yuzu opened the door and entered in.

-Mei? Where are you?

She only got silence as an answer. Gently Yuzu went to the common room she shared with her sister, continuing to call Mei.

The door wasn't closed, she gently pushed it with her fingertips and opened it slowly.

When the door was fully opened and Yuzu could see inside the room, it was as if her heart had stopped beating in a second, as if the whole world had held its breath and time stopped there in this precise moment.

Then Yuzu entered the room, her eyes wide open and her face clenched in an expression of deep terror.

Nothing. Nothing. All Mei's stuff was gone. Yuzu opened the closet, empty too.

Mei's belongings was gone

All that remained of her was the smell that was still floating in the room, a sign that she was still there today, just a few hours ago, but Yuzu did not think about it.

No, No, No, she said with terror.

Emotions were too strong. In fact, at that moment the blonde girl was nothing more than a broth of indistinguishable emotion.

Yuzu's tears had dried over her eyes, which had certainly not blinked for a while now. She continued to look around her until she saw the little box on the desk. In a hurry she came to the desk and opening the box, Mei's ring was not in it. Yuzu closed the box mechanically and just as mechanically she went to sit on the bed. Her mouth was still open and her face was still filled with terror and pain.

As she sat down on the bed, she noticed a sound of a paper bellow her.

Noticing the source of the noise she pulled out a sheet of paper that contained Mei's scent and writing.

Twilight was already starting to fall while Yuzy had already read Mei's letter for more than twenty times, reading again et again every sentence and every word in order to discover something new, to understand something more, to see something that would have escaped from her .

She keeps the letter firmly in her hands crying dry tears while she has already crying so much.

Through her many re-readings of the letter Yuzu had traversed a multitude of different emotions.

Sometimes enraged against Mei, feeling betrayed and wishing more than anything to destroy everything that reminded her of the girl, sometimes taken with a deep sadness that she never thoughts she could get up.

Once again she reads her sister's letter, always stumbling on the same words.

Yuzu might have read and re-read her sister's letter, the fact that she may never see again Mei and that she was going to get married did not want to enter her mind.

The tears flowed again from the eyes of the blonde who had been lying on the bed, the letter of Mei crumpled in her hand.

She felt so miserable, betrayed… Her heart was destroying her by the inside, she did not know it was possible to be hurt that bad.

How could she not noticed sooner? How could she be so stupid?

So that is it, Mei finally fucked with her feelings again. Letting herself be loved and kissed while she was engaged to a man.

Without even noticing it, exhaustion finally gets her and she sank into sleep.

For the second time today, a strident noise take her out of her sleep and for the second time she woke up wishing to stay in her dream but this time more than the first.

Yuzu opened her eyes at the sound of the doorbell and remembers little by little all the events of the day as she watched her sister's letter on the ground.

She reached for the letter and was about to pick it up while the bell held again, then another much longer.

Yuzu got up from her bed, unwilling to hurry. What could be so important now?

Yuzu opened the door slowly.

-Yuzu! Says the girl in front of her. I tried to call you a billion times!

Yuzu left the door open without answering and went to sit on the couch, staring at her distorted reflection on the unlit TV.

-Yuzu? Harumin asked, worried.

Closing the door behind her and taking off her shoes she approached the blonde and sat on the couch next to her friend.

She could see on Yuzu's face marked by tears that something very bad had happened.

-Yuzu ... What happened? She asked, worried for her friend.

She knew that this had something to do with the student council president, well... with the former student council president... but she did not understand anything about the situation.

Yuzu stood a moment without answering, her empty gaze still staring at the TV, then slowly she turned to Harumin, tears dropping of her eyes again.

-She left...

Yuzu said these few words with so much pain that Harumin felt like a stab in her heart. She could only feel the distress and pain of her friend.

\- She is engaged, she is going to get married Harumin… Yuzu said these words with such difficulties and such a trembling voice.

Again the dagger plunged into the heart of Harumin, even more violently than the first time.

So this is it then. It is for this reason that Matsuri was so out of her mind this summer ... Harumin wanted to scream, she wanted to insult so much this girl who made as much suffer her friend.

-She left... She left me like a crap! Leaving nothing but a fucking letter! A fucking letter Harumin!

Yuzu's face was now transformed between pain and deep hatred.

-Yuzu, I'm ... I'm so sorry. Harumin does not really know what to say. She had the impression that nothing she might say could help her friend and she felt terribly helpless.

-Harumin, she's gone.

At his words, Yuzu burst into tears once more and collapsed into the arms of her friend who was also crying in silence by seeing the pain of her best friend.

…

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Thanks for reading


	3. Love no more

Hi, there is chapter 3, hope you'll like it!

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

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After staying in her friend's arms for several minutes, Yuzu straightened up and dried her tears before speaking:

-Harumin, gets me out of here.

Harumin looked at Yuzu surprised.

-I want to get out, it smells too much like her in here, I can't no longer stays here.

-Okay, you'll spend the night at my house Yuzuchi. I'm here, I'm not going to let you alone.

-I need to clear my head. Yuzu got up from the couch. I want to go out, I need ... I need to drink.

-Yuzu ... Harumin said, she didn't known how to react.

-Please Harumin, I need to.

-Okay, then I'll contact Matsuri to join us.

Yuzu nodded. Harumin would surely need the presence of Matsuri to help Yuzu but also to make sure that things don't get out of hands.

-I'm going to change and catch things for the night, Yuzu said, heading quickly to her room.

But after several minutes she still not comes back, so Harumin called the blonde.

-Yuzu?

Unanswered, she went to the room and found Yuzu at the doorway motionless.

-I can't do it, she said, I can't get in here. She turned to her friend sadly.

-Yuzu... Harumin noticed that the room was empty of Mei's things. You can go into the living room, I take care of it Yuzu.

Then Harumin entered in the room, it smells like her, she thoughts.

Smelling the smell of the brunette here was annoying, if she had been there, she would certainly have a hard time retaining her desire to hit her. Yes, she wanted to hit her and see on her face something else than indifference and coldness.

While grabbing clothes for Yuzu Harumin saw the box containing the rings, she had already seen Yuzu wearing a ring identical to the one she had seen hanging around Mei's neck.

-Damn why did you do that to her, she thoughts.

As she had finished picking her friend's clothes, she finds the letter on the ground, she picked it up and looks at it quickly.

You leave her so you can't hurt her anymore, huh. You filthy hypocrite, yes you can say that you're a coward...

Harumin had never really liked Mei, she had made the effort to get to know her for her friend, because she could see that she was crazy about her. And Harumin had been caught believing in it, she ended up chasing her doubts and finally thoughts that surely Mei also shared Yuzu's feelings.

Now seeing this letter, this crap justifying her actions, she could only say that Mei was trying to justify herself and it was disgusting.

She insulted her once more and walked out of the room, dropping the letter on the floor.

After getting dressed and wearing make-up (more than usual), Yuzu and Harumin left the apartment and headed for the park not far from downtown where Matsuri was already waiting for them.

Harumin waved to the pink haired girl and approached her, followed by Yuzu.

-What about the situation? Matsuri whispered to Harumin, glancing at the blonde who was joining them.

-Worse than I thought, she says.

-I knew this girl was a bitch! Said Matsuri loudly, but Harumin signaled her to calm down as Yuzu arrived.

-Hello Yuzu nee-chan said Matsuri, smiling shyly at her.

Yuzu answered her softly, her head obviously elsewhere.

-I know a nice place said Matsuri, it's not very far from here.

It was now 8 pm and the dark had already fallen on the city. Arriving near the entrance they already could hear music coming out of the place.

-We are lucky, says Matsuri, happy hour has just started!

The three girls then entered in the bar, it was much bigger inside.

The first is for me says Harumin who went to get three cocktails from the bar.

-How do you feel Yuzu nee-chan?

-Not very good to be honest said Yuzu with a sad smile.

-We are here for you, you can count on us.

-Thanks Matsuri.

Yuzu's heart was heavy and sad but not for long as Harumin came back with the drinks. After a few sips, the pain in Yuzu's heart seemed to decrease, alcohol was starting to work.

The conversation revolved around frivolous things such as the new fashion clothing and the new video game shop that had just opened in Shibuya.

But while Matsuri and Harumin agreed on which one of the last two Comcap's games was the best, Yuzu swallowed the rest of her drink and stood up.

-I'll take the order! She says.

The brunette and the girl with pink hair looked at each other without saying anything and when the blonde was gone Harumin broke the silence.

-Do you think it's a good idea to let her drink that much? She asked.

-I do not know if it would hurt her more than not drinking at all, says Matsuri.

-I do not know what to do to help her get better, sadly says Harumin.

-I think that there is nothing more we can do. We just can be there for her...

Yuzu comes back with shooters of all colors and a deck of cards.

-Heyy I brought ammo.

Yuzu grabbed one of the tiny little drinks and emptied it, then she swallowed a second one and when she caught a third one, the hand of Harumin stopped her.

-Leave some for us Yuzuchi...

After a couple of hours, Yuzu and her friends were completely drunk, Yuzu more than the others. She seemed to have completely forgotten the events of the day as she spoked loudly with her friends.

-Then Harumin, said Matsuri with a lustful look, have you done it yet?

-Do what? The brunette asked instantly becoming red.

Ahaha, Harumin is so shy Yuzu! Well Harumin-chan things of love, of course!

-Well, , she stuttered.

The two girls burst into laughter as they look at her friend.

-You laugh Yuzu, but you're a virgin too, Matsuri mocked.

-Haaa touched, said the blonde blushing slightly, yes I'm still pure, you may want to bite me, she said to the girl with pink hair, passing a finger slowly on her cheek.

Matsuri immediately becomes red while the blonde gave her a completely lustful look.

Yuzu immediately burst out laughing after that, followed by the other two girls.

-It's my turn, said Matsuri getting up in the direction of the bar.

It had been a long time since the girls were drinking and Yuzu could feel the heat of alcohol embracing her whole body, her vision was completely troubled but it was not really unpleasant.

After the pink-haired girl came back and the drink she had presented to Yuzu was over, the blonde felt the effects of the alcohol increase a little more.

She could hear the buzz of her friends conversation in her ears.

The bar was not a very bright place, a light of a glowing tint illuminated the large crowded room.

Yuzu looked around her, smiling now stupidly as she struggled to control the flow of her incoherent and inaudible thoughts.

She laughed soon, with a frank laugh that became quickly mad and disturbing.

Harumin and Matsuri immediately stopped talking and turned to Yuzu who was laughing loudly while heavy tears ran down from her eyes.

-I do not know ... I do not know why I'm crying, she says, her face shaking by her uncontrolled laugh.

The two girls were now displaying a worried expression on their faces, feeling that things were taking a turn that was not going to be nice.

-Yuzu, are you alright? Harumin asked, she was very worried.

-I ... I don't know. I don't know any more Harumin, I cry but I don't want to, I don't understand. My tears flow by themselves.

The blonde looked at her hands and did not see very well with her spinning head and her eyes full of tears.

Gradually her laughter decreased and stopped suddenly as a memory appeared in her head.

The pervert thing with alcohol is that it cans make you believe that your problems have gone away but then it reminds you everything in an instant.

Yes, in an instant Yuzu remembered that day, she remembered the words of her teacher, and above all, she remembered that letter.

She stopped crying and then, looked at Matsuri.

-Do you know what happened Matsuri?

Matsuri looked down and answered;

-I know something happened with Mei but I don't know the details.

-Well, I'm gonna tell you Yuzu says.

Matsuri was not sure she wanted Yuzu to tell her after dinking that much. She was afraid that things get out of hand.

-Well my dear half-sister, Aihara Mei, bless this name that came from the kings, Aihara, the supreme family she says with a demented smile on her face, the family of the elite! So, the dear Mei-sama left me like a crap! Yuzu let out a short laugh.

-You see, she did not even consider useful to keep me informed that she was leaving, my teacher knews it before me, her girlfriend! Well pretended girlfriend I must say. Yes, I knew during class that she would not return to the academy.

Matsuri looked really shocked at this information, and she quickly looked at Harumin.

-Yes, Matsuri! In class ! Do you imagine, it's the teacher who taught us, in front of all the others! And me, like a complete fool, I discovered it at the same time that everyone.

Yeah, after all I am no one, why would she told me? I'm just a toy for her, she had fun and now it's over. I'm just a mistake in her perfect-girl career, a task in the Aihara folder.

Yuzu stay silent for a second before continuing

-I'm too hard on her, she left me a note, there is something! I can say that I'm lucky, a note from Mei, not everyone can claim that!

-Yuzu, Harumin says softly, hoping that it would calm the blonde.

-Oy oy Harumin be patient, we approaching the denouement here! So, in her note, the princess did gracefully thanking me for having opened my heart to her. And do you know why she dropped me like I was nothing?

At these words, Matsuri lowered her eyes, starting to feel the tears roll on her cheeks. In fact, Matsuri already thought she knew the reason.

-Because she must prepare her wedding!

At this word the tears of Matsuri turned into sobs.

-Oh Yuzu I'm so sorry ... she says. Matsuri was sorry for what was happening to her friend, she also was sorry for knowing what was happening and that she did not do anything to prevent it.

-For fuck's sake, do you believe it! Yuzu let out another disturbing laugh as she says that.

I wonder why she concealed it from me when she did not hesitate to kiss me. What a bitch... how could I get fooled by such a bitch?

You know Matsu, you were right with her. In fact this is my fault, I am too stupid to think that I could have a chance with a girl like her.

-Yuzu… Harumin says, no Yuzu, you could not know, there is no way it could be your fault!

-We kissed again before she left, she had to make fun of me. Yuzu smiled bitterly, in fact, maybe I was just training for her, why not test her charms on her stupid half-sister?

Yuzu stopped talking. Her eyes were completely reddened with tears and alcohol.

-Yuzu you are not responsible for anything, you didn't do anything to deserve such a thing, what Mei did to you is totally abominable, she would not... but Harumin did not finish her sentence while she sew Yuzu frozen in an indescribable expression while she stared at the girl who had just appeared in the bar.

Quickly the blonde who still seemed shocked got up and go in direction of the black haired girl who has just come into the bar.

-Fuck, Matsuri says while brutally getting up too.

\- Goddammit, Harumin says.

Yuzu resignedly rushed to the brunette, her heart beating fast in her chest.

Seriously I do not believe that, from all places of this fucking planet, it is here that I find you, Yuzu says, almost enraged.

-It seems that you can talk to me now, Yuzu grabbed the brunette by the shoulder, making the girl face her. Do you still have nothing to say? Yuzu yelled at her, then she stopped abruptly.

Her two friends arrived behind the blonde and quickly apologize to the girl.

-My apologies, we mistook you for someone else, Matsuri says to the brunette.

Yuzu says nothing, still in shock. As her friends pulled her out of the bar Yuzu began to cry.

-I thought... I thought it was Mei, she cried, plunging into Matsuri's arms.

Yuzu was in a complete second state, alcohol and emotions of the day had brought her mind to a place where she never seemed to have been.

While Yuzu was leaning against a wall, her head spinning dangerously, the two girls decided that it was time for Yuzu to go bed. Harumin said goodbye to Matsuri and grabbed Yuzu by the waist.

-Come with me Yuzuchi, it's time to go bed.

The whole walk to Harumin's house was strange for Yuzu, she did not say a word and it was like her legs were carrying her all the way. In fact, she didn't known but if she managed to walk it was actually tanks to her friend who holding her by the waist.

Yuzu's head had never drummed so bad and she felt a really strange sensation, as if she no longer had any control over her body and her actions.

Without even knowing it she has arrived at Harumin's place, the brunette helped her lie down on the bed but then without warning, Yuzu grabbed the sleeve of her sweater and slapped her on the bed.

Then, the drunk blonde manages to climb on her.

-Yuzu! Says Harumin completely surprised by this action.

Yuzu did not answer to her friend. She grabbed Harumin's wrists who tried to get free and put them over Harumin's head, holding them tight.

-Yuzu what are you doing? Harumin asked worried.

Once again, the blond did not answer, she had a strange gleam in her eyes. In fact, she didn't know what she was doing as she kissed her friend. It was a completely disjointed kiss, tasting of alcohol.

Harumin was trying to protest, but Yuzu's tongue slipped into her mouth and prevented her from speaking. The cheeks of the brunette became more and more red. She tried desperately to find air between each of Yuzu's assaults on her lips.

Harumin no longer had strength, after helping her friend all the way home, her body was completely exhausted. "Yuzu", she keeps saying, stopped by her friend lips.

-Yuzu stop, she finally managed to say, that's not what you want Yuzu. Her voice was calm and sweet, comforting.

Yuzu, who seemed to have realized what had just happened suddenly dropped her friend's wrists and burst into tears.

-Oh my god, I'm so sorry Harumin. Says the blond, crying.

She was weeping as she sat next to her friend, her hands covering her face.

Harumin who was still a little shocked at what had happened does not say anything about it and took her friend in her arms.

She knew that this was not Yuzu's usual behavior, that was her sadness, her pain and alcohol who speaked through her

-It's ok Yuzu.

Yuzu tooked by a sudden nausea got up suddenly and ran to the toilet to throw up all the alcohol she had drunk. After throwing up several times, Harumin helped her cleaning her face and put the blond to bed.

Before falling asleep, Yuzu saw the worried face of her friend, who was sitting next to her and who gently touched her forehead.

-It's gonna be alright, Yuzu, she said softly as her friend sank into sleep.

This morning, Yuzu woke up with a painful headache. It was already 2pm, she had slept that much...

Harumin was gone at school.

With difficulty Yuzu got up from the bed, one hand on her head.

-Damn it...

She was hardly dealing with alcohol consequences, and it was noisy. On the living room table, her friend had left a plate, a note accompanied the dish "warms up for a few minutes and enjoy Yuzuki, I come-back soon after class!". Yuzu smiled as she put the dish to heat, she was lucky to have a friend like her.

When she began her meal, she remembered the events of the day before and she also remembered the kisses.

-Ohhh Harumin I'm so sorry...

After the meal, Yuzu took a shower which did her the greatest good, then she sat in front of the TV for a few hours, watching silly programs.

While she was in front of the TV, the ringing of her phone began to hold what made accelerate her heartbeat, she grabbed her phone in a hurry and answered without even bothering to look at the number of her correspondent.

-Hello? She says in a hurry.

-Yuzu, where are you?

Yuzu's face darkened as she recognized her mother's voice on the phone.

-I am at Harumin place.

-You did not think it would be better to keep me informed? I worried Yuzu!

Her mother's worry made Yuzu feel a great annoyance.

-Well, I thought that from now on we could all leave without warning. Yuzu's voice was brittle, she was not used to being insolent towards her mother but the situation was not usual.

-Yuzu ... Her mother's voice sounded deeply hurt.

-For real mom, a wedding? And you did not think it would be better to keep me informed? Yuzu says, copying her mother's words.

-Yuzu ... I'm sorry Yuzu. Your sister made me promise not to tell you anything.

-Did you think about how I could feel when I discovered that Mei was gone when nobody told me anything! She shouted on the phone.

-Yuzu, I'm really sorry, I made a promise and everything went so fast you know, I heard it at the last moment too, I did not know how to react...

-It's ok, anyway if Mei did not find it useful to tell me it's certainly not worth it...

-Well Yuzu, I think that she didn't want to hurt you.

-Yeah… I think that anyone would have trouble in such a situation, it's my teacher who announced her absence, you can imagine what I felt when I learned it that way, she's supposed to be my sister, you're my mom, and nobody tells me anything!

-Yuzu, I really do not know what to say to you.

-I tried to adapt myself, to get to know her, to become her sister, so I do not understand why I am now put aside like that. I thought we had to form a family! But it's impossible, I would never be Aihara! Yuzu was screaming as tears began to flow down her eyes again.

Yet she was trying to calm herself, thinking that her mother might have found it strange that Mei's departure would hurt her that much.

-Yuzu, I think that Mei's family situation is much more complex than we could imagine, she is part of a prestigious family that seems to take the tradition very seriously, I just think that these are things that we cannot understand and that we can only try to respect.

After a few seconds of silence, yuzu ends up repenting reluctantly.

-You're right ... It was hard for her to said that, but she knew that her mother could not understand her feelings, all she could do was bury it all deep inside her.

The conversation with her mother continued for a few minutes more and Yuzu ended up by telling her mother not to wait for her, she was going to spend a few more days at her friend's house.

This evening Yuzu took a long time to fall asleep, thinking about to much things. Harumin was already sleeping for a while as the blonde continued to think about Mei and her brain was inexorably trying to find a way to fix things.

Yuzu was thinking about the same things over and over, "maybe Mei can change her mind, maybe it's not too late to fix things ..." I have to do something before it's too late. I don't want to regret it for the rest of my life, she says to herself and to that thought she falls asleep.

That night, her dreams were terrible, in one of them she surprised Mei kissing Amemiya, the brunette seemed to really enjoy it and she saw her put her hands all over his chest while he was beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt. Yuzu approached to separate them but Mei kept pushing her violently... In another dream, the Mei was at the hospital after an accident, and Yuzu was at her side, crying in front of her sister in a coma...

Yuzu awoke with big drops of sweat on her forehead. It was still dark, the light of the moon faintly lingering in the room. Yuzu glanced at her friend, who was sleeping peacefully and synchronizing with her calm breath, she eventually going back to sleep.

The next morning, Yuzu decided to get up with Harumin, she preferred going to class instead of being alone here procrastinating.

It feels really odd to Yuzu been in front of the school gate, which reminds her of the girl she loves, starting with the name inscribed on the portal, her own name "Aihara", the name which made her suffer so much.

Since they were awake, and all the way to school, Harumin didn't stop talking, she thoughts it way help yuzu to think about something else. In fact, Yuzu was still thinking about Mei, but her friend's incessant chatter was doing her good.

However, as she was about to go inside the class, preceded by Harumin, Yuzu just saw her. She saw the one that made her heart soar. To this vision all of her blood ran fast into her veins and Yuzu felt a huge shiver traveling all around her body. And she felt just like her heart was going to pop out of her chest.

This time it was her. Yuzu completely froze at this vision, her body paralyzed as she saw the brunette from the hallway window.

Mei was on the ground floor, she was with by her grandfather and carried several documents in her hands.

The girl was not dressed in her uniform yet she was wearing distinguished and elegant clothes.

-Mei! Let Yuzu escape in a whisper.

Harumin quickly turns to her friend when she heard that name and then quickly looks in the direction Yuzu was staring at.

For fuck's sake. Says the girl to herself when she saw her. Harumin barely had time to turn back to Yuzu as she was already running towards the stairs leading to the ground floor.

I have to hurry up ... I have to hurry ... Yuzu was running as fast as she could, nearly missing out the stairs.

Yuzu run as fast as possible she was leaving the academy when she saw the girl again, she was going on a black car that starts immediately.

-No ! Yuzu blurted, breathless and terribly disappointed.

Harumin came up behind her, breathless too, Yuzu? She asked.

-I missed her Harumin!

Yuzu was angry at herself for not being able to catch up Mei.

-I'm sorry Harumin, you're gonna be alone in class again.

Harumin looked at Yuzu wondering.

-I must go to Mei's grandfather's house, I have to talk to her.

-Yuzu, Harumin says sadly, thinking it's not a good idea.

I must do it Harumin. I need to hear all this from her mouth, I need to know if she is able to confront me. I least, I think I deserve it.

-Yes, I understand ... But at least, do it after school.

Harumin was right and Yuzu knew it, so she listened to her friend's advice and spent the day as she had planned. It seemed incredibly long and she kept thinking of Mei all the way through.

Once school was done, she hardly bothered to say goodbye to Harumin and rushed out of the academy towards Mei's grandfather's mansion.

After running for what seemed like an eternity, Yuzu stopped at the end of the street where the Aihara's mansion stood.

She took several minutes to catch her breath and with a tissue she wiped her face reddened by the effort.

Mentally she was concentrating on remaining calm and repeating the words she wanted to say to Mei in her head, like a mantra.

 _I have to tell her that she's making the biggest mistake of her life, I have to tell her that she does not have to screw up her life for her family name…_

 _I have to tell her how much in love with her I am… How much she's already missing me…_

Yuzu walked slowly to the fence of the house, holding her breath.

 _Ok it's time_ , she told herself as she was about to press the bell button.

-What are you doing here? A strong voice sounded behind her, it was Mei's grandfather.

-Hello, I uh ... I would like to see Mei.

-She does not want to see you. Says the man with a hard tone.

-Well, I really need to talk to her...

The man's gaze became even harder, he was almost scary.

-I do not know what kind of relationship you think you have with my granddaughter but this little game has to stop. Mei will do the duty of her family and I will not let anyone interpose even you.

-But! Yuzu said.

-No, cut him, behave like the sister that you should be and support her! Mei has a lot to do with wedding preparations, you cannot understand how important this wedding is for our family and for the lineage of Aihara. Mei's marriage is much more important than any choice you may have to face in your life. Mei is not a simple student, she is the heiress of a prestigious family and must behave as it is customary to do, so even if all this is beyond your understanding, I would ask you to do the effort

not to interfere.

Moreover Mei herself expressly asked me not to let you come near if I found you, then it is out of the question that you can talk to her.

Yuzu's eyes fused with tears at the words of her step-grandfather, whose every new word seemed to destroy a little more the heart of the blonde.

-Mei chose to follow this path and she is happy like that. It would be time to understand for you girl, that whatever could have happened between you two, all this is only a student error and now you have to let my granddaughter do what she must do for her family.

While Yuzu thought she could hardly hear worse than that, the man continued.

-Moreover, Mei's fiancé totally corresponds to her personality and both seem to get along perfectly. Now go away or I'll have to call my guard to get you out.

The man crossed the gate. The blonde was crying now, silently, tears streaming down the floor as her head looked down at her feet. There was nothing she could do to change things.

She looked up at the manor and did not notice that the curtain of one of the windows had just moved before she left.

On the other side of the same window, Mei, who had witnessed the whole scene, without hearing it, yet understanding the situation, was sobbing.

The brunette had dropped to the floor, she covered her mouth with one hand to try to contain her sobs as she now cried hot and heavy tears.

She carried on her violet eyes, an expression of deep distress and pain. -I'm so sorry Yuzu, she thoughts to herself crying again, while her heart was torn apart.

* * *

That's it for this chapter. I really hope you liked it.

Feel free to review ;)

Thanks for reading!


	4. Don't talk to me about love

Hi, this is chapter 4, I hope you'll like it.

A year has passed and Yuzu has gone through a lot of!

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

A year has passed since Mei was gone.

Yuzu was now in third and final year at the Aihara Academy and as surprising as it might have seemed, she now had very good results, always at the top of the list.

In fact, since she realized that she couldn't do anything to change the situation with Mei, she had thrown herself into studies. The young blonde did not really know why she did that, but it made her feel like she had something of Mei in her, as strange as it seemed.

It was not easy to give up the idea that she might one day see the person she loved again, and even today, a year after that, she was still dreaming about it at night, she continued to be surprised to think about her, she continued to feel her smell suddenly at sometimes and also continued to cry in some moments when she was alone.

Still, she had made a reason for it, the conversation with Mei's grandfather finally made her realize that she couldn't change anything, it was way too big for her.

Then Yuzu had gone through an unnamed sorrow, a pain so deep that it sometimes seemed to her that she could die of it but also an anger that exceeded all reason.

For several weeks, the atmosphere at home was chaotic, Yuzu who was a polite girl towards her mother and her step-father had for several months, big problems of behavior, going up to disappear from home for several days without telling anyone or by being insolent and disobedient.

Her parents, however, had been very patient, understanding that the girl had to go through a difficult period.

But now things had settled at home. Yet, Yuzu continued to go out regularly and her parents were unaware of her attraction for drenched nights and her questionable sexual behavior.

Also tonight, she had planned to go out with her friends, Harumin and Matsuri who was now in first year at the academy.

The classes had just finished while the two third years students, rushed to the exit, waiting for the pink haired girl.

-Well, you took some time to go out! Yuzu says.

-Sorry Yuzu nee-chan, I had a little surprise test. At these words Matsuri made a grimace.

Before meeting at the usual bar, both girls went home to change.

-Tonight I'm not sleeping here, mom, Yuzu said as she stepped through the door.

It did not please her mother that Yuzu spends so much time outdoors, but as her school results were excellent and she seemed to be getting better now, she couldn't stop her, besides, it's Friday.

Once again, this night Yuzu drank a lot, she tended to force a little on the drink but tonight was party night and the girls had a lot of fun.

Generally they spent their evenings babbling and talking about sex. Yuzu, who some time ago didn't know anything about love, had already had several sexual intercourse since last year.

Besides, she didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal about that, sex is good and fun, she thought.

Yet Yuzu always took great care to dissociate sex and love and she never - and she also sworn not to-, combined feelings and sexual relations.

To her, sex was a way to have a good time with someone, while love was a source of so much suffering.

As the conversation got hotter and hotter, Yuzu ran a hand over Matsuri's thigh, who sat next to her and smiled at her with a lecherous air.

The rest of the evening continued to unfold as good, other friends joined them and girls continued to have fun together.

Tonight Yuzu was sleeping at Matsuri's. The girl lived in a small student studio not far from the academy. The two girls went there laughing loudly.

They had to do quietly in the establishment, it was not allowed to return after 22h and the time had already passed since, well long time ago.

The two girls arrived chuckling in Matsuri's room knowing very well what was going to happen.

It was not the first time Matsuri and Yuzu had sex, in fact it had already happened many times. The two young girls, however, had made a point of honor that it does not impinge on their friendship and that, if one of them ended up meeting someone and fell in love, they would stop.

Matsuri pushed Yuzu into the bed and smiled at her as she took off her clothes.

-You seemed very excited tonight, said the pink haired girl.

-Hmm maybe, who knows, Yuzu smiled as Matsuri began to lick the breast of the blonde she had just undress.

-Is there a particular reason for this?

-Well, it's been a long time since nobody cares about me, and it's true that you know how to do it ... Yuzu teased the girl.

-Hmm but that's because you're so docile, said Matsuri as she passed her finger on the blonde's hips, caressing her soft and shuddering skin, soon she slipped her hand under her underwear and began to gently caress her sex.

Matsuri knows how to give pleasure to Yuzu, she knows that if she continued to touch her like that the blonde would eventually go to her climax.

She had learned to recognize her moans and she knows that, when she was panting in such an erotic way, it meant she was coming to her limit.

That night the two girls spent a long time enjoying each other's care.

In these moments Yuzu felt good, it was just pleasure, a sexual fun that made her forget the gloom of life.

The next day the two girls woke up well after 12, tired of fucking all night.

It was Yuzu who woke Matsuri, the youngest had literally taken the whole blanket.

-Eh wake up Matsuri!

-Nooooo let me sleep...

-No no no, wake up, it's Saturday! I want to go out!

-Hann Yuzu nee-chan...

Yuzu grabs her pillow and throws it at Matsuri's face.

-It's ok, it's ok I get up...

After finally getting Matsuri to get up, the girls got dressed and went out. The day's program was to find Harumin at the big mall and go shopping.

-I'm thirsty, says Matsuri. Wait for me here I'm going to get some drink reel quick.

Matsuri entered the store and headed for the candy aisle, she did not come for that but it was true that she loved sweets.

After picking up some candy bag she went to the drinks aisle.

Matsuri failed to drop the candy bag on the floor when she saw her. Besides, she doesn't know how she had done to keep it in her hands.

She was there, in front of her with her black shiny hair and her perfect posture.

For a moment, the pink-haired girl just thinking about jumping on her and tearing her long black hair out.

Why was she prevented herself to do that? Maybe because Yuzu was waiting outside and it was out of question for her to see Mei. She had enough trouble helping her getting her head above water when Mei had left her in pieces after she left.

As for Mei, she had not seen Matsuri yet, she headed for Matsuri and finally met her gaze as they were now face to face.

-Well well, what have we here? Dropped Matsuri to the brunette.

-Matsuri. Mei just says.

-I see that ma'am hasn't left Japan.

-It's still miss for me. Says Mei who didn't get the irony, but she soon regretted this by seeing Matsuri's devastating look. And I just came back to Japan, what's it matter to you, anyway?

-You're right, in fact I don't give a fuck. See you never, Matsuri wickedly said before leaving.

But as she turned away from the brunette, holding back a desire to smash her stupid face, Mei stopped her.

-…How is she?

Matsuri turned on her face. She was seriously asking her this question? She seriously dared to do that? Some nerve...

-I think this is none of your fucking business.

Mei looked hurt for a moment before answering.

-She's my sister...

To these words of the brunette Matsuri let out a frank laugh.

-Really, are you serious? You throw her away like a crap and now you just play the little sister who worries? Well, learn that yuzu is much better now and I personally take care myself to comfort her. Anyway she likes it judging by the way she squirms when I touch her down there. By saying that, Matsuri stared at Mei's crotch to let her know what she was talking about.

Saying that, Matsuri smiled at Mei. If she told her about this, it was obviously to hurt her and also to let Mei know that nothing about Yuzu belonged to her anymore.

The pink haired girl continued.

-In any case, I'm going to give you a piece of advice, do not even notice to think about her, you've lost this right when you decided to get married and leave her. Saying that, I'm leaving Mei bitch-san…

Mei looked more than hurt now, her eyes misted with tears, she couldn't help herself not being hurt by thinking of someone touching yuzu and making her feels pleasure. It was so selfish and she knew it, but she couldn't help it.

-You're all right Mei? Asked Udagawa who had just come back from the aisle where he was, he had noticed the bright eyes of Mei which was quite rare for the girl to have. In fact, it was just that she hides it pretty well when she cried.

-I'm fine, I just had a dust in my eye, she lied with her usual cold air.

The lie seemed to suit Udagawa.

As for Matsuri she found Yuzu who was still waiting outside.

-It took time!

\- Sorry, I just met an undesirable girl.

-Ehhh she did not bother you I hope?

-Naa don't worry, it's rather her who had a bad time, Matsuri glanced at her. But let's go, I don't want to fall on her again.

Finally the two girls found Harumin and spent the day shopping together.

-It is late girls, I must go home before worrying too much my mother. Yuzu then greeted her two other friends, thanking Matsuri for her ...hospitality ... and left them.

-Say Harumin, said Matsuri once the blonde was gone. I met Mei in the city center. Masturi said that in a worried tone.

-Wha ... what ?! Harumin clearly looked worried.

-Yeah… I don't know how I managed not to tear her down.

-I didn't think she would still be in Japan!

-Apparently she has just returned.

-Seriously?! Harumin seemed more and more worried.

Matsuri nodded. Followed by a long, restless silence. After a few seconds to think, Matsuri spoke.

-Tell me Harumin, Yuzu didn't say that her father would return soon?

Harumin looked at Matsuri even more worried.

-She did.

-Could it be for the same reason you think? Mei, she almost spit while pronouncing her name, let me know she was not married yet.

The two girls were silent.

-It does not smell good, finally said Harumin.

-Really not good.

Yuzu finally arrived at home, she was particularly tired of her night. Tonight she will not go to bed late and tomorrow she will spend her day doing some homework and then reading manga.

When entering home she noticed her father's shoes.

In fact, since Mei's was gone, Yuzu having trouble being in the presence of her step-father, of course she didn't show it.

She like him a lot, that was not the question, but it was hard for her to know that he was a direct link to her. And there were also his eyes, even if his look had nothing to do with Mei's, the brunette had the color of her father's eyes, and the air of resemblance as tiny as it is, was painful for Yuzu.

-There you are! He said with a smile.

The girl say hello to her step-father, she was happy to see him after all this time.

-How long are you going to stay here?

-I would be in Japan for almost two months, he says, we will be able to be in family more often!

At these words, of course, Yuzu's heart got tight, there will always be someone missing at this table now.

After talking with her parents for a while, Yuzu went to take a bath to relax her muscles after today's long walk.

How could it be, that after one year she keeps thinking so much about her? How could it make her feel so empty after all that time?

In fact, even if Yuzu had, sort of … Makes a reason for it (or rather, tried to make a reason for it), she kept wondering what Mei was doing at the moment, or where she was, how she was going. She wondered if the brunette thought of her, without really believing it.

And sometimes she looked at the moon through her window and found it comforting to tell herself that anyway, somewhere that same star was watching over Mei and that, perhaps, at that moment the brunette was watching the moon too.

The next day was, as Yuzu had planned, quiet as a Sunday morning. In fact the whole week went quietly and without any addiction.

The next weekend Yuzu devoted her to revisions for next week's exams which are going very well for her.

To celebrate her exam success (Yuzu was at the top of the list, it was almost natural for her since last year) she planned to go out, it was Friday night after all and she deserved a reward for her success.

Yuzu had met a girl visiting Tokyo several months ago, with whom she had a good time, "intimate good time" in fact. It was not the first time Yuzu had slept with girls she just met. Well this girl was back at Tokyo for the night and then the blonde had planned to spend the night with her.

Yuzu had warned her parents that she wouldn't be home that night and that she would not dine with them.

She was eaten with Asuna in a small restaurant that made delicious sobas! And then went to have a drink together and join other friends of Asuna.

When she left, Yuzu noticed that she had forgotten her wallet, she had just enough money in her pocket for the meal.

-I'm so sorry, I have to go back at my place. She says to Asuna.

-No worries, my friends haven't arrived at the bar anyway.

Asuna was not very tall but was four years older than Yuzu.

She was a pretty ordinary brunette in fact. When Yuzu thought about it, except for Matsuri (who obviously did not naturally have pink hair) she only had sexual relationship with black haired girls, but she just put this on the account of chance.

All the way to Yuzu's apartment, the two girls did not stop to glare at each other and even stopped several times to kiss each other on the way, surprising a lot of people!

Arriving in front of Yuzu's door, the two girls kissed each other again.

\- You can enter with me I do not have for a long time. Says Yuzu, smiling.

Yuzu opened the door of the apartment, letting her friend in, with her hand still in hers (no matter if her parents saw her, she doesn't care about their opinion about her sexuality) and was surprised to find others shoes at the entrance.

But in fact she does not have time to question herself any longer before realizing it.

She heard her before seeing her.

How could she have forgotten that voice, how could she forgot it?

Slowly, very slowly, which seemed like hours, she looked up.

A dagger hit her in the heart when she saw her. A horrible sensation ran through her body as her breath just stopped.

It seemed like an eternity when she saw her, when she saw the brunette turn to her, slow real slow… while their eyes met for the first time since such a long time.

And their eyes remained staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, everything else seemed to have just disappeared as if there were only their eyes and nothingness.

Yuzu couldn't say what Mei's gaze actually means. In fact, at that moment her mind was completely empty while a livid expression was clearly showed on her face.

In fact, Mei was in the exact same situation, and in her eyes we could clearly read surprise and pain.

After time resumed a semblance of normal course, Mei's eyes settled on the clasped hands of the two girls.

Yuzu automatically released Asuna's hand as she watched Mei's eyes look at them.

-Yuchan? Asuna asked.

-Let's go ... finally I have nothing to do here, she says.

Yuzu immediately left, without daring to look at Mei again, fearing of getting lost in her beautiful eyes.

She slammed the door behind her and leaned against it.

Asuna continued to look questioningly, as the blonde burst into tears.

She took full face what she had just seen and could not help but cry.

Oh god, she had seen her, she was there, at her house, here, where they had lived together, where they were still something. She is there...

Yuzu was crying, her whole body was shaking with sobs, she couldn't hear the words of Asuna who didn't really understand anything.

-Go away, Yuzu said curtly.

-What? Why?

-Please, go away, Yuzu was more aggressive this time and Asuna went away without questioning her anymore.

Yuzu couldn't calm down, she couldn't stop the flood of tears that shook her all being.

She couldn't stay here, not in front of that door. Where she is...

She got out of the building quickly and took out her phone to call her friend.

-Harumin, can I sleep at your place tonight?

Harumin nodded without asking too many questions, at the sound of her friend's trembling voice, she knew it had something to do with Mei.

All the way to Harumin's apartment, Yuzu forced herself as she could, not to think of what she had just seen.

Her gaze on her had only lasted a few seconds, but yet that moment had been suspended in space and then she could clearly analyze every detail of the brunette.

Her hair had grown but she still had the same haircut, still as silky and shiny. She was dressed elegantly as always, nothing in her had been altered by time, her skin was still beautiful and without imperfections.

The only thing Yuzu was not sure about seeing or dreaming was the engagement ring she wore on her finger. This ring, however, was not the one that they had once shared.

Arrive at Harumin's, Yuzu took a moment before explaining to her friend what had just happened.

-I saw her there, in front of me and I could not say anything, I couldn't do anything.

-I'm so sorry that you have to suffer that.

Yuzu got up from a good chair where she was sitting at her friend's house.

-I'm so angry about my parents! I can't believe they waited for me to go tonight to have dinner with Mei. I feel so betrayed!

-I understand your anger but you know, in my opinion they surely did that, precisely not to risk to hurt you.

-Yes you're right but still...

Yuzu was now pacing, seeing Mei was bringing back demons from past.

-She was even more beautiful than the last time I saw her... She let it go, her own words lightning her heart.

-Oh yuzu no ... If you want I can disfigure her? If it's easier? Harumin ventured to joke but Yuzu didn't notice, she was too preoccupied.

-Harumin, I don't want to see her again, I'm afraid to find her on my way home.

-Don't worry Yuzu, I don't think she'll be here when you go back home, plus you can spend the whole weekend here if you want?

-It's kind of you Harumin, but with what happened tonight I should go back tomorrow to have a conversation with my parents. Knowing them, they will want to discuss it.

The evening between the two girls wasn't as bad as Harumin could have thought. In fact, if Yuzu didn't look so bad, it was because she had not yet fully realized what had happened.

But when the light was off and she was now staring at the white ceiling of her friend's room, she was fully hit by all of these.

What was she doing there, she wondered, then she answered her question herself, she had certainly come to greet her father, it seemed obvious.

Yuzu turned in the bed over and over, she couldn't get her face out of her mind. Seeing her had really raised a lot of buried things.

 _She's still so beautiful_ , she thought.

But the more she realized what had happened, the more she felt bad again, remembering that nothing would ever be the same again. Damn, she was so tired of crying, yet that's what her eyes still doing in spite of her, while she fell asleep.

The next day yuzu spent the whole day at Harumin's playing video games. Being with her friend allowed her to clear her head and especially not to think about her.

Harumin was really a great friend, always there for Yuzu no matter what, always ready to support her, always ready to help.

She hugged her tightly as she was going home to her parents in the late afternoon.

-I'm here Yuzuchi, I'm here if you need, any time!

-Thank you Harumin. Yuzu smiles back to her friend's tender smile.

All the way back was disturbed by pirates thoughts about Mei.

Yuzu was actually strangled in a horrible duality. She was both, wanting to never see the brunette again because it caused her a lot of pain and sorrow but deep down, and she also wanted to be able to look at her again because it was really a sublime vision.

Yuzu could try to hide it and try to escape her feelings deep inside her, it turns out that in fact she still loves Mei and she never, even for a moment, stopped to love her.

Before crossing the door of the apartment she took a deep breath and closed her eyes by reflex as she was now entering. She felt relief and a small pinch to the heart when she only saw the shoes of her parents inside.

She walked into the living room, knowing that a talk would take place and she was, "more or less" prepared for it.

She greeted her parents who had the kindness not to immediately question her about her behavior the day before.

-How are you Yuzu? Her mother asked.

-Well, I'm ok thank you, Yuzu did not want to show her pain to her parents, they wouldn't understand anyway, how could they understand what she actually feels?

-What if you were going to relax a little before we ate? Advised her step-father, it would be nice to have a family talk at dinner tonight.

-Yes, sure, Yuzu meekly replied.

In fact, Yuzu had not managed to relax once she sat down at the table, she had spent too much time encouraging herself to show nothing to her parents, it must have been easy for Mei she thought with a touch of animosity.

As she sat down at the table, she took a look at the place where Mei used to sit, thinking that yesterday she was standing there.

Her step-father started the conversation.

-Yuzu, we are sorry for yesterday. We hadn't kept you informed that your sister, at that word yuzu's heart hurts, was going to dine with us.

-Yes, actually we didn't want to say it to you like that, we preferred to talk about it together first.

 _Spit it out_ , Yuzu thought.

-In fact, if I came back to Japan, it's not for work.

What her step-father was saying intrigued Yuzu a lot, she was wondering what he was talking about, yet everything in her mind told her that she didn't want to know at all.

-That's also the reason why Mei came home for dinner last night, continued her mother.

-Yes, and we think it would be a good thing for the whole family that you are also present that day.

Oh god, what are they doing to me? Yuzu thought. Her thoughts jostled more and more, she felt the thing coming even if she firmly pushed the idea far from her mind.

-Mei gave it to us yesterday, her mother says, handing Yuzu a card.

Yuzu took a long time to look at that card from distance, her eyes were now full of anxiety.

She did not want to take this card, she did not want to know why her father had returned, nor to know why Mei was here last night and mostly she did not want to know what this fucking card contained.

Yuzu had a moment of hindsight, she wanted to get up, she wanted to leave the room, leave this apartment, change galaxy, but her mother approached even more her hand holding the card and Yuzu finally extended her hand reluctantly towards it.

She grabbed it with her fingertips, softly, as if this bomb could explode at any moment.

She took it under her eyes, forgetting the worried and interrogating looks of her parents.

The card was white, the patterns printed on the paper were sober, light orange.

At its sight, Yuzu knew very well what was the bomb she was holding in her fingers, but she delayed the explosion before reading the painful inscription.

 _"Udagawa and Mei are pleased to invite you as a guest of honor at their ... wedding."_

Yuzu dropped the wedding announcement as she got up from her chair feeling that tears would soon be appearing.

Her parents tried to talk to her, but she didn't answer as she shut herself up in her room.

She was aware that her attitude should seem strange but, even if she had convinced herself that she must pretend in front of them, she expected everything except that.

Or perhaps, deep inside her, she was expecting it, but she had locked that reality so far inside her, that she had censored it from her mind.

Mei's wedding announcement… it was as if she had been asked to take in her hands her own heart torn off.

 _In a month..._ Yuzu thought.

She pressed both her hands against her mouth so the sound of her sobs was as muffled as possible.

All the pain of this last year was now returning to her face, she remembered painfully Mei's departure, the discovery of her upcoming wedding, the pain that she had to cross to find a semblance of normal life. Now everything came back to her face.

-Yuzu? Her mother knocked at her door.

Yuzu dried her tears from the back of her sleeve quickly before going to open the door, she should make sure to calm down in front of her parents, they would eventually find that strange and she didn't want them to learn her love for her step-sister, she also didn't want to hurt them.

-Yuzu, she said sadly, caressing her daughter's hair, are you all right?

-Yes, I'm ... I'm sorry, I was surprised by the wedding announcement, I did not expect it.

-Are you still mad at her? Her mother asked.

What could she answer? I'm enraged? Completely ravaged by hatred? Of course she still feels resentment for her, even though the anger was more distorted than it was at first.

-A little, Yuzu lied.

-We discussed it with Mei yesterday and with your father too. We invited Mei at dinner tomorrow, and we beg you to be present.

Yuzu wide opened her eyes to this announcement.

 _No no no no no, they couldn't do that to me, no! For fuck's sake, how could Mei accept that!?_

-Mom, I… I really don't want to see her. Yuzu was trying to hide her anguish, as she felt her hands become more and more sweaty and her heart beating so fast.

-I'm sorry Yuzu but this time your father and I do not give you the choice.

-But…

Ume stopped Yuzu.

-You are both sisters, whether you like it or not.

 _Whether you like it or not..._

-We are a family, as your mother, I don't want to leave things as they are, all of that has lasted long enough.

-Mom, seriously I don't want to see her ever ag...

Her mother stopped her once more, but with a much harsher tone now.

-That's what's gonna happen Yuzu.

Yuzu slowly lowered her head. Then, she just answered.

-…Okay…

But it broke her heart.

* * *

How will Yuzu be able to face Mei ?!

That is it for this chapter, feel free to review ;)

Thanks for reading!


	5. Is this just about love?

Hi there, this is chapter 5.

I just wanted to warn you guys, that in this story Mei and Yuzu don't really have the same personality anymore. The things they went through made them change. So I hope you'll like it anyway ;)

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

The next day was horrible for Yuzu, she went to school exhausted from the night she had spent crying and not sleeping and she had followed the lessons of the day with little interest, in fact it was rather that she was terribly preoccupied by tonight dinner.

Matsuri reacted very badly to Yuzu's announcement.

-Seriously?! It doesn't make any sense!

-My parents do not leave me the choice.

-Still, you can come to my place, Matsuri said hastily.

-I would like so much, but my parents have been very clear on this, they leave me absolutely no choice.

Yuzu's heart had hurt her all day and her stomach was even worse, she had been nauseated all day and couldn't swallow anything.

Her friends were very worried about her.

-I'm so scared to see her again, Yuzu told them with so much worry in the eyes.

All the way back to home, yuzu had cold sweat and her heart was racing way too much. She was rarely feeling so anxious about something.

She went through the door of the apartment and barely greeted her parents before going to shower and then lock herself in her room.

The blonde lay face down on the bed with her head in her pillow and forced herself to try to calm her heart. It was beating at a crazy pace since she had gone home. Stressed to the idea that from one moment to the next, she would go through that door and there was nothing to prevent that.

Finally, the dreaded moment came, she heard the door open and close, and mostly she heard her voice greet her parents.

Yuzu's blood burned up and a huge shudder shake her whole body.

She didn't want to go, she didn't want to see her... She just wanted to disappear.

-Yuzu, may you come here please, her mother called.

 _No no no_ , thought the blonde. _Anything but that_...

But while her mother called her for the second time, the blonde got up from her bed breathing once again.

She didn't want that dinner, she didn't want to see Mei. Still, she had bothered to choose a nice outfit, and tried to look pretty. After all, she would only have to show total indifference to Mei's presence.

 _I moved on to something else, right_? She tried to convince herself one last time before opening the door.

 _She's dead to me_ , she told herself again.

 _I'll just ignore her, talk when I'm asked to do it and make it understand that for me, it's absolutely nothing._

Obviously all that was totally wrong, but Yuzu needed to believe it, she needed it to be able to confront her, even if she didn't know how she was going to react to her contact, as her feelings towards her were shared, between love, sadness and hatred.

Finally she catch the door handle and open it.

She slowly walked into the living room, she was clearly going backwards.

Then she finally saw her.

 _Screw you Mei, why do you have to be so stunning?_

Yuzu tried to look as indifferent as possible when the brunette turned to her. For a moment it seemed to Yuzu to have noticed surprise in the brunette's gaze. Neither of them exchanged a good evening. It was their mother who opened the conversation first.

-It's so great to have the whole family together after all this time. She was smiling.

How could she think that, while an explosive tension burned between the two girls. In fact, if Yuzu had dreaded that moment, she was now basically angry about Mei's presence. Looking at the brunette she could notice that Mei was wearing an engagement ring. It violently turned Yuzu's stomach.

Fortunately the meal arrived, while their parents decided to sit the girls face to face, they hadn't exchanged a word yet.

In fact Mei was the only one to have opened her mouth for now, Yuzu hiding in a deep silence.

Mei spoke naturally with her parents, as if nothing had ever happened, as if a whole year wasn't passed.

 _How can you talk to them as if nothing happened,_ Yuzu thought angrily.

Her mother, who was trying to stir up a conversation between the girls, confronted Yuzu with Mei.

-Well, since this last year Yuzu has excellent academic results, she is at the top of the list for each exam! She said.

At this announcement, Mei looked at Yuzu quite surprised.

-Isn't it Yuzu? Confirmed her mother.

Yuzu slowly raised her head.

-Yes, it is, she just said.

-She has made very big progress, pursued it mother, she will be able to integrate a very good college.

Mei was still watching Yuzu, who was avoiding her look, she didn't want to look at her at all.

-Mom, I'm sure my school results don't interest Mei, she certainly has more ... important concerns. Yuzu coldly said, surprising everyone.

After the meal, Yuzu felt a little relieved, telling herself that the torture was long enough, but it was not what her parents thought.

-Listen you two, we know that the situation is a little… tense between you, says Sho.

 _A little tense…_ Yuzu repeated, chuckling inside.

The father continued.

-You are sisters, and I know that it's not easy for you but it would be necessary that everyone in this family try to make an effort. So tonight, your mother and I are going out and you both stay here and try to settle things.

-Whaaaat?! Said Yuzu.

This time she hasn't managed to show indifference.

-We do this for the good of the family, said her mother, so try to explain what you have to explain. Everyone must make an effort for the family.

Yuzu was downright nervous now, how could her parents ask her to make efforts! She isn't the one who left as a thief, leaving everyone! But nothing that the blonde could have done, could make their parents change their minds.

Once the two adults left the apartment, Yuzu finished washing the dishes without speaking or looking at Mei.

In fact, throughout the meal she had ignored her presence, she had made sure not to look at her and didn't speak to her. Yet feeling her presence, feeling her smell, was something incredibly painful for Yuzu. It was like putting under her nose the drug for which she had so much trouble getting rid of. When she had finished, still ignoring Mei, she was about to return to her room without a glance for the brunette.

But Mei made her heart stop.

-Yuzu...

God, hearing her name from Mei's mouth was both terribly good and terribly painful. Yuzu didn't answer and headed to her room but then, she felt a pressure grip her wrist. She shivered painfully at this contact, it was Mei's hand holding her back.

Yuzu turned around slowly, looked at Mei's hand on her forearm and her eyes sagging painfully on the ring she was wearing on her finger. Then her eyes finally met Mei's. Her cerulean, wonderful eyes…

-What do you want? She said while getting free from Mei's grip.

-I think, we should try to calm things between us, for our parents.

At this announcement Yuzu laughed. She could look Mei in her eyes now, feeling the rage boiling inside her.

-Yeah, that's right, let us act like nothing happened and behave like perfect sisters, Yuzu coolly quipped.

Mei lowered her head, visibly hurt by the words of the blonde.

-Seriously, what did you think about?! Yuzu said, louder than she would have wanted. You thought you could come back in my life like that and maybe I would welcome you lovingly and forget everything you did?!

-I do this for our parents. Mei coldly answered.

-Well, do it alone! Yuzu was shouting now. Do you really think I want to see you after what you did!

Mei didn't answer that.

-I don't need you anymore Mei, I don't want you in my life!

Mei retains Yuzu again while the blonde tries to leave. Whit this contact, Yuzu was in rage now. Violently she pushed back her sister who comes crashing against the wall.

-What do you want Mei?! Don't you have done enough already?

Mei seemed to express a lot of sadness from her sister's reaction but Yuzu doesn't care.

-Please Yuzu, for our parents...

The more Mei was talking and the more Yuzu felt the rage boiling inside her.

-How could you talk to me about family now, you're nothing to me Mei! You'll never be anything to me! You are not my sister! Your fucking family has nothing to do with mine, I don't want that stupid name of yours! No one asked my opinion, I would never be a part of Aihara family!

Mei's eyes shone with a sad glow and it made Yuzu completely crazy to see that in her eyes, how could she dare to show sadness!

-You are so selfish to come like this in my life and think that I could accept it without flinching. If you think I'm going to kneel before you as before, you stick your finger in your eye!

Yuzu was mad, she hasn't felt so angry with anyone since that day...

-I'm sorry Yuzu, for all the trouble I've done to you. Mei whispered, as her eyes seemed to fog with tears.

Yuzu smiled mournfully now.

-Stop thinking you are the center of the world Mei, I moved on for a long time now.

-Yes I understood that you had met other ... people since. I saw you hold that girl's hand.

 _She's seriously questioning me about it?_ Yuzu thought...

-What can you have to do with my dating?

Mei, who was still against the wall, finally put her eyes on Yuzu's, until now she had only looked away. Her look was full of worry and pain but there was also a bit of provocation. Though, seeing pain in Mei's eyes deeply irritate the blonde. How could she dare to show pain after all the harm she had done to her.

-What means... this girl for you? Mei asked, her voice shaking.

Yuzu was no longer herself, anger had taken full control of her mind. She pressed her forehead to Mei's and stared at her eyes with a lot of rage in her look.

-A good fuck, she said, smiling meanly.

She saw it clearly, the pain in Mei's eyes. Then without knowing what she was doing, without thinking at all, Yuzu grabbed the lips of her sister and slipped her tongue in her mouth.

Mei tensed against the wall and moaned by surprise as she wide opened her eyes. Yuzu wanted to trample on her, trample on her feelings as Mei had smashed her's. Then she pushed her tongue deeply into Mei's mouth, who tried to get out of the grip of the blonde. Once Yuzu had read enough panic in Mei's eyes, she broke her lips with a huge sadistic smile on her face.

-Does he kiss as well as me? Asked the blonde while Mei cried gently, now covering her mouth as tears flowed from her eyes that still fixed those of the brunette.

Mei did not answer.

-You know that it was for him that I worked to buy our rings? What kind of fucked up irony is that?

Mei was still no answering as the tears continued to flow gently from her eyes.

\- Tell me Mei, did you already know this summer, that you were going to marry him? Did you come out of the room that morning to kiss him lovingly while I thought we were a couple?

-I didn't ... I didn't know, Mei answered in a sob.

-Ehh what a pity, you could have shared the same room. Yuzu shouted.

-Yuzu, I didn't ... I didn't want to hurt you like that.

-That's what you did! Yuzu yelled, striking violently against the wall next to Mei's face.

-That's what you did when you decided to leave me without even telling me! Did you just think for a moment what I could have felt when I discovered that you had left me and that you were going to marry?!

Yuzu was screaming, she was still able to hold back the tears for now.

-I didn't know what else to do, says Mei, lowering her eyes.

-No, no Mei not that sad look with me, it doesn't work anymore. You're just a dirty selfish person, I understand that. But don't worry, it's mostly against me that I'm angry at, I was stupid to believe that you shared the feelings I had for you.

-I did… Mei whispers.

-Shut up! I don't want to hear that from you!

-I did… Mei repeated, looking up at Yuzu.

-Shut up! Yuzu shouted even louder, tears came now, she could not hold them anymore.

Mei grabbed Yuzu's sleeves gently.

-I am truly sorry Yuzu.

-Don't touch me, Yuzu withdrew her hands quickly, I don't want your apologies.

But Mei grabbed her sister's arms again, holding her even stronger.

-I didn't want to hurt you.

Yuzu was crying with hot tears now, her sadness gradually taking over her anger.

-It destroyed me, Mei. It destroyed me your absence, I thought I was dying a thousand times. She grabbed Mei by the shoulders of her shirt as she approached her.

-A part of me died when you left me. Yuzu said at Mei's ear, she wanted her words to hurt her.

It worked, hearing those words, Mei groaned in pain. She could feel the blonde's tears running down her neck as Yuzu put her head on her shoulder.

It was so painful for Yuzu to feel Mei against her while she was so far away. She smelled her scent, the sweet, fruity smell of her skin, she had missed so much.

The two girls stayed for a moment like that holding tight on each other. Soon, yuzu looked up and their eyes crossed again. A strange gleam crossed Yuzu's gaze as their lips drew closer in a shared kiss.

It was desperate, that kiss. Full of repressed feelings.

Moans slide from their throats while the two girls continued to kiss. Their lips touched as if they were afraid to have to leave again. If a kiss could speak, that one would have had so much to say.

A lot of emotions crossed Yuzu, despair, desire, pain... She missed her lips so much, so why it was so painful to feel them against her, so soft and yet so painful.

Hearing noises in the hallway, Yuzu painfully left Mei's lips in a goodbye, still very close to her sister's face she spoke to her in a cold tone.

-Don't come back here anymore.

Yuzu's parents had just entered to the apartment when the blonde collapsed on the bed in tears. She was going to spend the night crying again.

* * *

The next day at school, Yuzu told every detail of the evening to her friends.

-Whaaa! She kissed you? Harumin asked with so much surprise

-I'll kill that bitch, Matsuri just said.

-Well, it's actually me who kissed her. Yuzu shamefully says. The first time was mostly to humiliate her and then after I don't know… It came from itself.

-Fuuuck Yuzu, grinded Harumin.

Matsuri crossed her arms without saying anything.

-I can't stop to think about it, said the blonde. It hurts me so much but it was a little good too. Damn what did I done… she finished blowing.

-Yuzu… What about the wedding?! Harumin said.

-I don't know. Yuzu looked down. I absolutely don't want to go but my parents, well my parents will not really give me the choice.

-Can't you tell them the truth and not go?! Matsuri quickly said. For fuck's sake Yuzu! Did you forget all the harm she did to you! All those nights crying! Every time we had to pick you up! Matsuri was really upset.

The pink haired girl was out of her hinges. She was so angry at Yuzu to be fooled so easily but she especially was mad at Mei to dare to come back in Yuzu's life like that after the storm she unleashed.

Yuzu seemed hurt by Matsuri's reaction, but that was to be expected. Matsuri reacted very badly to Mei's departure. She was so mad at her that we must thought she was the one who had been left. The truth is that Matsuri's feelings towards Yuzu were confused for a long time, and when she thought she felt love for the blonde, she was forced to admit that Yuzu was in love with Mei.

Now, a year after that, Matsuri had taken enough step back to know that even though she cared a lot about Yuzu, it wasn't love and anyway, she had understood for a long time that Mei was still the only one in Yuzu's heart. This only truth was painfully unacceptable to Matsuri who refused to let Yuzu once again sink into a story that would make her suffer.

Yuzu bowed her head before answering.

-I know Matsuri… I don't know why I did that. I guess ... I still have feelings to clear up.

-Just be careful, said Harumin, hoping that Matsuri wasn't going to scream again.

Though, that day, Matsuri kept thinking about what Yuzu had told her and she was so mad at Mei. How could she land like that again in Yuzu's life, and shake everything up? The pink-haired girl decided it was time to pay her a visit and make things clear.

At the end of class, Matsuri went to Mei's home and posted a little further away from the fence to wait for her. She didn't know at all if the brunette was at home, but she figured it might not be the case and preferred to wait anyway.

In fact, Matsuri waited much less than she would have thought. Indeed, just forty minutes after arriving, she saw Mei at the end of the street. She was alone which was good for Matsuri.

Mei was quite surprised when she saw Matsuri here, she paused for a moment before walking on as if nothing had happened.

-How do you know where I live? She coldly asked, as she came up to her.

-Yuzu mentioned it a long time ago. I noted the address, thinking that one day it would be useful for me. I was right obviously.

-What are you doing here? Mei said coldly.

-No no, it's not to you to ask questions. Replied Matsuri, who didn't disassemble herself in front of the brunette's cold tone.

-I do not think I have to justify myself to you on any subject.

-I believe the opposite. Matsuri's voice clearly showed her irritation.

Mei thought she had understood the reason for Matsuri's presence here, she must have learned about what happened yesterday.

-What the fuck are you doing?! Matsuri said loudly.

-I don't know what you referring to.

Mei knew exactly what she was talking about but she thought that she had nothing to tell her.

-Don't you have enough fun with your boyfriend?! Matsuri was shouting now.

Matsuri's words began to hurt Mei, but she continued to hide it.

-I thought I told you to stay away from her?

-What I do are none of your business Matsuri. Mei had the same cold and inexpressive tone as usual. But Matsuri didn't answer that. Instead she pushed the brunette against the wall behind her.

-You know, if it's just for sex, I can give you a hand. She was looking at Mei with disgust. Of course she didn't really think what she was saying. All she wanted was to knock the brunette off her pedestal.

-You're completely wide of the mark. Mai said, trying to repel Matsuri.

-What kind of sick person you are?! Why are you doing this to her? Don't you mind taking advantage from her feelings to kiss her?

-Well Masturi, I find you misplaced to tell me about my actions towards Yuzu, I think you should look at yourself in a mirror before trying to moralize me.

-Are you serious?! Matsuri wondered how she was doing not to smash her stupid face.

-I think you took advantage of Yuzu's pain after I left to put her in your bed.

The sound of Matsuri's hand on Mei's cheek seemed to stop all the other sounds, the slap had been strong, powerful, heavy. Matsuri felt it on the palm of her burning hand and Mei's painful cheek had turned red in an instant.

Mei cast a devastating look at Matsuri but didn't return the slap as she rested her hand on the hot wound.

-Screw you! Don't compare me to you. I'm not the kind of bitch who benefits from the weaknesses of others as you do! You will learn that it was Yuzu who came to me one night when she was still in trouble because of YOU. So the only one who pushed Yuzu into my arms is you!

Matsuri pushed Mei even harder against the wall, Matsuri had incredibly grown up, she was now the same size as Mei. Which surprised the brunette when her hatred eyes were fixed in hers.

Mei wasn't afraid of Matsuri, but she was so angry at her, knowing that she had done that with Yuzu ... In fact Mei was also angry with herself. She couldn't only blame Matsuri, it is true that if all of this happen it was because she left...

-You know, Yuzu was so bad after you left. I think selfish and cold as you are, you can't realize how much she suffer. I was so scared, you know. I was so scared that she might kill herself.

Mei looked really shocked when she heard that from Matsuri's mouth.

-Yeah, I was scared, it's natural when we care about someone, right? She didn't eat anything anymore, she started to drink too much, started meeting girls completely fucked up and one day it happened. She just came at my place, crying and suffering and we ended up spending the night together. But I didn't force her to do it.

-You took advantage of her weakness. Say Mei with hatred in her voice.

Matsuri refrained from hitting her again, but her hand was still burning, so she just angrily stared at Mei.

-If thinking that can help you sleep better at night. But you're wrong, try to show some empathy, Yuzu may have needed to feel that she still existed without you, maybe she needed to feel alive, to actually feel something… You look down at everyone but in fact, you're just a kid. All this is beyond you. You spent too much time trying to repress all the emotions that came to you and now you don't even recognize one.

-That's wrong, Mei defended.

-You've changed Mei, you are much more pitiful now. At least before, I had some respect for you...

-Go fuck yourself Matsuri!

Matsuri smiled, getting Mei out of her hinges was a real pleasure to her.

-I don't need to do it myself you know... Yuzu does it sooo well. Matsuri wanted to push her further into her entrenchments.

This time, Mei's hand stood up, but Matsuri grabbed her before she hit her face and stopped her, she pressed the brunette's wrist so hard in her hand that Mei could barely move her fingers.

-I don't want you to touch her anymore. Mei threatened her.

-Why should I obey you?

-What are your feelings for her? Mei asked, looking down, feeling tears begin to appear.

-What are your feelings for her? Masturi repeated, echoing Mei's words.

-I ... I do not know...

-Well, you better clear all that up before breaking her heart again.

-I don't want to hurt her. Mei was crying now, feeling incredibly humiliated to behave like that, so weak in front of Matsuri.

-So don't.

-Don't touch her ever again. Mei aggressively said to Matsuri, staring into her eyes with her menacing and yet teary eyes.

-Don't hurt her ever again. Or I'll bring you down myself. Masturi finished saying, finally licking the wrist of the brunette.

Mei massaged her aching wrist with Matsuri's strong grip as the pink-haired girl walked away.

She didn't want to show them to Mei, her tears.

She gets it. She didn't need more to see it.

 _It's love._

 _..._

* * *

I sometimes have trouble expressing my thoughts in English so I hope to be understandable anyway.

When I look at statistics of visits to this story, there are really a lot of nationalities. It's nice to be able to be read by so many people through one language (and maybe a little, thanks to translators ;) ).

I feel in a talky mood right now, maybe because Citrus chapter 37 has not fed me enough!

See you in chapter 6 I hope.

Thanks for reading!


	6. Love is a strange feeling

Hi there, this is chapter 6.

I'm going to make things moving between Yuzu and Mei because as you know, wedding is approaching! Mei is a little different in here, would she have emotions?

I hope you'll like it!

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

Matsuri's visit had left a bitter taste in Mei's mouth. However she was right, Mei couldn't continue to ignore what she feels for the blonde.

Mei was trapped in a painful duality. She was terribly angry to herself for all the harm she had done to Yuzu, even if she thought she had no choice but to leave her. And at the same time she really wanted to see her again, to feel her presence again.

Matsuri wasn't completely wrong, it was difficult for Mei to assume her own feelings, as she had learned to repress them deep down.

Yet since she had seen Yuzu, it's as if all the emotions she had buried for so long had come out, even more painful and stronger.

So she hated herself for coming back to Yuzu's life, shattering her wish to disappear and never see her again.

One year ... One year she had stayed away from her, far from everything she could bring her, far from that source of happiness and well-being that she was. But now as her marriage seemed to be a reality she couldn't ignore, a fatality that was getting closer and closer, seeing Yuzu again made her feel like a mouthful of oxygen while everything in her seemed to drown.

She thought back to Masturi's words about her feelings. How could she clear this up when she couldn't manage her own destiny herself?

On Yuzu's side, the rest of the week seemed to run smoothly, even though the blonde was more disturb than ever before, she kept thinking back to Mei's lips, it was stronger than her. In fact, the girl wasn't out of the woods.

Indeed, that evening when she had gone home and had just come out of the shower, her mother told her that tonight Mei would come to dinner at home with Udagawa, her fiancé.

Yuzu becomes livid in a split second and thought her heart just stopped, why did her parents keep playing dirty tricks like that to her?

But the blonde didn't really have time to protest because the front door opened almost at the same time.

Her heart stopped waiting for the door to fully open, she didn't think she was able to dine as if nothing was in the presence of Mei and ... well, him.

But Mei was the only one to enter the apartment, which somewhat relieved Yuzu, though she was still not used to seeing the raven haired girl.

While their parents were in another room, Yuzu who was completely pissed off, approached Mei.

-I told you not to set a foot here, Yuzu hissed softly so that these parents would not hear her.

-It's my home too, Mei told coldly.

-Not anymore!

But yuzu couldn't say anything more since her parents had returned to the living room and the dinner was about to be served.

Of course the whole meal was full of tension except that unlike the last time, Yuzu didn't look away from her sister, in fact, she gave her plenty of hateful looks.

But Yuzu's suplice was just beginning when her mother asked some questions about Mei's fiancé.

Mei answered naturally. She had always managed to wear her emotionless mask on her face, it irritated Yuzu terribly.

-Besides, he begs me to apologize for not being able to be present.

-It's nothing, it'll be for a next time, said her mother.

After dinner, yuzu directly went to her room without greeting anyone, but she had been wrong to think that she could have peace because as she had just closed the door, her mother came in dragging Mei behind her.

-Listen the two of you, she said calmly. I can see that things are tense between you. But you are both from the same family and it is my role as a mother to try to make things better between you.

Her mother continued, turning to Mei.

-Mei, do you think you could spend this weekend at home? It would be a great pleasure to your father and I if we could spend this weekend as a family.

Mei looked surprised for a moment and then resumed her calm and distanced expression.

-Yes, of course, replied the brunette calmly.

-Well then you can sleep here like in the good old days, Ume smiled as she closed the door leaving the two girls alone.

-Are you shiting me?! Yuzu bellowed.

-Lower your voice! Mei said.

-Seriously Mei, didn't you heard when I asked you not to set foot here again! Yuzu said exasperated.

-I do this for mom, she would find strange that I refuse don't you think?

-Well, I don't care if she finds it strange! You could have found an excuse! Plus, your husband isn't going to feel alone without you?

-We don't live together, Mei said, lowering her head. And it's not my husband, yet.

Yuzu sighed with irony.

-I don't care, you could have thought of my feelings before agreeing to stay. But hey, I think that you don't know how to do that!

For a moment the two girls stayed on their own, Yuzu had some homework to do, so she tried to ignore Mei's presence as much as she could. But it was really, really difficult. Her thoughts keep bringing her to the raven haired girl.

Sure, it was difficult for Yuzu to understand what she was really feeling. Mei's presence was kind of nice, to see her, to feel her, to hear her ... She had dreamed about it for so long... Yet it hurt her so much.

Maybe because she knew that everything was different now? That all of this wasn't real and that her feelings could never succeed.

But she felt the eyes of the brunette on her, she looked surprised and that made Yuzu smile on the inside, but she showed nothing to her sister.

-So, it seems that you have good school results? Mei ventured to ask.

-It surprises you? You don't have a monopoly on this, you know? Yuzu was brittle but deep down she appreciated that Mei was interested in her.

-It's good that you are finally interested in studying. Mei tells her.

Yuzu didn't bother to answer that.

-What about you then, you left school but I imagine that you didn't stop the studies?

-I've been studying abroad and I just came back for ... She stopped and then continued, well, you know why...

-Yeah... Are you going to leave again?

-No I'm going to integrate a university here in Japan.

Strangely, knowing she was going to stay here pleased Yuzu. The blonde didn't really realize it, but she was currently chatting with ... Mei.

It was strange, it was as if, as if none of it had happened, as if they had just left the night before and were now talking naturally.

-You have very good results but are you at least, following the rules now? Mei asked.

-You're kidding, it would make you too happy! Yuzu joked. And it shocked her when she realized it.

Then she noticed Mei smile and her heart literally capsized.

She was beautiful. So perfect with her porcelain skin without any imperfection, so captivating with her long black hair and god, those eyes... How anyone couldn't fall for those eyes?

The two girls were sitting on the bed, looking at each other, sharing a smile.

This lasted a moment, a moment when their complicity had come back of itself, naturally.

They continued to exchange naturally for hours without noticing the time running around them, they had barely heard their parents greet them before going to bed. Parents who were happy to hear the sisters talk together without arguing.

Finally, it was Mei who dropped the bomb.

-I missed it, talking with you, she said, smiling shyly.

It grabbed Yuzu's heart.

-I just missed you, Yuzu said, squeezing her heart once more before feeling her hand and Mei's moving closer to finally making contact.

Mei didn't answer with words but just as Yuzu she approached her face before they both ended up getting lost in a soft, tender kiss. Yuzu took Mei's face in her hands while kissing her.

-I missed you so much Mei, Yuzu said between a kiss, looking at the raven haired girl in a deep look.

Their lips united again, it was beautiful, it was sweet, it was full of passion and tenderness.

Yuzu's lips wanted to scream through that kiss how much she still loved her, she wanted to scream it out loud. Because yes, even after all of this, even after all this time, she was still as much in love with the brunette girl who captured her lips in this moment, and seeing her had just brought it out even stronger.

But she couldn't tell her, these words wouldn't come out of her mouth. She would have been too scared that this kiss stopped and all she wanted now was to touch Mei, to feel her even if this was just a short dream.

Their kiss was strong, it was good but also painful for both girls. Mei felt tears come to her eyes. She blamed herself for being so weak, she blamed herself for sinking in this so easily and more than anything she blamed herself to present something to Yuzu that she could never offer to her.

Yet she didn't want to leave her lips, she didn't want to leave her skin and contact. She wanted to get lost in the moment, forget everything else and that time stops for them.

In truth Yuzu was also scared, afraid that all of this could stop, afraid that Mei disappears again, afraid of... this weeding who was going to seal her destiny.

Their soft kiss continued, their tongues slowly dancing between together to the sounds of their stifled moans. Mei was getting hot, she felt it all over her body. Yuzu had seen it too, the black-haired girl's cheeks were completely red. This vision gave a shiver to the blonde who felt the excitement rising in her whole body.

Yuzu was no longer the naive and innocent girl she was before, she clearly knew what she wanted now when her kiss became warmer, more intense.

Mei felt it too, Yuzu's desire as the blonde laid her on the bed and she now gently kissed her neck, gently lowered her hands on her hips, gently pulling up her flanks and now stroking her breast over her shirt.

Mei moans at this sensation and her face becomes redder in an instant. She was surprised by Yuzu's behavior, when did she became so enterprising.

In fact, Yuzu just wanted to touch her, she wanted to feel that she still could make her shiver, that she still could make her feel things, before losing her forever.

And the idea that if she stopped kissing the brunette now, if she stopped touching her then maybe she would never be able to do it again.

She was obsessed with the idea that maybe it was the last time that Mei would let herself be touched by her like that, and even though she felt things were a bit hasty, that maybe this was going way too fast, she couldn't stop.

She wanted to be able to feel her once more before everything stops, she was obsessed with this idea.

Their kiss was getting wet and tense, Mei moaned softly as Yuzu gently removed the buttons from her shirt.

-Yuzu, stop ... Mei's mouth was protesting but her eyes begged to continue.

Very delicately, Yuzu slid her hands on the bare skin of the brunette as she had spread her shirt, gently she caressed the lace of her bra.

The black haired girl had her eyes fixed on Yuzu's who was watching her with so much passion in her eyes. Mei gets so red as she feels Yuzu's hand begin to touch her chest over the bra.

-Your heart beats so fast, Mei...

In fact, Mei wanted to tear off that bra that stood between their burning skins, she wanted to feel Yuzu caress her breast and she felt how this desire was burning. But they shouldn't. They couldn't cross this line.

The blonde kissed Mei with a desire so strong, so burning.

\- I want you so much Mei. She said with a voice full of lust.

Her words sent an electric shock into Mei's belly. She also felt like it, she felt it, every touch of Yuzu made her shiver and made her head turned so fast, but she couldn't, they shouldn't...

While Yuzu was about to remove Mei's bra, the brunette's hand stopped her.

-Yuzu ... She says hardly, she was so eager, it was painful to stop the gesture of the blonde.

-We can't Yuzu...

Yuzu stopped her gesture, she was a little disappointed.

But she was not upset at Mei. Basically she was expecting Mei to stop her. So she lied next to the brunette with her head in her neck, she wanted to stay there forever, against her. Feel her breath soothed her. Yet something went disturbing this moment. She felt a sob of Mei lift the body of the black haired girl.

-Mei? Yuzu said worried, she was afraid of having hurt the brunette by getting to fast earlier.

She turned her gaze to her, worried.

-Mei what is it?

Mei ran her hand gently over Yuzu's cheek, looking at her with tears in her eyes and a sadly look.

-Yuzu ... I'm so sorry.

She sobbed even more by saying these words and buried her head in Yuzu chest while clasped the blonde's top with both hands. She was crying hotly in Yuzu's neck, who said nothing.

-I'm sorry Yuzu, I'm sorry ... She kept saying.

-Mei, stop it please. Yuzu spoke calmly but she couldn't really stand to hear Mei's apology.

Despite everything, she couldn't help but have her heart tight seeing the brunette in this condition. Seeing Mei crying was something extremely painful. Especially because the raven haired girl doesn't usually show her emotion and she always tried to hide how she really feels through a cold expression.

Yet, now she was crying so hard. And it hurt Yuzu, she was in pain on one hand because she still was angry at Mei but on another hand she was also hurt to see her heavy tears.

Mei said nothing, continuing to sob in Yuzu's arms until she spoke again as the sobs seemed to have stopped.

-Yuzu ... started Mei, tell me ... Please, tell me about your first time.

Mei's question deeply surprised Yuzu who opened her eyes wide by staring at hers. She didn't know how to answer to this and she didn't understand why Mei wanted to know that. It was a little awkward.

-I ... well ok… I ... I was in a party and I met this girl. We were both a little drunk, well, I drank a lot that night. Yuzu was a little embarrassed by saying that.

Mei listened attentively, her head still fled into Yuzu's chest, which was continuing her story.

-We talked a bit and then she asked me if I wanted to spend the night at her place so I said why not, I didn't want to go home that night and then, as I said… I drank too much. So we get at her place and well we just did it, that's it. I must admit that I don't remember very well how things happened, Yuzu had a nervous laugh.

-What do you remember? Mei asked.

-Why do you want to know that? Yuzu asked.

-Please…

Yuzu sighed before answering.

-Well ... I remember having a little pain when ... well you know when she came in. And I also remember the feeling of her body on mine. I also remember that I didn't find that very good in fact and the rest is mostly memories of sounds and pretty blurry images. As I told you, I don't remember very well, I really drank too much that night and it wasn't really the first time I expected to be honest.

Mei tightened her hands stronger on Yuzu's top.

\- What was her name?

Yuzu was a little ashamed to answer that.

-Inori or Imeko maybe Hana? I don't remember. The blonde turned her head with shame.

-When did it happen?

Yuzu didn't really want to answer that, but she felt Mei's insistence and something in her wanted to tell her.

-It was five weeks, maybe six, after you left.

These words fall like a sentence.

Mei said nothing for a moment, she tried to calm her tears so she wouldn't cry again. She was in such a pain, she felt so much pain in her chest.

-I'm sorry Yuzu, she said as she raised her head and looked into the blonde's green eyes. I'm sorry….

-Stop it, I told you, Yuzu asked.

The brunette was still quite surprised by Mei's reaction and didn't quite understand why it seemed to hurt her so much.

-Have you done that with other people? Mei already knew it but she wanted to hear that from Yuzu.

-Yes ... Yuzu felt even more embarrassed now.

-Will ... Matsuri and you ... did it?

Yuzu was quite surprised at this question, how could she think of that?

-Well, yes.

-Several times?

-Yes...

-Did...did you... like it?

Now it was way too much for these questions, Yuzu was really embarrassed now and was starting to feel annoyed.

-Mei, listen, I'm sorry but I don't want to answer that, this is weird!

Mei said nothing, she tried the best she could to collect information from Yuzu. Her heart hurt her. But at the same time she was angry because her pain was so selfish.

Yuzu couldn't understand why Mei was asking her all these strange questions, but she could see that her answers were hurting her.

Would she be jealous? She wondered.

Of course Mei felt jealousy, but in fact her pain was not limited to that. The brunette couldn't help but think that if Yuzu had such a shabby first time, it was because of her. If she hadn't left her, then certainly Yuzu would never have left that night, she would never have drunk to that point and wouldn't have ended up with a girl who she doesn't even remember the name.

The thought that Yuzu's first time had been taken like this, in such an insignificant and sad way, was something that hurt Mei a lot.

Mei couldn't tell it clearly, pushing her thoughts deep inside herself. But obviously, she was suffering from not being that person, not being the person with whom Yuzu should have had her first time…

Also, she was really wounded at the thought of all the girls who could touch her, give her what she never gave her and see her as she never saw her, facets of her that she didn't know, because she left...

As for Matsuri, well it was really pure jealousy, Matsuri had put her hands on her...

Mei wanted to cry again thinking about it, but she struggled with all her strength to hold back her tears. The brunette felt like she cried this year more than in her entire life.

It made her sick, imagining Matsuri and Yuzu together it was just something dreadful for her, and when she thought about it she was angry with the whole world that it had happened.

-Mei ... What's going on? Yuzu asked worried about the brunette's reaction.

-I'm sorry to be so selfish Yuzu. But it hurts me so much that you could sleep with her. There was a tone of reproach in the voice of the brunette.

Yuzu did not answer that.

-I do not even know clearly why I suffer so much but when I think about it, it breaks my heart and I know that I behave terribly selfish but I ...

Yuzu cut her off before she could finish. In fact, she was hurt by Mei's words and even though she didn't want to get angry again, she felt that annoyance was coming up in her so she was going to tell her all the things, as they were past and how they felt.

-I'm sorry Mei but what I'm going to tell you is probably not going to please you and it will surely hurt you. I can clearly see that there is a trouble there, but I am going to tell you frankly, what I do with my body and with whom I have sexual intercourse, it doesn't concern you.

Mei received the blonde's words as an uppercut but didn't answer.

-I find that your reaction is immature and selfish. You are the one who left me, it is you who chose to agree to marry and leave me, I didn't do anything wrong so I don't have to suffer your pain as a reproach or feeling bad about doing what I did.

Mei was clearly ashamed now, Yuzu was right, it is not her concern. Yet there remain one question that burned her lips.

-Did Matsuri forced your hand...?

Yuzu let out a long sigh of annoyance. She couldn't believe she actually had this conversation with her. Another day she would have slapped Mei for this question, but after the kiss they exchanged, she felt less inclined to get angry against the brunette.

-Listen Mei, obviously you're blocking on it, but let me tell you something. The real problem is not sex or with whom I slept. The real problem is your inability to assume that things have changed in your absence and that some of these changes are your fault. Accept that things have happened like that and you have no control over it. I wasn't going to wait forever for someone who left me to get married! I'm still going to tell you what happened between Matsuri and me and I hope that after that you'll try to accept things as they are.

At first, know that Matsuri didn't force my hand. She's not the kind of person who does that. The first time we did it was about eight months ago. That night I really didn't feel very well, and to try to think of anything else ... but you, I went to a party with people I had met. Only they were not good people, they wanted to have fun differently and to touch things harder than alcohol but that's out of bounds for me.

I had drunk a lot and I had a big fight with one of the girls in the group for a completely stupid subject, she thought I wanted to have sex with her boyfriend, which was not the case, at all. He was the one who stared at me all night and it was disgusting. So we argued hard enough and I ended up being thrown out with her. I had nowhere to go so I went to Matsuri's place.

Mei's eyes darkened.

-Don't make that look, luckily Matsuri was there when you were not. Yuzu snapped before continuing. So I came to her house and she welcomed me, I wasn't good, I vomited a lot because of alcohol but she took care of me. After that we discussed and I cried a lot because of you, sorry Mei but I can't hide it from you, it was your absence that made me so bad. So Matsuri managed to cheer me up and I'm not sure how it came, naturally I would say, we did it. We did it together and neither she nor I forced anyone.

The next day we talked about it with clearer ideas and we both agreed that we didn't want to get in a relationship, neither she nor I wanted things to change between us, well more than that I would say. So we made it clear for that doesn't spoil our friendship and we shouldn't put feelings into this. I accepted things, she did it too and that's just how things happened.

-Do you feel anything for her?

-She's my friend and I love her a lot but I don't have love feelings for her. For me, all this was just good moments spent between two people agreeing for that. Now Mei, you have to accept things as they are, as I was forced to accept them too.

Mei bowed her head feeling a little ashamed. She stopped her questions, basically the blonde was right, sex was not the real problem. The two girls went to bed but thoughts were still shaking in their minds.

Yuzu was also disturbed by Mei's questions, and she too had thought about it. Before she was dreaming of what could be her first time, of course she had always imagined that it would happen with Mei, she would give herself to her with love and that it would be tender and passionate ... Next to that she had imagined, that first time was much worse than disappointing. But in fact, that's what she wanted that night, when she went back to that girl's house and let her take that thing that once seemed precious to her.

Yuzu was aware of it by doing so, she wanted to erase her hopes, snatch the idea that Mei and she could share that. And it was also a totally masochistic attempt to destroy herself and feel something other than nothingness. Because at that time, all the feelings in Yuzu were dominated by the chaos of her life.

As Yuzu turned off the bedside lamp, she brought her body closer to Mei, and the two girls huddled together in pain and nostalgia.

How could it be so good and so painful to feel the presence of the other?

The two girls remained a moment trapped in their thoughts and memories, then finally fell asleep, firmly gripped in the arms of the other.

The next day, Yuzu awoke with a start. She opened her eyes, thinking for a moment that she had dreamed all that, but reassured when she saw Mei sleeping in front of her.

-You are so beautiful, she said softly to the sleeping brunette.

Yuzu gently caressed her face, her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her lips...

-I miss you so much Mei if you knew, she whispered, she needed to tell her but couldn't tell her if she was awake.

Gently she laid her lips on Mei's, who began to shake in her sleep.

In fact, Yuzu was trapped in a painful reality, she wanted to enjoy everything she could before Mei disappeared again and surely forever this time.

This desire was really strong and although she knew that nothing would come back as before, that this wasn't going to last, she still wanted to enjoy it. She liked to see her, she liked to look at her and touch her. She loved her, simply. And this love was also really painful.

For a year she had suffered her absence and for a year her body had been bruised to be separated from her. How many times she had imagined forcibly seeking her, going back to see her grandfather and telling him the whole truth. To go find Udagawa and break him down... But all that was just unrealistic thoughts and she had been forced to admit the reality.

But now that Mei was there, near her... She didn't want her to go away again and even if she knew things impossible, she had to do everything to enjoy every moment in her presence.

After that night, her anger against Mei was weakened. Maybe it was because she had seen her crying so much and she had realized that she, must had to suffer from all this too. Maybe it was just because she loved her so much that she couldn't continue to blame her when she was so beautiful.

The rest of the day passed quickly while they both stay with their parents, talking and watching TV together as a normal family.

The two girls had a hard time saying goodbye and Yuzu's mother had to see it because she encouraged the girls to spend the day together next weekend.

-Why wouldn't you go out, as you did before? You can go shopping or go to the amusement park? Ume said, smiling.

-Yes, let's go to the amusement park! Yuzu said before Mei had time to answer. The brunette didn't refuse.

That night, Yuzu hadn't stopped thinking about the events of the day before, and the kisses... She was still angry with Mei but it seems that, kissed her and touched her as before, had appeased her anger. As if she almost forgot about the weeding approaching at high speed.

Two weeks… She thoughts.

 _I have two weeks left._

* * *

That's it for this chapter.

Actually, I like Mei a lot, even if she seems cold and cruel to Yuzu. I always loved tsundere and kuudere female characters, so Mei is good to me!

Also I'm a little sadistic that's why I like to make her cry *devilistic laugh*. More seriously, it's true that Mei is crying more than usual in this story.

In fact, I wanted to change a little bit roles and show Mei emotional. Plus, there are a lot of things in her life she can't control, her feelings about Yuzu she wanted to buried, the fact that Yuzu had changed during this year, all the harm she did to her and she also is afraid by her wedding.

I think that all of that can make crack anyone (maybe even Chuck Norris, who knows...).

Thank you for reading :)


	7. Love me through my flesh

Hi there! This is chapter 7.

Thanks to all of you for your reviews, followers and favorites for this story, I appreciate a lot : )

Careful, this chapter contain lemon, just so you know ; )

I hope you'll enjoy.

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

After this weekend, Yuzu's emotions were completely upset. The blonde didn't know what to think about Mei's behavior and didn't really know how to react after all that happened.

This night she hadn't stopped thinking about their kiss, wondering what that could mean to Mei, if it really meant anything, if this would change anything...

Of course, the next day she was forced to tell her friends about that and both of them didn't like what they heard. Matsuri seemed particularly irritated, she had practically ignored Yuzu all week, pretending that she didn't see her in the corridors, and she always went out first of her class so that Yuzu wouldn't catch her.

Yet this Friday she had waited for the blonde behind her classroom and insisted that Yuzu come spend the night at her place.

Actually, the blonde didn't really want to. Tomorrow she had to find Mei at the amusement park and she wanted to be alone tonight, in order to reflect on all that, but she didn't want to anger her friend who had simply avoided her all week, so she just accepted.

Yuzu felt that Matsuri had something important to say, the pink haired girl was behaving strangely all week long and now that they were at her place, watching TV together, the youngest girl still hadn't said a word.

-Matsuri, if you have something to say to me, you can tell me, you know? Yuzu just say.

The youngest took a moment to answer, she seemed to think of a way to approach things. Finally her face expressed anger and she began to speak.

-Seriously, what are you doing Yuzu?

Yuzu was surprised by her friend's question.

-What are you referring to?

-Mei, of course! What are you thinking about, doing this with her?!

Yuzu suspected this to was the root of the problem, but she really didn't want to talk about it.

-What is happening Yuzu? What are you both playing?!

-I ... Really, I don't know what to answer.

\- Honestly I'm a little mad at you Yuzu, and if I tell you that, it's because I'm your friend. I really don't understand what you are doing! I don't understand what you're thinking. Seriously have you at least, thought about consequences?

-Not… Really. Yuzu lowered her head, she felt a little ashamed to be reprimanded like that.

-For real Yuzu! I saw you suffer, I saw you in the most absolute pain, I saw you hit rock bottom! Mei abandoned you, she let you down without even coming to tell, she completely trampled your feelings and now that she comes back, I have the impression that you forgot all that! That you just forgave her and now everything is great in the best of all worlds!

-I haven't forgotten, how could I forget that?

-So why are you doing this?! Why are you kissing her like that? Matsuri was talking hard now, she was struggling to contain her nervousness.

-I don't know… I just wanted it.

-I'm not going to agree that answer Yuzu! Matsuri turned off the television that was going on teenage shows and continued. You'll have to give me a clearer one.

It was hard for the blonde to be confronted like that, as she was trying to push all those things away from her mind so that she wouldn't have to think about it. She looked down and took a deep breath before speaking in a slightly shaky voice.

-I ... Since I saw her again, it's as if all my feelings had come back to surface. And I don't really know why, but deep down I really want to touch her, to kiss her, to be with her, all the time. Spending a week without her without knowing when I'm going to see her again is just terribly painful and I feel like, every second I spend away from her is a deep tear. And you see, when I touch her like that, when we kiss, I feel that it is what she wants too and... Yuzu paused to observe two birds perched on a branch by the window and then continued to speak with a shaking voice.

-And, you know, feel that she wants it too and that she shares it with me, it gives me, maybe, I don't know... Maybe it gives me some hope.

Matsuri's expression was mixed between exasperation and sadness.

-Yuzu... Damn Yuzu...

-I know it sucks, Yuzu had a nervous laugh. But she doesn't really repel me and I think that maybe it means that everything isn't lost?

-Yuzu... Matsuri lowered her head with sadness, she probably had a lot of trouble with what the blonde told her.

-She will get married Yuzu. The pink-haired girl took a pose, and continued. Can you remind me when the wedding is?

Hearing this word "wedding" Yuzu's heart squeezed hard and a horrible thrill ran through her body. She almost stammered while answering Matsuri.

-In... In a week. Saying that at loud was far more painful than she would have imagined. It was as if a dagger slowly pierced her heart from side to side. At the same moment she looked at the branch by the window but the two birds had flown away.

Thinking about Mei's wedding was something Yuzu had forced herself not to do. She had made sure that this truth was pushed back as far as possible from her mind, thinking about it was terribly painful and made her feel horribly nauseated.

-I know it hurts Yuzu, but I have to confront you to reality. This wedding is going to happen in a week, and I think it is important for you to realize it otherwise you will suffer again.

Tears began to rise in the blonde's eyes, she already knew all that but somewhere deep in her, hope still persisted.

-Yuzu, I'm sorry for what she did to you when she let you down but I think Mei isn't aware of the harm she is doing. I think she herself doesn't really know what to do and she is completely lost too. But you must not forget that it's her decision to get married, she is the one who choose to follow the path of her family.

-I know…

-Despite all of that, you really want to keep seeing her?

Yuzu was in terrible pain, and the nausea in her stomach was starting to get stronger.

-I ... I can't do otherwise... I know she'll get married, I know that I will terribly suffer, but I have to see her, I have to do it, Matsuri. How am I going to live knowing that I didn't take the chance to spend every moment that I could with her?

-You're an idiot Yuzu. Matsuri was sad for her friend but she understood that nothing she could say could change things. Yuzu was far too addicted to the raven haired girl.

-I know, said the blonde, lowering her head, a tear rolled from her eyes to hit the floor of the living room. I know she's getting married, I know there'll never be anything, that I have nothing to expect from her. But my feelings are real and ... Yuzu stopped, it was hard for her to talk.

Without saying anything, Matsuri took the blonde in her arms. She was terribly afraid for her friend because she knew she was going to suffer again and the worst was yet to come. And all she could do was to be there for her.

The next day, Yuzu dreaded the day with Mei, the conversation she had with Matsuri was still fresh in her mind and thinking about all this had left a bitter aftertaste. Nevertheless, Yuzu had really taken care to be pretty for Mei.

Matsuri had insisted on accompanying Yuzu to the amusement park. In fact, all she wanted was to be able to confront Mei with a stare.

-Mei… Matsuri said with a lot of bitterness and a dark look when she was face to face with the brunette.

-Matsuri. Mei coldly replied.

This was all the girls exchanged to each other. Both had looked at each other with challenge looks.

-Be careful Yuzu, said Matsuri finally turning away from Mei, I'm here if you need.

-See you later! Yuzu tells her.

The blonde approached Mei, she was completely intimidated now but was trying to hide it. It had been a long time since she had felt that way in the presence of someone. In fact, the only person who ever made her feel like this, was Mei.

Mei was so beautiful, she was wearing an ample white cotton sweater discovering her creamy shoulders and a red skirt that unveiled her knees, it was a magnificent vision.

-Hello Mei, she said, you're very pretty today... She blushed instantly saying that.

Mei kept looking in the direction of Matsuri with an angry look on her face.

-Yuzu, have you spent the night with this girl? She asked without answering what the blonde had just said.

Yuzu shook her arms.

-Absolutely nothing happened! Nothing at all. She said then.

Mei seemed to calm down, she was scared it's true.

At first, if the situation was a little tense between them, things quickly calmed down as the two girls took advantage of the moment, resuming their old habits.

Yuzu was trying to find excuses thinking that she was doing absolutely nothing wrong there and that after all, now that they were here together, she must enjoy. In fact she was still putting on blinkers.

Yuzu was thrilled, in the end, spending a day with Mei was something she had dreamed of for so long. The brunette, too seemed to have forgotten the cruel truth and rejected in her mind the idea of the wedding that was waiting for her in a few days.

Between two attractions, Yuzu offered a crepe to Mei, she had always found it lovely to see the brunette eating sweets. It was so much the opposite of her usual inflexible air. But Yuzu knew it was just a facade and that Mei was so much more than that...

Yuzu felt like she knew Mei better than anyone and she sincerely hoped it would stay the same.

The afternoon was already well underway when the two girls decided to enter an attraction called "escape room", it was as its name indicated, an attraction which consisted in finding the exit of a series of rooms.

-The attraction includes five rooms between each room, we may decide to go out or continue, says Yuzu. Of course, if we want to go out before we can, we are not locked up, she continued, smiling, seeing a slightly worried expression in the brunette's eyes. Do you want to try it?

\- We may try.

The two girls then entered the first room, it was a simplest room, it didn't take long to find the next room.

In fact, Mei seems focused to play, she was the one who had practically found all the clues of the second room.

The third room took more time but once again Mei had managed to find the exit, but the fourth one, clearly gave them a hard time.

This room was less lighted than all the others. It was the imitation of a classroom but smaller and the windows were obviously not real windows but paintings from outside in the middle of the night.

 _This room is supposed to be scary_ , Yuzu thought.

In fact, Yuzu wasn't really scared, but maybe it was because she saw Mei getting angry by not finding the solution and that, watching her like that reminded her when she was watching her in their own classroom back them.

Staying in here, in a classroom imitation with Mei, brought out a lot of memory in Yuzu's mind and Mei soon felt it too when she turned around and she caught the blonde staring at her.

Yuzu blushed instantly when she got noticed. For Mei, it had always been both embarrassing to discover that Yuzu was staring at her during classes while everyone could see her, it was also incredibly flattering and sometimes when she turned around, all she was hoping for was to see Yuzu watch her.

Thinking back to that, Mei wondered if she hadn't, despite herself, been involved in Yuzu's lack of attention in class. And to that idea she blushed.

-I can't find any other clues, said Mei, her cheeks still red, she was relying on a school table.

Yuzu approached her, she thought she saw something on the board but didn't have time to go check 'cause when she passed in front of Mei, she felt the brunette pull her and immediately catch her lips.

Emotions shook so hard in Yuzu's body. She felt a huge burst of heat through her whole body instantly in contact with those lips.

She loved this so much, feeling Mei take the lead like that and break her bonds by acting so impulsively. Of course it worked every time on Yuzu, every time she was caught in her nets and it was completely impossible for her to resist.

-I often imagined doing that when we were in class together. Said Mei, and it had electrified Yuzu instantly.

Indeed, the blonde's brain has been short-circuited by what Mei had just taught her. Yuzu smiled.

-Kaichou, what if someone surprises us? Said Yuzu who wanted to play that game.

At these words of the blonde Mei pushed Yuzu on the school chair in front of her and sat astride her lap while continuing to kiss her.

-I would only have to say that it's your punishment for not respecting the rules. Mei spoke with a cold, sharp voice, the same way she was addressing the students back then, whom she had to reprimand. Yuzu had always found it incredibly sexy but had been careful not to say it.

Yuzu had to raise her head to be able to capture Mei's lips properly. Currently she was in an unimaginable struggle not to tear off the brunette's clothes and take her here and now.

Feeling Mei straddling her, her breast leaning against her chest as her arms wrapped around Yuzu's neck ... God, it was so exciting. At this moment, Yuzu had completely forgotten her conversation with Matsuri, she had forgotten the wedding and everything else in fact. The only thing she hadn't forgotten was her desire for the dark haired beauty.

Mei was staring at Yuzu with a burning desire in her eyes, she gently placed a wick of her hair behind her ear and grabbed Yuzu's lips again, softly dancing her tongue with hers.

-If that's how you punish me, I'll break the rules more often...

Without answering the blonde, Mei slowly got up grabbing Yuzu's hand, she sat against the desk facing the board and slightly spread her legs so that Yuzu could place her pelvis against her as she pulled her towards.

Mei's cheeks were completely red and her eyes burning, she didn't say a word but gently bit her lower lip.

 _The vision you offer me is so exciting_ , thought Yuzu.

She stuck her pelvis in Mei's crotch and leaned against it, god how could she still resist to not jumping on her?

She wanted to touch her, here she wanted to confirm the idea she had, convinced that Mei may be burning down there, at least Yuzu was, she felt it.

The two girls continued to kiss passionately while hugging each other.

-Mei... finally say Yuzu. Mei, if you continue like this, I won't be able to resist anymore.

Mei moaned in Yuzu's mouth when the blonde said that. The brunette felt it too, how much desire was burning in her chest.

-Yuzu... just let's keep kissing, a little more.

Yuzu let herself be dragged again in a deep kiss with Mei, moaning with excitement at each spark that it caused her stomach.

Finally their lips parted and it was painful. The two girls were out of breath from all the kisses they were exchanged. Since how long they were here, the lips united in so passionate kisses?

 _You're just such a tease_ , Yuzu thought, looking at Mei breathless in front of her.

Finally the two girls came out of the attraction by the exit door.

-Do you want to come home tonight? She ventured to ask to Mei. It would please our parents.

-I'm sorry Yuzu, I have a meeting with my grandfather tonight.

Yuzu was a little disappointed but she didn't show it to the brunette. Saying good bye Yuzu, caressed Mei's cheek and stared at her lips for a moment, biting her own lip. She made Mei understand how bad she wanted to kiss her again...

Since she couldn't be with Mei tonight, Yuzu decided she wanted to go out and change her mind.

Yuzu still went home to change, she was on a cloud nine and couldn't recover from the day she spent with Mei, and all of these... kiss.

She crossed the door of the apartment, obviously the first thing that wanted to know her mother was how the day passed.

-It was nice, Yuzu replied simply, she didn't want to lie down on it, but if she could just respond with a scream, she'd probably scream for joy.

-EHHHHHH she cried in her pillow after being showered and changed. She was upside down.

 _Damn Mei why are you doing this to me?!_

She didn't want to think about the wedding, nor want to think that it was all going to end. Then abruptly and painfully was going to be the fall.

Meanwhile Mei was terrified.

Each passing day brought her inexorably closer to the event that would seal her destiny. In fact, she knew that what she was doing with Yuzu was wrong but she couldn't help it...

She was going to make her suffer again to behave like an egotistical child.

Actually she just wanted to be with her, to be in her arms. Being far from her this year had been so difficult and seeing her had so upset all her false certainties.

After yelling enough, Yuzu got up and as she was going out, her step-father stopped her.

-Yuzu, didn't you forget that tonight your mother and I go to the country for several days?

Yuzu had forgotten.

-Okay, have fun both, don't eat too much, she joked.

It meant that she could come home at any time tonight and that she would have the apartment for herself, this idea pleased her, she liked to have the apartment for herself and to be able to literally live in the living room.

She rejoined her friends to the restaurant where they were waiting for her.

-The amusement park was good? Matsuri asked with a hint of bitterness.

-Yeah… Yuzu blushes instantly.

The girls' fries arrived quickly and Yuzu was happy to be able to change the conversation. Outside the night began to fall and the sky had taken a beautiful orange, yellow color.

After eating the girls went directly to the karaoke located two blocks away. It was not the first time they went to this place, actually it was here that the girls had been together for the first time more than a year ago now, the day Harumin met Matsuri.

Harumin's first impression at Matsuri had been very negative, now the two girls had become very good friends, partly because Matsuri had matured a lot since then.

It was horrible how the girls were terrible singer, especially Harumin who really didn't have the artistic fiber. She sang terribly badly but she really seemed to put all her heart into it.

-Maybe if she continues like this, she will succeed in breaking my glass. Yuzu joked.

-Oh fuck you, Yuzu! You don't know anything about talent, say Harumin before starting to sing again.

The girls were singing and smiling loudly when Yuzu's phone began to vibrate. She almost didn't notice it.

-Hannn, Harumin bellowed, Yuzuchi, you're breaking my flow!

Yuzu laughed while she picked up and answered the phone, though she didn't recognize the number calling.

-Hello? She had an ear glued to her phone and plugged her other ear with her hand so she could hear properly.

-Yuzu...

She immediately recognized the girl's voice on the other end of the line.

It was Mei and she was crying, Yuzu could hear it clearly. Hearing her like this instantly made her feel like a cold shower, and immediately everything else seemed to disappear. She covered the microphone of the phone with her hand and left the room warning her friends.

-I'm sorry girls, there is something unexpected, I have to go.

She doesn't say anything more. Letting her friends questioning and then finally resume their evening. After all, they perfectly knew that they couldn't do anything to change Yuzu's mind...

-Are you ok Mei? Yuzu asked worriedly.

-I'm sorry to call you like this Yuzu...

\- You don't have to apologize Mei, just tell me what happened? Yuzu was really worried but she was doing everything she could to hide it from Mei.

-I had a fight with my grandfather.

The blonde didn't have to know more to understand that the situation must be really serious. Mei wasn't the type to argue with her grandfather at all, she was, on the contrary, often ready to silence her opinion when it came to him.

Her obedience to her grandfather had always annoyed Yuzu, and nowadays, even more after all this year.

-Mei, I'm on my way. I'll wait for you at the end of the street.

-But Yuzu... I can't go out like this.

-I'd wait for you Mei, this weekend you'll sleep at home, our parents aren't there anyway. Yuzu's tone was unequivocal.

Mei took a little time to answer.

-Okay… She finally said.

Yuzu start running, she wanted to get to Mei as soon as possible. Fortunately, the karaoke was only a few minute walk from the place where the grandfather of Mei lives.

The blonde ran then, ignoring the few passersby who looked at her questioningly, like if they had never seen anyone run. Or maybe it was the worried expression on her face that they found surprising.

The blonde knew all the paths that led to this house by heart. In fact, during all this last year, she surprised herself several times by walking around this street without noticing.

The blonde was really out of breath as she arrived, running like that had made her really hot.

It was late, and Yuzu knew that if her grandfather caught her while Mei was going away like that they were both going to have a very bad time. She hoped that the brunette would come soon as she noticed her slowly cross the gate and close it quietly behind her.

Yuzu approached her quickly.

-Mei, are you okay?

The orange sky had given way to a rather clear night. The light of that night illuminated the face of the brunette who was red with tears.

Before Mei had time to answer, Yuzu took her hand and walked with her to her place.

Mei didn't say anything all the way. Once inside her apartment, the blonde led Mei into her bedroom and sat her on the bed, lighting the small lamp on the desk.

-Do you want something to drink? She asked.

Mei shook her head.

After using a big glass of water that she finished in a sip, Yuzu returned to the room and sat next to Mei who hadn't moved a centimeter.

-Mei, do you want to tell me what happened, she asked worried.

Mei sighed sadly before answering.

-Grandfather and I, argued about the ... wedding. Mei's voice was really full of sadness and Yuzu knew very well that it must be hard for her to argue with him. Still, it was the first time Mei had brought the wedding on the table and it was hard for Yuzu to hear her talk about it, but she took a deep breath and didn't let her pain show through.

-Why?

-Well ... He finds that I don't get involved enough and that I don't invest myself enough in the wedding preparations. He reproached me for abandoning my duties and for abandoning my future husband.

Mei must have seen in Yuzu's eyes the pain when she uttered that word, but in her eyes she also could read a great deal of pain. Even if the blonde was taking on her, it was really hard to talk about it with her.

Yuzu did not really know what to say to that but she didn't want Mei to stop talking, she could see that the brunette needed to empty her bag.

\- You still have a lot of preparations to do? It was so hard for the blonde to ask.

-These are mostly the last checks before the ceremony, I have many things to do this week and today my grandfather wanted me to go with ... Udagawa to meet the florist. Mei took a short break, she knew it must be hard to process for Yuzu. Then she continued. I did not want to cancel what we had planned together and it did not please my grandfather of course.

-But I think you have already done enough, right?

Mei smiled softly, she could see that the blonde was trying to cheer her up and she knew it was a lot to ask her.

-That's not what my grandfather thinks. So he accused me of hanging all that lightly, reminded me of my duties as a heir to the Aihara family and then the tone went up between us and I told him that I ... that anyway I didn't want to get involved more than that and also, that it was already enough.

Mei's words echoed in Yuzu's ears, she had the joy of hearing that Mei had stood up to her grandfather on this subject and especially realize that the brunette didn't want to get involved in this wedding was something that pleased the blonde even if in reality it was a poor compensation.

-Hm. I guess he didn't like it. The blonde was trying to look as detached as possible.

-Not at all. He told me that my behavior embarrassed him and he accused you of being fully responsible of that.

-What?! Yuzu was shocked by the accusation. Certainly the blonde would give anything to cancel the wedding but she had done nothing to dissuade Mei. In truth, she knew perfectly well that it would be worthless and that the only result would be to repel Mei, which was simply out of question for her.

-Yes, he knows that we spent the day together, he was quite opposed to that. He's convinced that you are trying to put ideas in my head.

Yuzu didn't really know how to react to that, Mei took her completely unprepared.

-But I needed to see you.

Mei looked up at Yuzu's eyes, which sank into her stare.

-M ... Mei.

Mei's hand gently took Yuzu's hand. And the raven haired girl laid her head on her ster-sister's shoulder.

-I would like time to stop, said Mei.

 _She's very talkative tonight_ , Yuzu thought, sliding her fingers down the long black hair.

-Me too... if only.

Gently Mei looked up at Yuzu, and of course the two girls kissed each other. It was a kiss full of sweetness and full of silent promises. Mei always seemed to express so much through her kisses, Yuzu understood with the time that it was because it was extremely difficult for her to express in words how she feels.

Delicately Mei slid her hand over Yuzu's cheek, she went down to her neck and gently caress the soft skin.

 _Her skin is so soft_ , thought the blonde.

And then, gently Mei laid Yuzu on the bed and came to lie on her. The blonde was really getting hotter now.

 _How long will I be able to resist her caresses without losing control?_

But while she was wondering about it, Mei slowly lifted Yuzu's long top and kissed her belly while continuing to lift the garment over the blonde's bra.

Yuzu's thoughts were completely short-circuited now, she was hot and she was incredibly excited. It had been days since Mei left her completely excited after giving her so many hot kisses and caresses...

-Mei, what are you doing? She manages to articulate with difficulty.

-I'm ready now Yuzu, the brunette whispered softly, kissing her.

Her kiss was so excited, much more than before. Yuzu could feel the brunette shaking against her, and she really didn't want to contradict her or ask her if it was a good idea, she just wanted it terribly.

She helped the brunette remove her own top and undid the buttons of Mei's shirt in order that she can be as naked as her.

Mei kissed and gently licked Yuzu's belly as the blonde pulled out her own bra and presented her chest to Mei who gently bit her own lip as she watched her.

Now that she was topless, Yuzu felt even more excited, shivering all over her body while Mei's hands finally landed on her breast, gently touching her nipples.

Yuzu moaned softly when she touched her here, and Mei took her lips again, slipping her tongue gently into her mouth as her hands still satisfied her breast.

Delicately Yuzu pulled Mei's bra down to feel her soft chest against hers.

It was so exciting that it hurt. Yuzu thought she had never wanted someone that bad in her life.

Seeing Mei's breast had made her head spin, she was so beautiful, the curves of her breasts were just perfect and all the blonde wanted was to touch her. That's what she did, gently she grabbed the breast of the brunette in her hands and the effect it gave her it was as if she touched breasts for the first time.

Her whole body was shaken by a violent discharge at this contact, it was so soft and hot. Yuzu's head was spinning. All that seemed to happen so fast but for nothing in the world she would have stopped the brunette.

So, gently Mei slid her hand down the blonde's slender body and delicately she undid the button of her shorts and began to slide the zipper. But, just before going further she removed her hand to bring her back to her while straightening slightly.

As she carried her hand near her, she almost tore off the engagement ring she wore around her finger while continuing to look at the blonde straight in the eyes. Then without flinching she pulled the ring and threw it away.

This simple gesture of Mei had done so much effect to the blonde, she could feel a warm heat take over her whole body in an instant just to see her throw her engagement ring like that.

Now that Mei was rid of this bother on her finger she took again where she had stopped before finally slipping her hand into Yuzu's underwear.

Yuzu moaned instantly as she felt Mei's fingers slowly travel over her folds and come crashing against her clit hardened by excitement and caressing her gently.

-Ahnn Mei, you're doing... so well... she said in a groan.

Mei smiled, staring at Yuzu in the eyes. Her face was completely red with excitement and her eyes burned with desire.

The faster she turned her fingers around Yuzu's boiling flesh, making the blonde contract and moans more and more. Fortunately their parents were not home tonight.

Mei continued her caresses and gently kissed the blonde's breasts, gently licking her nipples while her fingers continued to give her so much care.

-God, Mei... moaned Yuzu.

A huge burst of heat ran through Yuzu's body, making her moan roughly and giving her vertigo when she realized who was touching her right now.

Indeed, realizing that Mei was now masturbating her, made her even wetter, she was already so soaked... She realized instantly, Mei was with her right now and it was she who gave her all this pleasure. The more Yuzu thought about it, the more she felt the warmth take possession of her whole body.

She lifted Mei's head up to her and kissed her passionately. Her kiss was so erotic, so hot, she gently bit Mei's lower lip between her teeth. The brunette could feel how close Yuzu was, she saw it in her burning green eyes, begging for a release.

Yuzu's body tightened even harder as her orgasm approached. It had seemed to last so long that she thought she was fainting with pleasure, when finally she reached the climax, she moaned in Mei's mouth.

Mei gently removed her hand from the blonde who was now panting deeply. Yuzu still couldn't believe to see as much salacity on Mei's face.

Indeed, Mei was now looking at the blonde, smiling perversely as if she were a kind of victory for her. But that didn't suit Yuzu…

So violently Yuzu toppled Mei before stepping over her, Mei didn't manage to hide the surprise in her eyes.

-Yuz...

But the blonde didn't let her time to protest, she cut her off immediately with an inquisitive kiss.

-If you knew how I suffered from not being able to feel your body against mine, my flesh against your flesh. All I want now is to close the distance between our bodies.

Yuzu spoke softly as she slid Mei's skirt to her feet. Gently she put aside her underwear and slid her fingers on Mei's wet sex.

The dark haired girl moaned so hard at this contact, gripping the back of the blonde who kissed and sensually bit her neck regardless of whether it would leave a mark.

\- Ahn Yuzu ...

-Do you like that Mei? Yuzu asked with a tone full of sensuality.

-Y…Yes. Mei moaned deeply.

Gently Yuzu brought her fingers up to Mei's hot entrance and gently pushed two of them inside her, one after the other, as she still stared into her eyes.

Mei's eyes were so expressive right now, she gripped Yuzu's shoulders even harder as she moaned loudly with pleasure and pain.

-You are so beautiful in pleasure Mei, whispered the brunette as her fingers slipped inside Mei who writhe under her.

Yuzu could read the surprise in Mei's eyes. It was her first time and Yuzu could feel it inside, how tight it was to be in her... But in her eyes she could read the shock caused by the discovery of this carnal pleasure.

Yuzu felt the nails of the dark haired girl sinking even stronger in her flesh as she penetrated her harder.

Even if it was Mei's first time, Yuzu had no problem sliding her fingers into her. It was so beautiful to see all this on Mei's face, she who's always tried so often to hide what she feels, right now Yuzu could read in her as in an open book.

Sometimes she could see a little pain on her face but quickly the pain was replaced by pleasure and then Mei opened her eyes while clinging more firmly to Yuzu's back.

Yuzu felt that Mei was close to her limit, the dark haired girl's body tense further against Yuzu's body. She was now clutching her as her arms wrapped around the blonde's back.

Mei's moans were so exciting, they were so sweet. Yuzu thought it was totally obscene to utter such pure and candid moans.

Feeling Mei's pleasure gave so much of it to Yuzu, she accelerated, coming inside Mei to the rhythm of her deeper and deeper moans.

Finally she clearly felt her tense against her, clutching her body against hers as she felt her walls contract forcefully around her fingers. Then gently the blonde removed her fingers from Mei and hugged the brunette, snuggling her head in her neck.

Mei's body was shaking so hard, it was contracting at times.

The dark haired girl lay there without saying anything, her hands firmly hooked on Yuzu, as if she was afraid she might disappear. Her magnificent cerulean eyes were wide open and seemed to stare at the ceiling without blinking.

The girls stayed like that for a while before Yuzu pulled the sheets over Mei who was now completely cold after the fever gone down. Then they leaned forehead to forehead and eyes into eyes.

Then, softly, Mei caught Yuzu's hand in hers and hugging against the blonde, she silently started to cry.

* * *

OMG they did it! I can't believe they actually did it! I think they retained that for so long…

I must warn you that things are going to speed up quickly, we're not very far from the end, maybe 2 or 3 chapters left. I'll keep trying to do my best with chapters to come.

Thanks for reading : )


	8. I'm so in love with you

Hi there! This is chapter 8.

Thanks again to all of you, for supporting this story, it means a lot to me : )

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

Waking up this morning, Yuzu was terribly afraid that all this would just be a dream, than what happened with the brunette was only the fruit of her imagination. Then, opening her eyes, the blonde had almost straightened up on her bed with a start when she realized that Mei was not lying near her.

Actually the dark haired girl was sitting on the edge of the bed, her back was turned so Yuzu couldn't see her face.

"M ... Mei?"

The brunette didn't answer right away, and she didn't turn back to the blonde when she finally did.

"I have to go Yuzu." Without saying anything more and without turning back, the brunette got up and went to the door to leave the room.

Motivated by fear, Yuzu jumped out of her bed with speed and grabbed Mei's wrist.

"Mei?"

"Listen Yuzu, I have to go home, I have things to settle with my grandfather."

"But Mei, couldn't you wait a bit?"

Finally, Mei had turned to her but the expression on her face terrified the blonde in an instant. She had a hard look on her face yet her eyes really seemed in pain and suffering.

"Yuzu, I'm really not sure that what had happened tonight between us was a good idea. We should not have done that."

Mei's words were like daggers in the blonde's ears. Gently she pulled her wrist out of Yuzu's hand, which didn't resist. The blonde had just taken a monumental shot and it left her completely out of breath.

Feeling tears rise on her eyes and pain take possession of her whole body Yuzu could do nothing but lower her head, completely defeated by the words she had just heard. Soon the blonde couldn't even distinguish her feet so much the tears had made her vision blurred. It lightened in places every time a tear came crashing down heavily on the ground.

"I'm sorry Yuzu, I need time to think about all that."

She couldn't answer and couldn't stop her, she was far too hurt by the words she had just heard.

So when the door slammed shut and no sound came from the apartment, the blonde collapsed on the floor, her back against the door slamming under her weight, then she violently started to cry.

It had been a long time since she had been shaken by such a violent sob. Yuzu was hiccupped by this torrent of tears and it gave her an incredible difficulty breathing. She stood there, crying so hard, sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees bent to herself, she cried forcefully and felt nothing more than pain to be rejected by Mei, once more. Anyone would have been heartbroken to see her curled up on herself like that, her body shaking with violent fits of tears mixed with loudly crying.

Her blood was drumming in her head while everything in her seemed to twist under pain. She did not want to believe that Mei still rejects her, when she thought they had finally managed to unite by sharing what they had shared.

How long has she been there crying, the whole body shaken by spasms? Finally, her violent tear had subsided, her eyes were crying silently. She definitely didn't want to believe it, Mei had given herself to her, they had shared something so precious together.

Yuzu could never have believed that it was possible to share so much with someone through sex. But she had felt with Mei what she had never felt before, it wasn't just an act of pleasure, it was so much more than that, it had been a much deeper and more intimate sharing.

She had had the impression of approaching a place which she didn't know the existence and at that moment nothing else in the world existed but Mei and her and the boundaries that separated them seemed so blurry that she had felt to make one with her.

Didn't Mei feel that way? Had she been the only one to feel this transcendence?

All the time she had been there crying, her phone rang a lot of times, but she just didn't have the strength to respond to her friend who called her. So she should have known what would happen when she heard someone knock on the door. Matsuri and Harumin used to go directly to Yuzu's house every time she stopped answering her phone. It was a habit they had taken after Mei's leaving, when Yuzu could stay long hours without giving any signs of life. The two girls couldn't help worrying when it happened again, Yuzu was really not the type to leave her phone, so when she wasn't answering, it was something disturbing enough for them to move.

Yuzu had thought not to open the door, but she got up not wanting to make her friends panic any further. They were both shocked to see Yuzu's face. In fact the blonde face was completely red and puffed up by tears and her voice was completely broken because of her crying.

"Oh my god Yuzu what happened to you?" Harumin asked, then immediately pulled the blonde in her arms.

So Yuzu had told them everything, how the night she had spent with Mei had been great, how she had felt like she had never felt and how everything had collapsed in an instant while Mei had decided to leave.

"What?! You did it!" Matsuri shouted. The pink-haired girl had a deep, shocking expression on her face, she had topple the cup of tea she held in her hands on the table.

"Oh... Yuzu..." said Harumin terribly sad for her friend, she give at Matsuri a sharp disapproving look to miss the point here and the girl with pink hair seemed a little shameful.

"It was amazing, really amazing, nothing else existed, there was only her and me and she seems so close to me... I really thought she had shared the same feeling, but now I don't know what to think."

"I'm really going to kill that girl," Matsuri said in anger as she sponged the tea she had just spilled. "Frankly Yuzu, I'm sorry to tell you this after what Mei did this morning but do you really don't think it was a bad idea, regarding the situation?"

"I know your opinion on the situation, Matsuri." Yuzu wasn't angry but she was getting tired of hearing the same words all the time. "I know what you think of that, but I just can't not enjoy every second with her. So you can think I'm stupid, I certainly am. But I can't help it, what I feel for her is way too strong."

Matsuri just leaned her hand on her head and Harumin looked utterly sorry. Obviously Yuzu was aware that it was not necessarily the idea of the century to have done that with Mei. She had thought of it herself. But when they were together, everything seemed so natural, everything seemed so real. That's how things seemed to want to be. And what they had done together could not be anything bad, it had been far too perfect.

Yet, even though Yuzu was terribly afraid of the approaching wedding, she still felt a glimmer of hope in her heart.

 _And if there was still a chance?_

Mei had given herself to her... The raven haired girl may never express what she feels, giving her virginity to Yuzu was a fairly consistent proof of her affection for the blonde, at least it was what Yuzu thought.

And most importantly, when they are together nothing else matters. It's them and nothing or nobody else. So every moment that Yuzu could spend with the brunette was a precious moment she had to cherish. She, who had suffered so much from her absence, now that she could feel the warmth of her kisses, the softness of her skin and the tenderness of her caresses, how could she do without it?

"What do you intend to do then, you'll try to talk to her about it?" Harumin asked.

"I don't really know how to do that but I think it will be necessary that we have a discussion about this, I mean, we did it, it must mean something."

"Maybe you should just give her time to digest all that. I rather agree, I really don't think Mei is the type to lose her virginity with the first person coming, I think that if she did it with you is that, somewhere it means something for her…"

"I agree with Harumin. I think Mei, as fucked up as she is, is having trouble managing everything that happen in her life right now, that's true, she has to make an arranged wedding that she may not want and next to that she sleeps with you, I think that in her head she must feel really confused, so maybe tomorrow you could try to go see her and talk to her about it? In addition, it's the holidays so it gives you time to get ready for that."

The blonde had almost completely forgotten that tomorrow would be the first Monday of vacation. In fact, lately she hadn't really dared to look at her schedule, she was far too afraid to see that the date of Mei's wedding was still inexorably approaching. And now, it seemed dangerously close.

In six days... six days and nothing will ever be like it used to be...

Her friends were right, besides, not knowing when she was going to see her again was an unnamed torture for Yuzu. Every second she spent away from her seemed like hours when they had so little time to spend together.

"How can I do," Yuzu asked her friends anxiously, "she lives with her grandfather and he refuses me to see Mei before the wedding. He's convinced that I put bad ideas in her head."

 _Well, considering tonight events, I can't really prove him wrong_ , Yuzu though

"So what? You don't know how to cross a fence?" Matsuri's question was rhetorical.

Yuzu didn't answer, she gently nibbled her cheek with concern and began to stare into space.

"Yuzu, if you want to clarify the situation and want to enjoy the rest of your time then I think you should go to her grandfather's house." Matsuri insisted, "Listen, maybe I have plenty reproaches to make her but I can clearly see that you need to see her. And I really think that both of you have a lot of things to say at each other after this night."

"What if he finds me?" The blonde had turned quickly to her friend.

"It's up to you to make sure that it doesn't happen. On the other hand, ask Mei to lower her moans if you girls still want to have wild sex..." Matsuri gave a short laugh but her joke made Yuzu blush right to the ears.

"I will do it! Said the blonde, now determined to go see her. "I'll do it," she repeated.

Thanks to this conversation with her friends, Yuzu was able to see a little more clearly. Furthermore, knowing that she was going to see Mei again gave her a concrete objective and finally it relieved her a little bit.

Before her friends left, the blonde had apologized for imposing her twisted relationship with her step-sister.

"It is also for all that friends are there." The two girls were smiling at the blonde, greeting her.

They did not blame her, they even understood, it was just that they knew the outcome and the prospect of seeing their friend suffer again scared them a lot. However, they would be there for her, they would be there no matter what, to help her get up when Mei would leave her for the second time.

Yuzu had been able to spend the evening with a little less weight. All night long she had been thinking about what she was going to do, she had thought about what she could say to the brunette.

How could she tell her everything she had on her heart?

Everything? Did she really have to tell her everything? Was it too early? Was it too late?

What was certain, clear in her mind, was that she couldn't leave things as they were and certainly not after giving herself to her like that. It really must meant something to Mei. Yuzu went to bed with her mind turned upside down by all these thoughts, she took off one by one her clothes, dropping them to the ground. Her naked body almost dazzling in the darkness of the room. She wanted to sleep naked in these sheets impregnated with their smells. She slipped under the bed, blushing at the smell of Mei mixed with hers in a fragrance that gave her warmth into the heart.

On Mei's side, the situation was completely different. Yet she also was in her bed. In fact, she had fallen asleep before Yuzu. She was totally curled up on herself in a fetal position that was a bit of a pain to see. The brunette had drops of thick sweat flowing from her forehead, visibly stuck in a horrible nightmare, she was shaking and moaning. "Yuzu" she called softly, as tears came from her closed eyes…

The next day had seemed to go very slowly to Yuzu, she had gone round in circles in the apartment all day long, thinking over and over what she would be able to say to the brunette.

 _We need to talk._

 _What happened is not insignificant._

 _It must mean something for you._

 _I know you liked it too._

 _I can't live without you._

 _I love you…_

Yuzu paused abruptly when she thought about it and resumed her walk, shaking her head, no no no no she would not tell her that. She shouldn't tell her that.

She was waiting for the night to fall so she wouldn't be spotted when she would sneak in Mei's grandfather's house. Yuzu had gathered all her aesthetic sense to dress and make up in a way that would inevitably please the brunette. Well, that's what she hoped for. She was wearing a very short denim shorts with holes and a long red plaid boyfriend shirt open on a "rock & roll baby" t-shirt. It gave her a rather rock look and she thought it was a style that Mei would like to see on her. The blonde wanted to feel Mei's eyes on her, when she felt the eyes of the brunette gaze at her, she felt herself exist, she felt real.

While the sun had been giving way to the night for a few hours, Yuzu thought about her speech one last time before leaving the apartment. It was a rather lively evening and the streets were full of young couples who were strolling in love, it was rather logical for a Monday holiday. She had walked to Mei's grandfather's house trying to clear her head because she felt the stress was getting stronger and stronger in her.

Her hands were so sweaty now, as she stood in front of the big wrought iron gate that blocked her way. The light in Mei's room was off, there was only one room that seemed lit and Yuzu assumed it was Mei's grandfather's room, which made her a little more afraid of being spotted.

However, if she could have just been afraid of being caught by Mei's grandfather and throwing her out by forbidding Mei forever to see Mei again, she was now thinking of a multitude of eventualities that almost froze her on the spot.

 _What if Mei isn't there?_

 _Oh my god and if Mei is with Udagawa?_

 _What if Mei completely refuses to see me and chases me..._

The blonde had more and more trouble staying calm, but she shook her head to pull herself together. Anyway she was going to do it, she was going to do it and nothing would change her mind. She felt like she was about to commit a mischief while she looked quickly around the street if anyone was there, seeing that the way was clear she quickly started climbing the iron gate.

 _Luckily I didn't wear a skirt_ , she thought, and then realized that anyway even if she had a skirt, it was too dark and there was nobody to see below right now.

She manages to cross the portal much faster than she would have imagined, which surprised her a lot, she was expected to have more trouble than that. Fortunately the gate was made of pieces of ironwork that allowed to take support to better pass over. She had paid particular attention to the sharp spikes above it, it wasn't really the moment to stupidly hurt herself.

Once, on the other side of the iron gate, she quickly walk to the big garden tree and try to hide under her branches as she searches for a way to get to Mei's window. Mei's room was upstairs and had a large balcony. It was going to be difficult to climb there, she could have tried climbing to the tree that was under the window but she could never climb that tree. What she could do was pass from the terrace. He had to climb the wall to the terrace and cross to the balcony of the room. It was tense but feasible.

Fortunately climbing the terrace didn't seem to be as complicated as climbing this huge tree. Yuzu approached the brick wall and sought support on the gutter that came down against the wall, several times she almost fall, in fact she didn't see much in the dark.

The blonde finally managed to climb to the top and gathered all her strength to lift to the floor of the terrace and crawl with her arms to finally get up.

 _I succeeded!_

The blonde was really proud of her, she had managed to climb until there and it was rather a feat for her who was more used to go shopping on a Saturday afternoon than to sneak into someone's house while climbing the terrace. She had broken two nails in the operation and had managed to cut several places on her hands because of the gutter, she was bleeding a little, she could feel it.

Now that she was on the terrace she was better aware of the distance between the terrace and the balcony than when she was downstairs.

 _I'm not going to deflate myself now, not after everything I've done, and not after having completely screwed up my beautiful manicure_ , she thought to give herself courage.

In fact, Yuzu had a tendency to be scared of heights, fortunately, as it was dark she was a little less aware of it. Taking her courage in both hands she stepped over the railing of the terrace, her hands still firmly clutching the railing and her feet firmly fixed on the ledge, she made a big gap to catch the balcony guardrail with her left hand.

 _I can do it! I have to do it!_

Quickly she made cross her right leg and finally her other hand and her other leg followed and just as quickly she stepped over the rail and landed on the balcony. She wanted to scream to celebrate her victory, but she had to remain silent. Yuzu was pretty proud of her, it wasn't her kind to do these things but she did it quite easily and 'almost' without injuries and it was a bit of a hit for her.

Quickly she pulled herself together as she felt that stress was starting to take possession of her again. Discreetly, she tried to distinguish something in the dark room. She saw absolutely nothing, and that didn't reassure her at all. How would she do if Mei wasn't alone or if she wasn't there and her grandfather heard Yuzu knock on the window? From where she was she would have a hard time fleeing quickly if someone caught her.

Once again she drove away these pirates' thoughts and, taking courage with both hands, knocked softly on the window.

"Mei," she whispered hitting but there was no answer.

She knocked again at the window.

"Mei it's me."

Always nothing.

Then again she soflty knocked on the window. It was then that she thought she could distinguish a form moving in the darkness and she waited while observing, holding her breath. She was reassured when she finally recognized the white nightgown of the brunette and she gradually distinguished her as she approached the window.

Mei stared out the window, her eyes stern and noticing the blond girl behind, softly Mei opened the window, but barely. Yuzu felt better now that she could contemplate her face in the dim light.

Mei didn't open the window very big, not enough so that Yuzu could pass.

"What are you doing here?" She said in a cold, sharp tone. Her eyes seemed as black as the sky now and they were flashing lightning.

The harshness of her words had thrilled the blonde.

"I had to see you."

"I don't think so." Saying that, the raven haired girl pushed the window to close it.

Yuzu instantly reacted and pushed the window forcefully into the room. Mei was pushed back by the blonde who had decided not to accept the situation passively and not let Mei close herself as she used to do as soon as things started to get complicated.

"For my part, I think we have things to tell each over."

"I have nothing to tell you Yuzu. Mei remained cold as ice in front of the blonde."

Yuzu had prepared her speech before coming and even if she had repeated it several times now she was totally improvising. It was almost entirely dark in Mei's room and Yuzu didn't see very well. She went closer to Mei.

"Mei what we did, it's not trivial and I see that it seems to disturb you a lot but that's exactly why we should talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about that Yuzu, it didn't mean anything to me." Mei's cold tone could have chilled anyone, but not Yuzu, not tonight.

"That's not what you let saw Mei!"

"It was a mistake, we should never have done that and I would like you to leave now! Mei's voice was beginning to get carried away as she felt anger begin to boil in her.

"No Mei, no! I refuse to hear you say such a thing!" Yuzu was trying to keep her voice low but it was difficult as she felt that anger was rising in her.

"Get out! I don't want to see you anymore!"

Yuzu had come closer to Mei, it was out of the question for her to go away, not like that, not before clearing things up.

"We made love Mei, it must mean something!" Yuzu was shaking now as she pressed Mei against the wall and stared into the dark, dark eyes of the brunette.

She was shaking because she was really afraid of being rejected by the brunette, but it was out of the question that she lets herself go without a fight.

"I don't want to hear that!" Mei screamed louder this time and angrily she pushed Yuzu who came crashing against the floor lamp behind her.

Everything happened so quickly, when Mei's hands hit Yuzu's chest to push her away it completely took her breath away. With force she had then crashed against the floor lamp which broke violently on the ground and Yuzu barely had time to recover from the violent shock on her chest that she crashed on the ground on pieces of the broken lamp.

She also didn't have time to move or say anything that Mei was rushing on her, nailing her to the ground.

"Don't you understand what I've said?! You just always do as you pleased Yuzu!"

"Mei! I know that for you too that means something! Why do you refuse to accept it?"

Yuzu was trying to struggle to get up but the raven haired girl was holding her wrists nailed to the floor.

She had a hard time distinguishing the brunette, the room was plunged into darkness. But when Yuzu felt a wet drop on her cheek, she realized that Mei was crying.

"You don't understand Yuzu..." Mei's voice was now filled with a sad hue while the brunette's emotions fluctuated between pain and anger.

"Explain to me, if I don't understand! You're always rejecting me without telling me anything!"

"Don't you understand that it's not possible between us? It's impossible Yuzu! And now that we've done that, tell me... tell me how am I supposed to live as if nothing had happened!"

Mei's voice was hard, but the sadness that came from it was heart breaking. Yeah, it was heartbreaking. All her pain, all her distress was pouring out now and it seemed to make the room atmosphere so heavy that it was suffocating.

"Mei..."

"How can I do Yuzu? How can I do now that we have done this together?" Yuzu felt Mei's tears fall on her even louder as the brunette continued to speak with a broken voice. "I can't keep calm when you are around and I think about you all the time, I feel like I'm losing myself when you're there, I feel like I'm going crazy! And I have to get married, in a few days Yuzu" Mei's voice started to crack when she said that. "How I am supposed to save face after all this, how can I pretend that everything is fine, to continue to fulfill my duty while you're parasitizing all my thoughts! I just feel like I'm drowning..."

Mei's words echoed so loudly in the blonde's ears, she managed to straighten up with difficulty and catch Mei's forearms who still resisted.

"I promise you that it will be all right Mei... Because I'm here for you!"

What Yuzu had just said, she already thought this back at the time, she had always thought this and it would never change. No, it would never change, whatever happens. Yuzu was convinced that she could never stop being there for Mei, even if it made her the most stupid person in the world.

Upon hearing these words for the second time Mei stopped struggling so Yuzu instantly grabbed her lips trying to convey all her love through this kiss.

It had the taste of tears that kiss, but he was so good.

Mei finally replied to Yuzu's kiss, laying the blonde on the floor once more, but more gently this time.

"Yuzu, I completely lose my mind when I'm with you, it's so disturbing."

The girls kissed warmly again, Yuzu could feel like Mei was shaking, she looked so vulnerable right now. She felt the hands of the brunette gently touch her face and it made Yuzu shudder.

"I'm here to hold you back Mei..."

"You break all my certainties," continued the brunette.

Mei's words was giving so many butterflies in the stomach of the blonde, she felt a pleasant warmth inside her. It was good to know that she wasn't the only one to feel that way, Mei was disturbed by her two...

The dark haired girl gently slid her hand under Yuzu's t-shirt who completely burned at this contact. Their kiss became so passionate, the tension was so strong.

Mei moaned with Yuzu as she slid her hand under the blonde's bra and touched her breast.

Yuzu felt completely powerless, lying on the ground under Mei's weight, she could only let herself go under her caresses. Mei was so audacious right now and it completely turned on Yuzu. The brunette forced the passage with her tongue into Yuzu's mouth who tensed at the same time that Mei touched her hard nipple with her fingers.

"You drive me crazy Yuzu..."

Mei's voice was different, she was full of desire, full of burning tension. Yuzu had even though she heard a little anger.

The blonde couldn't say anything, her whole body was on fire and her brain could no longer think. Being touched this way by Mei had such a strong power over her. She liked to feel Mei like that, completely out of control, almost bestial.

The brunette who now had her head in Yuzu's neck bit her hard. It was painful but also terribly good. She was soft and hard with her and Yuzu thought she would have a hard time trying not to scream with pleasure.

 _She's completely unleashed_ , thought the blonde while Mei was almost pulling the button of her shorts sliding her hand under the underwear while Yuzu was heavily panting.

"Do you think that can calm me down, touching you there?"

Yuzu replied with a deep, incomprehensible groan. She just wanted to feel her, she wanted her to get inside her.

But soon the tension of the room gets broken violently, in an instant, when someone knocked loudly on the door.

"Mei what's going on?"

Hearing the voice of Mei's grandfather had frozen the blonde's blood and immediately dropped the fever. Mei just quickly removed her hand from Yuzu's panties.

 _This is it, he's going to see me, he's going to separate me from her forever._

"It's nothing, I just hit myself on the floor lamp."

The man grunted loudly behind the door.

"Go to bed Mei, tomorrow you have things to do!" he simply replied harshly as he walked away from the door, letting Yuzu breathe again.

"I'm sorry for that" Mei said.

"It's ok". Actually Yuzu wasn't angry at all but it's true that she was still hungry.

Mei had moved away from the blonde and was sitting on the bed. Yuzu joins her, encircling her from behind. She just rested her head on her shoulder and quietly breathed her scent.

 _You smell so good Mei... Damn, if you knew how much I love you..._

She wanted to tell her, terribly, painfully, it burned her lips, but she simply couldn't.

"What are we going to do Yuzu?" Mei's voice carried so much sadness. "What will happen to us?"

Yuzu's heart sank painfully at these words, she had to gather all her courage to answer her.

"Let's simply enjoy the time that belongs to us."

"Do you think it could be a mistake, what we've done?"

"Mei, do you really think that something so good could have been a mistake?" Yuzu asked softly to her.

"N ... No." Yuzu couldn't see it but Mei had turned red in an instant.

She pressed the blonde's hands even harder against her, she wanted to stay like that forever, it was so good, feeling Yuzu's presence, warm and comforting. She was the only one to make her feel fully alive.

"I've never liked as much doing this before, with anyone else Mei" Yuzu whispered softly into Mei's ear, moaning at the touch. She had become even redder.

Then, Mei turned slowly but before giving her time to answer that, the blonde took her face in her hands and pressed her lips to hers.

"Did you liked that as much as me, Mei?" The blonde knew very well she was playing a dangerous game to tease her like that.

"Y... Yes, it was, amazing..." She had almost whispered.

Approaching her ear Yuzu managed to whisper, "I'm proud that it's to me that you've offered your virginity." Yuzu smiled. It's true that she was proud of that but she wanted to make Mei feel even more embarrassed, because it was really something rare and particularly adorable.

But once again, Yuzu didn't give the brunette time to answer and stuck her lips on hers, she could spend hours feeding on her kisses...

"I really wanted to see you, if you knew," she finally told her.

She felt Mei softly smile against her lips then respond to her kiss.

"You are completely insane to come here like that, you could have hurt yourself by getting up here."

"I cut myself a little here, on my hand," saying that the blonde reached out her hand to Mei who caught it and kissed the injured hand with love. This had also made Yuzu have butterflies in her stomach…

The blonde was lying on the bed as Mei lit the little bedside lamp and lay down beside her.

"Did I woke you up, earlier?"

"No I ... I couldn't sleep. I ... I was thinking about you," Mei blushed as she stammered that answer. And it made Yuzu smile to see her like that, she ran a hand through her hair and she could feel it made her shudder. Even if Mei had tried in vain to persuade herself that it was a mistake, she actually seemed to be completely disturbed by what they had made this weekend and what they almost did a few minutes ago.

 _She's so cute._

Who would have thought that Mei would act like that and be totally intimidated?

"Mei..."

Yuzu kissed her warmly, if she listened to herself, she would have torned off Mei's nightgown without waiting and fucked her here and now, but she thought that she must give her some time to assimilate all that. So Yuzu decided to change the subject, she didn't want to make Mei more uncomfortable.

"How did it goes with your grandfather?"

"Not as bad as I thought. When I came back he just completely ignored me, like if I didn't exist, he didn't even ask me where I was. Today he kept ignoring me but at dinner he seemed to start to calm down."

"At least he didn't yell at you." Concluded Yuzu. "What did you do today?"

"I... I'm not really sure it's a good idea to talk about my schedule, you know."

Mei had a sad expression and Yuzu gently kissed her eye.

"Just tell me Mei." She said calmly.

Why did she want to know? If she had been asked, she wouldn't have been able to answer that herself. Maybe it was a form of self-destruction, an unhealthy desire to know what Mei was doing, even if it would certainly hurt her. In fact, it didn't really have a rational explanation. The heart has its reasons…

"Well, we. Mei pronounced this "we" very quietly, as if it were a taboo word. We, continued preparations for the wedding. I've contacted the town hall and checked that everything is in order. I have to follow the schedule given to me for the whole week.

Yuzu obviously had a hard time hearing that, but she wanted it after all. She needed to remember the event that was going to happen, she needed to keep the reality in her mind, not to forget the harsh reality and what would happen inexorably but it was also to remember to enjoy every moment with her, as if it was the last.

She took it upon herself not to show her pain and answered with the most detached air as possible.

"It must be a lot of work."

"Yes... It's very tiring."

It's true that Mei seemed very tired and incredibly sad especially when she talked about her wedding. The brunette seemed to have great difficulty talking about her wedding, the word itself seemed to have trouble coming out of her mouth.

"The next day it starts again, and all the other days of the week."

Mei's sadness was clearly readable in her eyes. Yuzu was gently touching her hair again, they were so soft. She didn't want anyone else caressing her hair, she didn't want anyone else to touch that skin, smell that smell… And she absolutely didn't want anyone else to see Mei under that angle she had shown to Yuzu.

Yuzu pull the dark haired girl in her arms.

"I want to stay like this forever." She had let go almost in spite of her. But Mei's reaction almost blew her heart out of her chest.

"M..Me too."

She said this so softly that the blonde asked herself if she really heard it correctly. But that was the case, Mei had said what she had heard. Then the blonde hugged her even harder, without daring to answer anything. Mei raised her face closer, in order to stare at her in the eyes. What did this look mean? It was full of unsaid, full of expectations.

From her gaze emanated a glow so vivid, so deep. At this moment she had the pleading look of a forsaken animal, her eyes seemed to be begging so hard that it grabbed the blonde's heart as if Mei was holding it with her own hands inside her chest. Yet, what could Yuzu have done? She was totally helpless in front of all that, so she said nothing, she just keep looking at the raven haired girl, right in the eyes and let her eyes scream how much she loves her.

Mei hung her lips on hers, taking her face between her hands, she was kissing her so lovingly that Yuzu had butterflies in her belly, once more.

They stayed for a moment without saying anything and then finally, Yuzu told Mei that she was going to wait for her to fall asleep before leaving and she had kept her in her arms until she felt her breathing subside.

She had stayed a little longer like this, watching Mei in her hands. She looked so vulnerable right now, Yuzu didn't know her like that. In fact, she always managed to keep a mask, and it hurt her to notice how Mei seemed to be suffering right now, how she seems tortured between her feelings and the reality that she should face.

The raven haired girl was clung to Yuzu's sweater as if even asleep she wanted to hold her back and not let her go.

Yuzu didn't want to understand why Mei was going to get married, but it was obvious that she was suffering. No, she couldn't want to understand that, she refused to find a valid reason why Mei was about to ruined her own life and hers at the same time. Why? Why was she about to ruin her own happiness, a possible happy future between them? Nobody could make Yuzu understand or accept this situation.

Gently she unfastened the hands of the brunette and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead before getting up slowly from the bed. She gently pulled the sheet over the sleeping girl, continuing to stare at her beautiful face before turning off the bedside lamp.

One last time she kissed her forehead and touched her beautiful hair, then she ventured to open her heart even if it would shake it hard.

"I'm so in love with you, Mei..."

* * *

Yuzu finally said it, Mei was asleep does it count?

Mei struggles a lot with her feelings, she's so emotionally stunted.

I really hope you liked this chapter ;)

Thanks for reading!


	9. I'll love you and honor you

Hi there, this is chapter 9!

This is the longest chapter I wrote and I really hope you'll like it.

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

The next day had been dull and uninteresting for Yuzu, she had stayed at home doing nothing special, she just wanted to see Mei and no one else.

She already knew that this was what she would do as soon as night fell, she would go to see her tonight and every other night of the week.

She absolutely had to seize every available second with her, she shouldn't waste any.

So, as soon as night fell, she went there the same way she already did, climbing the terrace wall with the help of the gutter and no injury this time, and then climbing up to the beautiful dark haired girl's balcony.

The sky was much brighter today than last night and it was easier to see clearly. So standing at her balcony she knocked softly at the window. Then clearly she could distinguish the face of the raven haired girl, a breathtaking beauty lit by the light of the moon.

 _"O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!_

 _It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night_

 _As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear,_

 _Beauty too rich for use, for each too dear"_

How could she not melt in front of a beauty so pure, so natural that it was almost insolent? She entered the room slowly, without making any noise, guided by the hand of Mei who had taken hers.

"I was waiting for you ..." she murmured, pulling her to her. The blonde had blushed instantly.

Then she gently pushed Yuzu onto the bed and kissed her languidly. Her kiss was passionate. One kiss of Mei and Yuzu's whole universe get upside down.

 _She looks excited tonight_ , thought the blonde and her thought was instantly confirmed.

"I want you." Mei whispered in her ear, her words flowing from her mouth like syrup.

She made her heart beat so hard, it was a power that belonged to her, she was certainly a goddess to be able to make her feel so much with so few words. Her words managed to make her turn her head and forget everything else. Slowly Mei slipped her tongue into the blonde's mouth as she began to feel the heat take possession of her entire body.

In the light of the moon, Yuzu could see how Mei seemed to want her, it's almost as if her desire was confined to the room, ready to explode.

Mei nailed Yuzu on the bed and hung her wrists over her head with her hands, her body completely above the blonde who was having more and more trouble thinking. Her delicate and sweet perfume floated to her nose, intoxicating her with desire.

How could she keep clear ideas while Mei made her feel so hot? She completely lost reason under her kisses.

 _Mei is wild tonight._

Yuzu also liked her like that, plus she was very horny with the brunette now.

Mei continued to hold her wrists as she bit the blonde's neck, first slowly then louder and louder and it made her moan deeply. She began to gently lick the wound she had made in her neck as she finally released her wrists to take care of undressing her. She took off her top and her bra with an insolent softness she had dragged them on the floor.

"We were stop at the best time yesterday, I wish we could resume."

Yuzu shivered slightly with Mei's hands on her skin and it hardened her nipples. Mei didn't wait, the blonde tensed suddenly when she grabbed her nipple between her teeth then spinning her tongue on the piece of hardened flesh.

Yeah, Mei was really excited tonight.

Gently she unbuttoned the blonde's pants and removed it without saying anything, she had dragged it from her legs so delicately, savoring every touch between her skin and Yuzu's. Now she was putting her burning and inquisitive eyes on Yuzu's almost naked body. The blonde straightened up, she wanted to undress her too, but Mei nailed her briskly on the bed again, leaning heavily on her body.

"Do not touch me."

Mei's authoritative assertion had sent a heat dump into Yuzu's low belly, who had only stammered something as "okay."

It excited Yuzu a lot, Mei's behavior, feeling her dominating like that was just totally exciting. She could see half of the brunette's face thanks to the light through the window, and she could read the expression of hardness and authority on her face.

Indeed, her eyes shone with an almost twisted glow and that made her so hot. She had the impression that the inquisitive look of Mei undressed her to the soul. She could feel it inside her and Mei would soon feel it too.

Yuzu tensed suddenly when Mei's hand grazed her private parts over her underwear. She moaned in surprise, louder than she would have thought. Then, Mei bit her neck quickly as she slid her hand under the wet panties.

"You'll have to control your voice, Yuzu," she said, her eyes now in hers. There was a bright gleam in her eyes, such a sadistic look... And a slight smile appeared on her lips.

 _She looked so pervert now._

Mei smiles even more when her fingers suddenly, without even warning, penetrated in Yuzu's burning and soaked core. Of course the blonde hadn't expected that and she couldn't hold her cry of surprise and pleasure, quickly she put both hands on her mouth to contain her next moans. She couldn't think of anything, her brain was completely short-circuited, feeling Mei in her was divine.

She felt like she was feeling her everywhere and at the same time she felt that all the sensations of her body were concentrated in this only place. She also could clearly feel Mei's fingers coming in and out of her and it sent violent lightning pleasure all over her belly.

Yuzu blushed so hard under Mei's inquisitive gaze that she was just staring into her eyes, still with the same perverse smile.

"Do you like that Yuzu?"

Mei was so cruel to ask her to answer, as she clearly saw that the blonde was totally unable to express herself except by moans of pleasure. As expected, Yuzu just moaned erotically but this answer didn't seem to fit Mei who penetrated her even harder.

"Answer me Yuzu."

The blonde threw her head back and arched her back in an instant without being able to answer. Mei accelerated a little more.

"Answer me!"

Yuzu had to gather all the forces she had left to answer, it had required so much concentration, it was so hard.

"Ye…Yes..." she had let go in a loud moan. Catching the sheets with her hands, she bites her bottom lip to keep from screaming.

Seeing all the effect she had on the blonde was making Mei smile even more. She liked it, to see Yuzu under her control.

In this room half-lighted by the moonlight, there seemed to be nothing but their two bodies. Two beings who were only guided by lust and pleasure. Nothing else then seemed to exist in the blonde's eyes, she was completely subject to the pleasure she received from the hands of this person, the very one who makes her heart beat so hard. She felt that she was about to come, her blood seemed to boil in her temples. She was so eager for Mei's lips on hers. It was like a heartbreaking emptiness.

Mei must have felt that she would soon reach her climax, with her still free hand she grabbed Yuzu's wrists again and hung them over her head, pressing them firmly against the mattress.

She looked at the blonde who completely belonged to her at that moment, she gave herself completely to her care, without any resistance of any kind. Submissive like that, she was so beautiful.

Her body tightened more and more as she comes, and she couldn't hold her voice anymore so Mei dropped her wrists and clasped her hand to the blonde's mouth to cover her loudly screams.

Their eyes hung in each other while she was coming. Mei swore to see the blonde's pupils dilated even more despite of the darkness of the room.

Yuzu had the impression that it would never stop and she could say with certainty that she had never felt so much pleasure in her life. She remained haggard a moment, her mouth slightly open and the thoughts untied. She ended up turning her head to Mei who seemed really satisfied next to her, Yuzu looking at her as if she were a goddess.

"Nobody... has never given me so much pleasure."

Mei smiled once more, but it was not a perverse smile now, it was full of pride. And she kissed the blonde with passion. The two girls continued to have sex for several hours without seeing the time pass. Yuzu had wanted to make Mei feel the pleasure she had given her. Then finally it's the exhaustion that got them.

Yuzu had finally come to the conclusion that it was time for her to go back home, so she got up slowly and began to get dressed, but Mei's hand held her arm back.

"Don't leave Yuzu." She was looking at her with a supplicating look. "If you leave after that I'll have the impression, to be just a... Just a..."

Yuzu didn't let her finish.

"Okay Mei, I'll stay for the night." She kissed her forehead gently. "I would leave early in the morning before we noticed my presence," she smiled softly.

When her alarm clock rang it was really early in the morning, she had to leave before the sun was fully raised to avoid getting caught. She had only slept for a few hours but it was ok, she could go back to sleep when she arrived at her place.

So she slowly put on her clothes, she didn't want to wake up Mei too much. The brunette's eyes were just slightly open.

"See you tonight, Mei." Yuzu said softly, slipping out by the window.

After that night Yuzu was completely exhausted, so she hasn't had trouble getting back to sleep.

It wasn't the ring of her phone that has sounded several times that had woken her, but the noise in the hallway.

"Yuzu?" It was her mother's voice.

Gently the blonde opened her eyes. She grabbed her phone and noticed four missed calls from Matsuri. It was already 6pm, she had slept like a mass.

"I'm here."

Hardly she got up from her bed and went to greet her parents.

"It was nice, your stay?"

"It was so great! Oh you look awful, you hardly wake up?" Said her mother surprised.

"Yes, I... I watched TV all night." Lied Yuzu, she couldn't decently tell the truth to her parents "yeah, actually I spent the night fucking around with Mei and it completely exhausted me".

Her cell phone rang again as she greeted her step-father.

"Hello?"

"Damn it Yuzuchan, do you never answer to your phone?"

"Aww Sorry Matsu, I was sleeping."

"Don't you sleep at night or what?!"

Yuzu smiled. "Not this night. I followed your advice, let say."

"Geeeez, Yuzu had wild sex with Mei last night!" She heard Matsuri say to Harumin. "Listen Yuzuchan, I'm with Harumin and we will soon have dinner at Wazabi, I think you like this place so you better bring your pretty blondie ass quickly!"

"I would like to Matsuri, but my parents just came back, I think I'm gonna stay with them."

"Too bad for you, catch you later then!"

Yuzu helped her mother prepare dinner, her parents had gone shopping before coming back home, and thankfully because there was really nothing left in the fridge.

"You didn't find the day too long, being alone here?" Her mother asked.

"No, it was fine." Yuzu didn't want to drag on the subject, it made her feel a bit uncomfortable. "How was your stay?"

"It was great!" Said her step-father, "we visited temples, tasted local delicacies and we enjoyed natural hot springs!"

"Huuuhhhh it must have been great!"

Yuzu thinks she would love to go to a place like that with Mei. It would be so good to be able to go together for several days, just Mei and her, enjoying the presence of the other and nothing else would matters. Unfortunately, she couldn't go on dreaming about that for long before her mother came up with a much more sensitive topic.

"Have you heard from your sister?"

Yuzu had almost suffocated with her tempura at her mother's question. Shō handed her a glass of water and gave her a pat on the back.

It's true that Mei was supposed to be her sister. Yuzu had practically forgotten it, chasing it away from her mind, yet it added to the long list of things that made this love impossible. Her sister? How could she consider her as her sister? Yet, she had tried at the time. But she had never managed to feel for her a brotherly love, how could she, especially after all that had happened between them. Yet a piece of paper linking her mother to Mei's father established the opposite. Decidedly marriages make Yuzu's life difficult.

"N... No." Yuzu said, coughing.

"I would have liked her to come home having dinner with her fiancé before the wedding, I'm afraid it's a little late for that now." Ume pouted, she seems a little disappointed. What could Yuzu have answered to that?!

"Maybe," she simply said.

"I've heard the greatest good of him," Shō said, "He is a very promising young man."

 _Really? Do I really have to endure that…_

"Have you met him already?"

"No, but he has an incredible career and my father seems to like him a lot."

Hearing her parents quietly discussing about Mei's fiancé made Yuzu nauseous and she was clearly no longer hungry.

"Speaking of that Yuzu, do you want to come with me tomorrow? I'll go get some outfits for the wedding."

There was too much for the blonde, she had slowly pushed her plate away.

"I don't need clothes for that"

"Are you joking, you don't have any suitable outfit for a wedding! Also, I think it would be nice for your sister to see you wearing a nice outfit for her big day."

 _Why me?_

"Tomorrow I am busy, I let you choose for me" Yuzu have had all the trouble in the world to smile back at her mother. How could she want to find an nice outfit for this wedding? How could she, while thinking about this wedding made her sick? The blonde didn't really know how she could do to undergo the ceremony. She pushed the idea away in her head. When she began to ask herself this question she always came to the same conclusion: she would never be able to attend this wedding and yet, she had to.

"I can't believe Mei is getting married at the end of the week".

Yuzu lowered her head, holding back tears, "me neither".

After dinner, Yuzu bitterly regretted not having accepted her friends' invitation to dine with them. Instead she had to undergo this conversation about Mei's wedding. As if she wasn't already suffering enough. But her parents couldn't know, of course how could they know what was going on in Yuzu's head?

The blonde had a hard time keeping her head up after that, but she had to stay strong though. Collapse now would be useless, plus she had to go meet Mei, she had to meet her and enjoy her presence. That's all that matters now, as she was forced to live in immediate future. Yuzu lived in a programmed happiness, the date announced for the beginning of her suffering was announced and she would be in first row to witness the destruction of her life.

The blonde tried to push back those thoughts when she was about to go. She lied to her parents saying that she had to join her friends and also lied when she smiled at them while deep inside her, she couldn't help but blame them.

Outside the night was quiet but it did not reassure the blonde. It was like calm before the storm. Yuzu was getting used to sneaking around like that at Mei's grandfather's place, it was almost as if she had been doing this for years. It even seemed to her that she had become pretty good at it...

Meeting the brunette, all these thoughts brought by the wedding were chased, she wanted to be with her, it's really all that matters to her now.

In fact, that night, Mei and Yuzu spent a long time just talking each other about their high school year together, reminiscing about funny memories. Mei also tells Yuzu more about her past year away from her. She had been studying abroad for a whole year.

"At the same time that I continued my high school year, I took classes of management and economy on a faculty. That was in order to properly prepare myself for the management of the academy, administrative management and also budget management."

"You've taken faculty classes?!" Yuzu was surprised.

"Yes, but it was more like distance learning. My grandfather had to play his relationship so that I could access those courses. This year was really exhausting, having to live in another country, speak another language, discover a new culture… In addition to everything I had to do next, it was far more exhausting than the presidency of the student council."

Yuzu drank Mei's words, it was so rare to be able to listen the dark haired girl talking about herself, she wasn't really a talkative person. So she just wanted to listen to each and every word of her.

"In addition to that, there were all these people to meet, all this hands to shake, I had to make a good impression because my name is known in this environment." Mei sighed deeply. "I would have liked not to have this notoriety," she finally said, "not to have that name..."

Yuzu was really shocked and surprised by what Mei had just said, she didn't really know what to say to that."

"But that's what you want? That's what you are, right?"

Mei watched by the window looking glum. Her beautiful cerulean eyes stared away and seemed to carry so many feelings.

"Really? Is this really me?" The brunette paused, she was still looking by the window "Can't I just be me with you?"

A thunderclap echoed in Yuzu's chest, clutching her heart in her ribcage, as soon as the tears began to fill her eyes, she couldn't really answer that. Then quickly Mei's arms circled her. "I'm sorry Yuzu, I'm so sorry...".

How Yuzu couldn't feel hurt hearing these words from Mei's mouth. It was like giving bread to a thirsty person. Because Mei had chosen, she chose this situation, she chose to get married and let Yuzu's heart break into thousands of pointed, sharp little pieces.

"It's ok, I'm sorry, I really am emotional right now." Yuzu wiped her tears from the back of her hand and smiled softly at the brunette.

"I think it's pretty normal considering the situation." Mei looked at Yuzu with sadness. "I wish things could be different."

With what Mei said, it was difficult for the blonde not to continue crying but she wanted to stay strong. After all, she had accepted this situation by accepting Mei back in her life, she was aware of all this as soon as she let her heart open to her again.

"Me too Mei, really. Me too..." The raven haired girl had no idea how much it was true.

The girls finally fell asleep without continuing the conversation, it was too early to talk about it or too late, depending on the point of view.

This morning, Yuzu had left early, but this time Mei was awake.

"Yuzu, will you come back tonight?" She seemed worried.

Obviously Yuzu would. The blonde replied with a gentle smile, "Yes, I will."

The sun was starting to rise slowly over the city when Yuzu returned home, in fact she took a detour to get home, she wanted to walk a little.

 _Two days…_

She placed her hand on her heart, which was hurting her so badly. Walking through the Sumida-gawa, the blonde finally sat in the grass to watch the dawn. She had stayed there, crying while the sun was rising on Tokyo. It was so much pain, being able to be with the person you love, knowing that she will be ripped from you one moment to another, it was an absolute torture.

 _"Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs"_

In the end the blonde was angry about herself for suffering that much, since finally she already knew all that. She had been warned so many times that she was going to suffer but she had decided herself to stay close to Mei and to undergo all that. It was like a descent into hell for her.

Her tears were so hot in the cool of the morning. She was crying silently as she watched the beauty of nature awaken. It was wonderful, the orange-red color that emanated from the sky, the beauty of the reflection of the sun on the river and the birds that awoke, so beautiful.

 _So annoying._

Yuzu grabbed a stone and threw it into the water. How could the world continue to be so beautiful when deep down she was suffering so much. Finally, nothing stops, and neither her pain, nor her tears, nor her suffering, made the world less beautiful, it was so indifferent to her pain. All this, made her feel worse, even more alone.

Before returning home, she had waited until the redness of her tears faded from her face. Her parents were still sleeping so she could sneak up to her room discreetly. She was not really tired so she decided to read a little to clear her mind and think of something else. Yet like a boomerang, Mei's thoughts kept coming back to her. Firmly she closed the book she held in her hands, slamming it sharply.

Tonight she was going to take her out. She was going to do it and spend an unforgettable evening with her.

The blonde spent all the rest of the day, reading manga and watching videos on the Internet. She finally managed to get Mei out of her thoughts.

On Mei's side, it was absolutely the opposite. She was up early enough, and she hadn't at any time, managed to drive Yuzu out of her head.

She was in such deep pain that it was breathless. Today she had to find Udagawa at his place and recap for the wedding.

It had been several days since she had seen him, and she wasn't really waiting for the moment to see him again.

In fact, the closer the marriage date get, the harder it was to be in his presence. He had never hurt her or been mean to her, but she was finding it harder and harder to see him, knowing all the harm he was doing in spite of himself. So, the closer the fateful date get, the more she felt nausea seize her. So to face all that she acted as usual and dressed her imperturbable mask.

Meeting Udagawa, the man gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, this simple contact was enough, to make her shudder. How was she going to marry someone whose simple touch disgusted her? And yet it was totally despite him, and despite her as well, it was just visceral.

So she just remembers her duty as an heir to the Aihara family and thought about her grandfather's demands.

"Mei? Are you listening? Udagawa asked gently.

"My apologies, I'm a little... tired."

"It's nothing." He smiled at her gently.

He didn't know his future wife well enough to be able to decrypt her emotions behind her cold appearance, but he could saw that something was wrong. She never spoke to him really or always very formally and lately she seemed rather disturbed. During lunch she had barely touched her plate and now she looked completely different. He did not try to question her any further, she was for him a wall of mystery.

They had taken stock of the situation and everything seemed perfectly in order, each professional had been contacted for the event, the wedding hall was ready, the guests were all placed on the seating chart. Yuzu would be sitting on the table closest to the head table, she would be sitting with her mother and Mei's father as well as with Udagawa's close family.

Mei was in a deep sorrow when she saw the name of the blonde on the seating chart, she knew how unbearable it would be for Yuzu to see her sitting next to her husband. Mei was doing everything she could to chase that thought.

Her grandfather had wanted to organize a formal wedding, with many guests, a huge wedding hall with impressive decorations. Moreover, as the name Aihara had for some years an international resonance, he had decided that the marriage would follow Western customs and not those of the Shinto more traditional. Finally Mei didn't care about how the wedding would be organized, it was just a step to cross.

"So, are you axious?" Udagawa asked, smiling softly at the brunette.

"I am not..." She was trying to answer calmly but it was pretty hard in fact, lack of sleep, stress and anxiety make her struggling to keep control of her emotions. Her eyes began to glow sadly as she lied to Udagawa, saying she wasn't stressed at all.

In the early evening they both went back to Mei's grandfather, he was going to sleep here until the wedding, it was more practical like that for the organization but it didn't really please Mei. So in the evening they dined all three sets in silence. Mei's grandfather wasn't really the type to have long conversations.

After the meal the dark haired girl had asked to leave the table and said good night to everyone leaving Udagawa and her grandfather talking business. She was waiting impatiently for the blonde's arrival.

When Yuzu finally arrived at Mei's grandfather's house, she was surprised to see the light in the room overlooking the living room. She had been a bit more stressed than usual to climb over the iron gate.

Finally she had succeeded without being spotted. Mei's room was still lit, she stayed a few minutes watching the brunette through the window. She was reading but from where she was, Yuzu couldn't distinguish the title of the book. She was so beautiful, everything in her was elegant, her way of sitting, the way she turned the pages gently, the habit she had to gently slide her hair behind her ear.

 _She is so stunning._ Yuzu catch her breath looking such a beautiful thing.

Yuzu couldn't really understand what Mei could find in her, she was beautiful, smart, educated... What could she find in Yuzu?

Yuzu had come earlier tonight, to follow the plan she had thought for the evening. She was glad to notice that Mei was still dressed to go out. Then she gently knocked on the window and savored every crumb of expression of the brunette. When she turned towards the window, when her gaze landed in her direction, the imperceptible smile that was drawn on her lips when she saw her...

At the very moment the window opened, Yuzu threw herself on Mei and kissed her passionately, her gesture surprised Mei but she quickly responded to that kiss.

"Yuzu, we must be very quiet, my grandfather is there with... Udagawa."

This name gave Yuzu a violent shudder but she didn't shows anything and just kissed Mei again, pushing her onto her bed and climbing over her.

"Mei, tonight we're going out." Yuzu said, smiling.

"What?" Mei looked totally surprised.

"Yes. Tonight is you and me. I want us both to go out." She closed this sentence with another kiss.

It was a beautiful night, that's what Yuzu said to herself as she was so excited to "kidnap" Mei, she kept a silly smile on her face looking at the sky. She even was a little pleased to think she was sneaking out with Mei while her grandfather and her fiancé were there, right in front of their noses.

Mei looked a little worried to come out that way by the window.

"What if my grandfather finds us? It was so cute to see her worried like that.

"God, maybe he will deprive you of dessert!" The blonde laugh, "Don't worry Mei, he won't surprise us".

Mei went out by the window helped by Yuzu who was doing everything possible not to laugh. Finally Mei had not as much trouble as Yuzu would have thought to get off from the balcony, the blonde was even a little disappointed.

Yuzu climbed the iron gate first, she was too eager to see how Mei would deal with it. But when the brunette took a small key out of her pocket and opened the gate with it, Yuzu just remain speechless, terribly disappointed and ashamed.

"You look disappointed Yuzu?" Mei asked, looking incredibly haughty.

Yuzu frowned without answering.

"Well, where are we going?"

Yuzu stopped sulking and began to smile briskly. "I'll make you enjoy an evening with the commoners." Yuzu just loved so much to tease her about her status.

"I am not a princess." Mei was upset.

"No, I'm sorry… Ojou-sama."

This time Mei threw a devastating look at the blonde who was loudly laughing. She was so happy to be with Mei. Tonight she just wanted to forget everything, this evening belonged to them.

So first, she took Mei's hand while walking beside the Sumida-gawa, it was nice to walk like that in the middle of the city lights, with her. What Yuzu had planned next was even funnier. She really wanted to get Mei out of her usual world. She wanted to give her a time without having to worry about appearances, about her posture, her good manners...

So she brought her in a bar she knew well. In fact she intended to make her drink a little, she had never seen her drink and she wanted to have a little fun with her. After all they are young and this night belongs to them.

Once inside the bar Mei looked terribly uncomfortable and not really reassured to be in a place like this.

"Are you kidding me?! I must be dreaming!" Yuzu heard a familiar voice that made her turn back.

It was Harumin sitting with Matsuri who was completely red with laughter.

"Come here, join us girls!" said Harumin, trying as best she could to stay serious. Judging by the glasses on their table they were not at their first drink tonight.

Mei became livid, and said absolutely nothing.

"Holy guacamole! I don't believe to see Prez here!" Say Harumin who looked a little tispy.

Matsuri was completely laughing, she still hadn't said anything.

"Oh please this one is for me" said Harumin, getting up.

"So like that, you girls sneak out?" Finally said Matsuri, who managed to calm her laughter.

"I thought it would be a good idea to spend the evening together outside, isn't it Mei?"

"Yes." Just answered the brunette.

"C'moooon Mei, let go crazy!" Say Harumin coming back from the bar with rainbow shots.

"I don't think we are on legal age to consume alcohol." Mei gave Yuzu a disapproving look.

"Shuuush don't say that too loud, we are supposed to be major here." Replied Harumin discreetly.

"Don't worry about that Mei, it's an experience you may not have the opportunity to retry." Yuzu encouraged her to let go.

Mei had looked at the glasses apprehensively and supported by the looks of everyone she had taken her courage in both hands to lift the glass to her lips and swallow all its contents when Masturi told her "bottoms up!".

After all, it's true that she certainly wouldn't have the opportunity to do that again, and she really needed to clear her head right now. Yet even if she had wanted to keep face in front of the girls who watched all without saying anything, she hadn't managed not to cough because of the burn that alcohol had caused her.

Yuzu chuckled softly before swallowing her drink and the other two girls were kind enough not to make fun of Mei who was clearly not used to drinking. After the second shoot, Yuzu's ears began to heat and Mei's ears were already red.

Yuzu was happy that her friends behaved nicely with Mei, especially Matsuri who hadn't made any unpleasant remarks to Mei yet. In fact, Matsuri ended up accepting the situation and thought that it would be useless to attack Mei now, anyway she had already made her clearly understand her position and then the evening was too pleasant for a dispute to come spoil everything.

Finally Yuzu went to get a tour for everyone, she really wanted to give Mei a drink.

"Frankly, I didn't think I would ever see you drink!" Matsuri said.

"I'm the most surprised," said Mei, who was beginning to feel the effects of alcohol.

The cocktail that Yuzu had brought for everyone was not overly alcoholic, she didn't want Mei to be sick. Anyway it took no more to the brunette to feel tipsy.

It was the first time for her that she felt that, without being drunk she felt a sensation of lightness and a slight euphoria that made her want to smile. It was quite confusing for her because she usually had trouble not hiding her emotions.

"Are you ok Mei?" Yuzu asked, smiling softly

Smiling her back, Mei just said "Yes".

If Yuzu had felt a slight apprehension by sitting with Mei at this table, the atmosphere was rather pleasant. The girls chattered together about topics and others, including Mei in their conversation and never mentioning either her departure or the upcoming wedding.

"I can't believe that! Mei, you like teddy bears!" Harumin chuckled.

"Yes I like them." Mei blushed slightly while answering. "So what?" Alcohol seemed to make her a lot more rebellious.

"Well, who would have thought that there was a child's heart under this rigid shell!" Matsuri laughed.

"Teddy bears are very cute and I love them." Mei simply replied.

For a moment Yuzu had some rather indecent thoughts about Mei. It hadn't lasted long for Matsuri to notice.

"What is that perverse look you make us here Yuzuchan?"

"No, no I didn't look like that at all." Yuzu waved her hands, blushing.

"Yeah, don't think you can make me believe that! I know that slutty look of yours, when you're horny!"

Mei's eyes were throwing daggers at Matsuri.

"Oh pardon me, Mei-san, I did not want to offend you. Would not we be a little jealous?"

Yuzu didn't dare to say anything, watching a reaction from Mei.

"I am," she replied, surprising everyone. "But you'll learn, that when Yuzu is really excited, she punctuated the word "really", she does not have that "slutty look", but a much more submissive and supplicating look."

Mei had silenced everyone, Harumin's eyes and mouth were wide open and she seemed to be watching the scene as if she was watching a particularly animated soap opera on TV, all she missed was popcorn.

Yuzu had become crimson red in an instant, completely embarrassed by the statement of the dark haired girl. Matsuri frowned visibly upset by these words.

"Well? Really? Matsuri answered her defiantly. "On the contrary, I believe that Yuzu likes to always have control over the situation."

Mei gave a mocking laugh. "You could not be more wrong".

"Oh really?"

"With me, she can't keep control very long, I can break her confidence in less than a second."

Yuzu was just completely dumb and red.

"Huh, I see we've read up our manual."

"You know me Matsuri, I am a studious girl."

Yuzu couldn't believe she was being objectified while she was just there.

"God, it's about me that you're talking, calm down please." Yuzu was still red.

"Which one of us is right?" They both asked at the same time.

Harumin opened her eyes even wider, picking up in her bundle of imaginary popcorn.

Yuzu felt really embarrassed having to answer that, she almost stammered an answer.

"I ... I don't think I want to answer that."

Simultaneously the two girls looked at her harshly. And strangely, Mei's accusing look had a terribly sexy side.

"Mei… is right". She said that blushing and turning her head away from her.

Mei just crossed her arms looking at Matsuri with superiority and the pink haired girl leaned to her chair muttering something inaudible.

 _I would remember never let these two, drink again when they are in the same space_. Yuzu thought.

The rest of the evening was rather calm and the conversation had deviated to something else, Yuzu was grateful for that.

The girls were talking about the academy, explaining to Mei the changes in the last few months. Talking about it might have seemed strange to Yuzu, but the alcohol had sufficiently inhibited girls' emotions to be a problem.

"I'm sure Himeko is doing an excellent job at the presidency." Mei said.

"And I think, you're disappointed to no longer be the student council president Mei-san, you can't have your say on my behavior." Matsuri was cooing, visibly delighted to be able to tease the brunette like that.

"I'm the next chairman of Aihara Academy, I can do whatever I want with your case." Mei had responded in a totally neutral tone but her behavior was full of condescension.

In fact Yuzu liked to see her like that, she had a little fun to see the two girls bickering nicely, it decanted a little the usual tension between her.

After that, the blonde was quietly sipping her cocktail, then she almost choked it when she felt a foreign touch slip on her thigh. She turned her head to Mei, who continued to chat with the girls as if nothing had happened while her hand touched the bare skin of Yuzu's leg.

"Don't you think Yuzu?" Mei's question seemed to come out of nowhere and Yuzu absolutely hadn't heard anything of this conversation.

The three faces were turned towards her, waiting for an answer. The blonde was really struggling to remain impassive while Mei's fingers slipped gently under her skirt. She felt her nails gently claw her skin which made her shudder.

"Yuzu?" Mei asked again. She had that look, that look full of mischief, and she smiled almost imperceptibly.

"Yes totally" just answered Yuzu, totally unaware of what it was about. The other girls then continued their conversation.

"I also believe it in fact," Harumin confirmed, "it has always been like that anyway, why should anything change, it does not make any sense."

Mei replied as if nothing had happened while her fingers slid ever higher under the skirt of the blonde. Soon her fingers hit her underwear and the blonde tensed suddenly, bumping on the table making the glass clink and attracting the faces of her friends towards her again.

"Yuzuchi, are you okay?" Harumin asked.

"Yeah, yes, I just had a shiver because of the air flow."

After continuing to tease her a bit, Mei finally removed her hand gently, sliding her nails on Yuzu's skin.

All the rest of the evening, Yuzu had remained silent, still disturbed by Mei's gesture. They had stayed a little longer then Yuzu had decided it was time to go.

The return trip was rather quiet, Mei had taken Yuzu's hand which wasn't really usual, usually Yuzu was the one who did that, it had really pleased Yuzu and she didn't dare to point it out so as not to ruin everything.

"I liked the evening," Mei timidly said. "This is not the kind of party I would like to have often, but from time to time it's true that it's fun." Yuzu was really happy to hear that, she succeed on making Mei enjoys this evening and it was everything she wanted.

Arriving in front of the house, the blonde was grateful that Mei had the key of the gate. It had been a deliverance when they finally entered the room. The two girls instantly dropped on the bed.

"I'm so glad you had fun Mei."

"Thank you, Yuzu." She was smiling softly.

"Alcohol makes you rather talkative you know?" Yuzu was teasing her.

"Is that a problem?" She had said that with a defiant voice

"N..no."

Mei's gaze quickly calmed the blonde. "That was true, what you said in front of Matsuri?"

Yuzu blushed again, thinking back to the conversation she had been in the center of, despite herself.

Mei was close to her and slid her hands along her hips watching her with burning desire. Everytime these azure eyes looked at her like that, Yuzu feel shiver up to her spine.

"Are you trying to make me lose my mind?"

"Maybe..."

She looked at her, then kiss her on the lips. This kiss was hot, they both wanted it so hard. Yuzu began to caress Mei's soft creamy skin. Touching the delicate white skin she felt Mei shudder under her fingers.

Without saying anything, the two girls undressed each other, hugging their two naked bodies together. Their caresses were full of desire and their kiss so much passionate. Their two naked bodies seemed to want to merge while they were both caressing each other, each sighing to the care of the other.

"Yuzu, look what you make me become, how can you make me so eager?" Mei's voice was tense, ready to break.

Yuzu pushing back her shoulder went above her. Still kissing, her hips were stuck to Mei's pelvis, which was slowly rubbing against Yuzu. The blonde read in her eyes all her desire as she felt her begin to moan softly.

Embracing her breasts, caressing her belly, licking her navel, Yuzu didn't want to leave an inch of her free from her caresses. She wanted every part of her body to be touched by her.

The dark haired girl moaned louder and louder under the kisses of Yuzu who now landed on her thighs, approaching her burning core. She wanted to own her completely, she wanted her lips to rest on her and all her body begs for her tongue. So, Yuzu gently kissed the burning and wet flesh and Mei's reaction was immediate. Mei hips were shaking under the pleasure offered by the blonde.

"Yuzu..."

Heard her moan her name like that, was terribly exciting. Mei could feel the heat increasing throughout her body. She couldn't hold back her gasps of pleasure as Yuzu touched her exactly where she needed it.

For Yuzu it was something painfully exciting to see Mei totally lose control under the pleasure she gave to her. She could feel how excited she was. She liked to play with Mei, speed up and decelerate to the rhythm of her moans, kiss softly and then lick exactly where Mei wanted it. The brunette was tense at every lick of Yuzu on her skin, she gently pushed her nails into the shoulders of the blonde, scratching in places. Mei had lost all sense of time, She couldn't think about anything else than the pleasure given to her by Yuzu.

More and more her moans grew under her pleasure. They became longer, they were less restrained. At this moment, she didn't seem worried about being heard by her grandfather or her fiancé.

"Yuzu... please, don't stop."

Mei grip on Yuzu's hair while her body arched under the pleasure offered by Yuzu, her body completely shaken by tremors seemed to beg for a release.

Reaching her climax, Mei threw her head back and groaned heavily as her body was shake by a violent orgasm.

Yuzu smiled, pleased to have taken Mei so far. Mei's hands fall from Yuzu's hair and her body crushed on the bed. She seemed totally shocked.

That night as well, they hadn't slept much, taking advantage of each other's care they had spent hours giving each other pleasure. Yuzu really liked a lot doing this with Mei, she felt a connection she had never felt before with anyone else. She really had the impression of being just one with her and could let herself fall completely into her hands.

Finally they fall asleep, but it really wasn't the big idea. Indeed, Yuzu who completely forgot to start her alarm clock, had a much less pleasant wake up. In fact, Yuzu could have expected anything but that.

"Mei? The man voice carried a lot of questioning and surprise.

Yuzu had opened her eyes in an instant, Mei was sitting in the bed, she was holding the sheet over her still naked chest.

"What does it mean Mei?" The voice was now full of concern.

When Yuzu had her eyes wide open and the fog of her mind began to dissipate, she could discern the presence in the room.

Seeing him, made her blood boiled in her veins, carried in a moment by a sudden rage, she sat up in the bed, ready to jump on the intruder. But Mei's hand grabbed hers to stop her and it froze Yuzu on spot.

"My sister wanted to sleep with me this night, that's it."

Indeed they slept together…

Yuzu had her head down, how could she look at him in his face, being in the same room as him was so painful. He was her enemy, he was the one who stole her love from her.

Udagawa didn't know what to say, shocked by what he saw. He wondered if it was normal for two sisters to sleep together almost naked and tried to persuade himself that it had to be, chasing away all the contrary thoughts from his mind.

"Can you tell me, what you are doing in my room without having been invited?"

Mei's tone was really rough, Udagawa seemed sad to hear her talking to him like this, it was the first time Mei talked to him that way.

The man stammered an answer, "I called you but as you didn't answer I wanted to wake you, I thought, maybe, you missed your alarm clock".

Mei sighed, she was terribly angry and was doing everything possible to keep calm. Getting upset would only make the situation even more suspicious to Udagawa.

"Good morning, Yuzu," he finally dared to say to the blonde who still didn't face him.

"Good morning," this simple word had just torn her lips. Having to look up at him and pretend to smile was even more difficult. "I wanted to see Mei, and sleep with her as before, please don't tell to grandpa, he wouldn't be happy to hear that I disturb Mei before your big day" She smiled again and spoke in a totally natural tone.

Udagawa noticed that Mei's engagement ring was on the bedside table. Does she pull it off every night to go to bed?

"Of course," he replied. "You want to spend time with your sister, I understand." Did he really understand or was he trying to convince himself? "After the wedding you should come home for dinner with us" He smiled gently at the blonde who answered his smile.

"I'd love to," she simply said.

It was a real feat for her to talk to him quietly while deep inside she wanted to scream.

"Can you leave us now?" Mei asked, the tone of her voice still cold like ice.

"Yes, sure," Udagawa stepped out of the room slowly closing the door behind him. He was completely disturbed by what he had just seen and wondered what does that really mean. He was trying to chase away those strange thoughts by persuading himself that it was totally normal. After all, they are two sisters.

Yuzu who had made a superhuman effort to talk with Udagawa as if it was normal was now so shocked that no sound could come out of her mouth. Mei turned to her, grabbing her face in her hands, she looked totally worried as she stared at Yuzu.

"Yuzu?" she anxiously said, "Yuzu" she repeated, but the blonde couldn't speak, she was too devastated.

Mei's eyes began to fill with tears, "Yuzu please answer me." She didn't stop looking inside Yuzu's eyes. "I'm so sorry that you had to suffer that". "I'm so sorry," she kept repeating as thin streams of tears ran down her beautiful eyes. Finally Yuzu managed to answer, "It's not your fault, Mei", but her voice seemed so hurt, so torn apart, that it broke Mei's heart.

Mei clung to her shoulders and burying her head in Yuzu's neck she started crying. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" she kept repeating in a loop, her voice choked with sobs.

Realizing Mei's sadness the blonde caught her back in her arms and started crying with her. They hugged each other so strong, crying together all the pain they had on their hearts.

"I beg you, don't leave me alone tonight". Mei said in a sob.

 _Tomorrow_ , Yuzu thought.

 _Tomorrow._

* * *

We are approaching the denouement, what will happen? I'm scared!

Feel free to give me your opinion on this chapter : )

One more thing, the two quotations present in the text are from Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet.

Thanks for reading!


	10. Love and cherish till death us do part

Hi there, this is chapter 10 and this is the last chapter of this story.

I hope you'll like it.

 **I do not own Citrus or any of its characters, all credits goes to Saburo Uta.**

* * *

How did Yuzu do to endure all this day of anguish and pain? She didn't know it herself. Tonight would be the last night she could spend with her, it would be the last time before Mei officially became someone else's wife.

 _Someone else's wife..._

Udagawa is going to marry her, he is going to take her for his wife, he is going to have the lawful right to love her... Something she would never have. Yuzu put her hand on her heart, the organ hurt terribly.

She hadn't managed to do anything all day long, not even a single occupation that could distract her from those painful, unbearable thoughts.

However, when she was about to go see her, she seems strangely in no hurry to go see Mei. Why? Why did she feel like she was going there backward?

Perhaps it was the knowledge that it would be the last time and all the things she was trying to put aside in her mind were now clearly in front of her eyes.

Yet, arrived at the window, Yuzu stayed for a moment to observe. Everything went so fast in just a few weeks. Even though it had only been a month since Mei reappeared in her life, Yuzu felt like it had been years since.

All these things they shared, all the kisses, all those unsaid things and those deep feelings… Yuzu thought about it by watching the beautiful dark haired girl inside the room. Mei wasn't reading, she actually was doing absolutely nothing, sitting on the edge of her bed, she just looked pensive.

 _Does she feel the same as me?_

As if she was attracted by the blonde's presence, Mei turned her head to the window and saw Yuzu watching her. Gently she got up from her bed to open "How long have you been here?"

"I just arrived," it pinched Mei's heart to hear her speak with such a sad voice. Yuzu fled her eyes, she cautiously entered the room, looking away.

"Yuzu..."

The brunette grabbed Yuzu's face with her hands, forcing contact between their eyes. Seeing so much sadness in Yuzu's eyes made her shudder a lot. She kissed her, seeking warmth in this kiss and yet she couldn't find any, the lips of the blonde remaining motionless.

But Mei continued, putting her lips on Yuzu's, again and again, forcing contact between them. She was so sweet, her kisses almost fruity. Being assaulted by Mei's lips, smelling her as their faces were so close, feeling her breath on her skin... All that was so powerful for Yuzu that she let herself be completely sank by the kisses that assailed her and soon her body responded to theses kisses that the brunette desired so much to offer her.

Feeling Mei's lips on hers was certainly one of the most beautiful things in the world for Yuzu, so why did she feel so sad?

 _Soon it will be his lips who will kiss her._

So that was it, that was this that made Yuzu so deeply sad. Thin streams of warm tears ran slowly from the green eyes, they rolled gently on her cheeks following the furrow of her face. Mei gently wiped the tears and lay down the blonde on the bed, right next to her.

Yuzu was trying as hard as she could to stay strong, not to crack, and yet it was so hard.

"Mei I..." she was trying to speak calmly but every word that came out of her mouth seemed to lacerate her throat. "I do not know how I'll be able to do, I—"

"I know Yuzu." Mei was gently stroking Yuzu's hair, her face expressing so much sadness as well.

"I can't imagine being able to attend to your wedding... Mei, what are we going to become?"

Yuzu's questions were like daggers for Mei. What could she answer to that? What could she say that could be appropriate? In fact, nothing she could say could change anything. Yet she knew from the start by continuing this relationship with Yuzu, this would eventually happen. She had known that being so selfish in wanting to enjoy her presence would end up this way. She was facing a painful feeling. She was terribly distressed to know that Yuzu was unhappy because she had been so selfish, wanting to enjoy her presence and affection, knowing that she would eventually leave her… And at the same time, she was in such deep pain to think she was going to lose her. Still, she couldn't help but blame herself, and hearing Yuzu talk to her like that was really hurting her, reinforcing her own guilt.

"Mei..." Yuzu's hand grazed the brunette's white neck, Mei straightened up in the bed.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, burying her head in her hands "I don't know Yuzu, I really don't know".

That's right, what could they become? In fact, what were they anyway? They had never even put a word on it, silencing their feelings, taking great care not to cross this line. So why did this barrier seem to collapse now? They, who aren't friends, who aren't really sisters and not really lovers.

"I'm so sorry Yuzu."

Mei's guilt was shattering, it was hard to see. Yuzu saw how much Mei seemed to be suffering at that moment, she could see her body shaking as she stood in that sluggish, sore posture. She approached Mei, hugging her back with her arms, and almost whispered, "Mei, I don't regret anything".

"I was so selfish, agreeing to share with you this tenderness"

"So do I, Mei" She gently stroked a strand of dark hair.

"I knew you'd end up suffering and you—"

"I knew it too." Yuzu pulled the dark-haired girl to her so she could look at her face. "I always knew what was going to happen and I agreed to continue anyway."

"I'm so scared, Yuzu" Mei was shaking in her arms like a fragile, beautiful little thing.

Yuzu automatically squeezed her tightly as Mei's hands held the blonde's clothes firmly. She also was terribly scared, she was even terrified, but how could she tell her when she seemed so scared.

"Yuzu, I want to stop time"

Gently Yuzu put her lips on Mei's. Both girls were lying together on the bed, tight in the arms of the other, covering themselves with kisses and caresses.

Then, they made love together, tenderly, lovingly, perfectly illustrating what the term can represent, _'to make love'_. Uniting their body and uniting their heart in an act of shared love. Yuzu touched Mei's skin knowing that she would never touch it again. She would never feel again, the emptiness of her heart filling with her presence. Instead, her absence would leave in her heart an even deeper abyss, such a heartbreaking emptiness, Yuzu thought nothing could ever fill it again. So, she enjoyed her skin, she enjoyed the softness and sensuality of her moans, the pleasure of caressing each curve of her body, the privilege to observe her beautiful silhouette. Making sure to engrave forever the memory of their intertwined bodies.

How long had they stayed here, looking at each other without saying anything? As if the words were just dead in their throats. But they both knew it was late, they knew it would be necessary to say goodnight.

Mei straightened up in the bed, holding the sheet over her bare chest, she grabbed her blouse and began to thread it. Yuzu did the same, getting dressed in silence.

 _Is this the last time I can look at her like this?_

Gently Yuzu stroked Mei's face.

"I have to go home Mei"

 _Why, is it up to me to leave?_

Mei's hand closed on Yuzu's hand. "Me neither, I don't regret anything Yuzu"

 _Your words squeeze my heart so hard, maybe if you continue like that, it will fuse and come into you._

Mei continued to speak almost whispering, "I'm really happy to have had my first time with you".

It should have pleased Yuzu to hear that, but in fact it was a very poor compensation.

"Please Mei, don't forget me"

Why should goodbyes always have to be so unbearable? As if a farewell was not sad enough.

The two girls pull their foreheads together, their hands still united. "I would never Yuzu"

"Don't ever forget what we've been through, please Mei. I know we'll have to act as if nothing never happened, I know we'll have to pretend to be just sisters, but please, promise me that you'll always keep this memory of us in you, that you will never forget it" The blonde's green eyes stared intently at the brunette's cerulean ones, begged without blinking.

"I promise you."

Painfully, Yuzu got up from the bed, breaking the contact with the brunette, she walked to the window and she slowly opened it, then one last time she looked at the room, then just stares at Mei.

She looked her and it was really painful. So for the last time she held her against her, filling her lungs with her delicate scent. Yuzu caught Mei's gaze. Her blood pouring violently all over her body, she told herself that she had to, it was time, it was time to tell Mei before it was too late. Because all of this would be over soon. She felt like her heart was pounding in her ears, it was so noisy.

"Mei... I love y—"

Not letting her finish, her words were cut off by a desperate kiss from Mei, a shaking kiss, wet with tears.

"Don't." She just said in a broken voice.

The blue eyes were firmly immersed in the green ones, completely reddened by tears.

 _They are so beautiful your eyes, pure emerald, I have never seen such beautiful green eyes before yours and I would certainly never see others like yours._

 _When you look at me like that, your eyes hanging on me, I feel to be like a whole world._

 _Why did you let me play with your heart like that, why did you agree to put it in my hands knowing that I was going to break it? You knew it, right?_

 _So why? Why do you agree to withdraw like that from my life? You don't even struggle, you just seem resigned..._

 _So what do I expect from you? Do I want you to struggle? Do I want you to insult me? That you hate me?_

 _It would be easier for me to let you out of my life knowing that you hate me, but knowing that you just accept things like that, it just makes me love the person you're even stronger._

 _I accepted your love as something wonderful that we offer without expecting anything in return. I think that basically, I blame you a little. Your generosity makes me feel even shabbier, like a piece of trash._

Ending their kiss, Yuzu leaving Mei's gaze gently crossed the window without words. They were all dead inside her.

 _I must not look back, I must not look back, I must not..._

She didn't look back, and she did well because the vision she would have seen, would surely finished breaking her heart. In fact, Mei completely collapsed on the ground in tears.

Walking on that night without stars, Yuzu couldn't tell if the drops she felt on her cheeks were her tears or the rain? It's amazing how sometimes weather seems to be associated with people's emotions, as if it reflected our pain.

Did Yuzu truly realize it? Had she already made it clear that it was the last time she had enjoy Mei's presence? Raising her head to the sky, she could feel the raindrops falling from her eyes. She would have liked to stay there, in the darkness, in the rain, looking at that dark sky.

What can be worse than witnessing the union between the person we love and someone else? Of course there was worse than that in this world, but for Yuzu, in this moment and in her world, she could not possibly imagine worse than that. She already felt that a piece of her had stayed behind, with Mei and it had created an unbearable void in her chest.

Yuzu possibly could have decided to continue this relationship with Mei, despite everything, becoming her secret lover then, but how could she bear to touch her knowing that she wasn't the only one, to love her knowing that she didn't have the lawful right to do so, and mostly knowing what would happen, what was coming, it was just a matter of time.

Mei was going to get married and she was going to have to give birth to an heir. Yes, because that's what was coming. So how could Yuzu handle this? Seeing Mei pregnant with someone else baby was totally unthinkable.

Yuzu ends up going home, soaked from head to toe. She lay down on her bed without even taking off her soaked clothes, she could get sick now, it don't even mattered to her. And if it could save her from having to endure tomorrow, it would be for the better. She was lying in her bed, the bed she had shared with the very first person she loved, the only one in fact. Her first love. And now she was going to watch her go away.

The next morning, Yuzu awake late. Looking at herself in the bathroom's mirror, she sprayed her face with a little water. She looked terrible, with big dark bags under her eyes.

In fact, it had taken hours for her to fall asleep, gnawed by a pile of parasitic thoughts. The result was clearly visible on her weary face, it was both fatigue and all the tears she shed during the night that gave her that hideous look. She would have to redouble her efforts to look presentable.

 _To look presentable? What for?_

Looking straight into her reflection's eyes, Yuzu was motivated not to crack, she had to be strong in front of her parents and especially not let anything appear. She absolutely had to do everything in her power to hide her pain. It would be difficult, she knows it, and she could clearly hear how happy her mother was, she could hear her whistling and singing happily in the kitchen. Having to endure happiness of others when we are at the lowest is something unbearable.

 _How can she be so happy when I feel so bad?_

After finally taking off her clothes with which she slept, washed and dried, Yuzu finally began to wear makeup.

She didn't want a make-up that was too flashy, she chose colors that highlighted her eyes, some eyeliner, some blush on her cheeks and finally a little gloss on her lips, it did the trick. A sober makeup but that totally highlighted her face and that brought out the green of her eyes and gave them a deep glow.

That's all the magic of makeup, it could camouflage many havoc, like hours of tears. Yuzu envied girls like Mei whose skin was so perfect that they did not need these tricks, but at the same time make-up made her feel reassured, she felt a little like it was a sort of mask, which protected her in some way from the outside world. Finally, Yuzu decided to go greet her mother.

"Hello honey, did you sleep well?" her mother's voice was perky.

"Yeah" She mumbled.

Her mother was finishing preparing the meal, "We eat early today, we must all join us for 12:30pm, the ceremony will start at 2, I'm so excited!" She uttered words at a crazy speed, such a chatterbox.

"Where is Shō?"

"He's gone before us to help with preparations, we're going to join him soon at Aihara mansion, you'll be able to help your sister get ready before going to the City Hall."

Yuzu's mother wasn't shocked to hear her daughter call her step-father by his first name, since Mei had gone, she had never called him "dad" again. It did not bother him either. For Yuzu it had become impossible to keep calling him that way, he was her step-father and nothing could change that, but it was way beyond her strength to call him father.

The blonde had the impression that her heart rate had doubled in speed and her blood pressure had to be too high because she was really very stressed, although this term was far from adequate to describe the nervous state in which she was.

"Eat quickly, you have to put on your dress, I'll dress myself too and then we'll join the others."

In fact, Yuzu's stomach was completely tied, but she still made the effort to take a few bites of the curry rice her mother prepared. She carried each spoon to her mouth gently, forcing herself to swallow, it was hard to get down into her throat.

It's as if she had a huge lump stuck through her throat, like something she could not swallow. A few bites were enough to cut her appetite "it was very good mama, thank you but I'm not very hungry"

"I understand, it's not yet noon after all, let's get ready, I've put down the dress I bought for you on your bed, it's beautiful, I'm sure you'll love it!"

Entering her room, Yuzu noticed the red cardboard box lying on her bed, gently she opened. Her mother was right, the clothes were beautiful and Yuzu was literally breathless.

It was a long blush-pink dress, a color she was particularly fond of since it was according with her skin tone.

Without waiting, Yuzu took off her clothes and put on the dress. When she stood in front of the mirror to observe the result, she immediately felt the tears rise to her eyes. Wiping gently with her finger not to remove makeup, Yuzu then carefully observed her reflection.

The top of the dress consisted of a strapless lace. It left a large part of her back completely uncovered, revealing her shoulders and the top of her perfectly thin back. The back of her top was tied with little pink strings crossing each other. Yuzu would need her mother's help to close it properly.

At the waist of the dress was sewn a small belt of a slightly lighter pink, she attached to the back and closed thus, it put in value the blonde's waist size.

The dress continued to the top of her knee. The lower part of the garment was made of a supple and soft material and stretched in a pretty circle shape.

It was simply beautiful. She was gorgeous in this garment but at the same time she really feels bad to feel so. She didn't want to be seen, she just wanted to go through this difficult time and go home where she could suffer in peace, alone.

Before calling her mother to help her close the dress, Yuzu combed her hair, she made a nice bun held by an elegant chopstick, she had left two small blond strands on each side of her face.

Her mother stifled a cry when she saw her daughter so well dressed, "Oh my god Yuzu, you are beautiful. This dress suits you so well! I even wonder if you won't risk to eclipse your sister a little because of how resplendent you are!".

 _I doubt it ... She isn't born the one who can eclipse Mei._

"Thank you mama, you are very nice in this outfit too" Yuzu's mother's dress was much more discreet but just as elegant. She helped her close her dress and then it was time to go. During the whole trip in the car with her mother, Yuzu didn't say a word.

"Are you stressed too baby girl?"

"I think so".

Her heart was beating so fast, the closer she got to the house and the more she felt her mouth become dry. Leaving the car and arriving at the gate she had spent the week climbing, she felt more and more vulnerable.

The manor's front door was open. Her mother took her by the hand, entering with her inside. It was as if she was coming here for the first time, she felt tiny, like a child on her first day at school.

There was a lot of people in the big room and Yuzu didn't recognize half the faces she saw. She had carefully watched the entire round of the room, she could see Mei's grandfather talking with his stepfather, a serious look on his face. But there was no Udagawa or Mei around.

Her mother was walking with her to the two men and Yuzu greeted her stepfather and Mei's grandfather with the maximum of courtesy that she could offer even if it cost her much. That's right, it was incredibly hard for her to be here, to greet that man who was the source of Mei's torments, because even though the brunette had chosen by herself to follow her destiny, Yuzu was firmly convinced that if she did it, it was because of him first and foremost.

"Where is Mei?" Yuzu heard her mother say.

"She finishes getting ready in her room" her stepfather's answer made the blonde shudder.

"You hear that Yuzu, so go help your sister finish getting ready"

"But—"

"Come on Yuzu, we'll leave after"

Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that she found it unbelievable that no one heard it. She had seen Mei the day before, but now it was as if she hadn't seen her for years, so much the gulf that separated them now was wide and deep.

She was approaching the stairs when she saw her, and both girls stopped at the same time. Time seemed to have been suspended too. Mei had started down a few steps when she saw Yuzu, the expression on her face was so deep, a mixture of pain and discomfort.

 _Oh my God!_

She was so beautiful, gorgeous, sublime... It looked like this dress was made for her, which was certainly the case.

Ironically, it wasn't the first time for Yuzu to saw Mei in a wedding dress. The first time, they had both dressed for a small photo shoot organized to promote a wedding dress designer. Back then, Yuzu had taken it all as a game, and even if she had found Mei's dress beautiful, she could clearly say that this one she's wearing now was a thousand times better.

It was a white couture dress that beautifully revealed Mei's creamy arms. The top of the dress consisted of a lace-strapless bustier with a sweetheart-shaped neckline that fully emphasized Mei's white chest. The rest of the dress was made up of many pieces of lace sewn on the short train of the dress.

It was really a stunning vision, the dress was just made for her.

Eventually, time finally seemed to return to normal and Mei immediately turned around to lock herself in her room.

She had red cheeks and shortness of breath. Standing in front of her closed door, she turned the latch to lock it. The clatter of the metal resonated in her ear, closing in a snap.

What was she thinking? Looking herself up on her wedding day? Yet it was stronger than she could bare, she knew she was going to see Yuzu today, but see her like this, so beautiful in this pink-blush dress, marvelously revealing her perfect neck and shoulders, this skin she had caressed and kissed so carefully, it was really difficult. And before she could even think about it, she was standing here, lock up in her own room like a child afraid to go out.

"Mei?" Hearing this voice made her shudder. "Mei come on, open me" Yuzu spoke calmly with a soft voice. Her heart beating to her temples.

When the metallic sound of the latch resounded and the door opened in a slight squeak, both Yuzu and Mei stayed here for a moment, watching each other, eyes and mouth wide open.

Finally, breaking her muteness, Yuzu entered the room making the remaining silent brunette go back, then she gently closed the door behind her.

"Mei", she had the impression that it was the only word she was currently able to produce and yet this single word seemed to carry so many meanings. She was just completely impressed by Mei's beauty, and she thought that anyone on this earth, seeing her in this beautiful wedding dress, would have wanted to take her for wife here and now.

"You are ... dazzling", Finally she had managed to produce other words, but they were almost out of themselves, slipping away from her thoughts and shivering her whole body.

Mei was remaining silent, but there was so much worry in her eyes. Slowly the blonde held out her hand to her, carefully, as if it was the first time she touched her, she touched the porcelain skin of her arm with her fingertips, making the two girls shudder simultaneously and leaving a small moan of surprise come out from Mei's mouth, who was still watching Yuzu without blinking and saying anything.

The truth is that she found Yuzu dazzling too, so beautiful in her dress that she gasped. All this mess of emotions was very difficult to manage for the bride to be. At the same time, she was completely ravaged inside by Yuzu's breathtaking beauty and she was also completely torn at the thought that in just a few hours she would be someone else's wife.

Yuzu had wanted to speak but even before the words could properly form in her thoughts, the door opened on her mother.

"There you are you two, oh my god, how beautiful you are!"

Without having a say, the two step-sisters were immediately assaulted by their mother taking pictures of them. "I must immortalize that, look at you, how pretty you are".

Mei hadn't said anything yet, and it was starting to worry Yuzu, her face was completely livid.

"Let's go girls, Mei, your future husband is waiting for you" she winked at Mei who still hadn't said anything. But as she left the room, her arm clung firmly to Yuzu's, in a desperate attempt to get something to hang on to. Going down the long stone staircase with Mei's arm in her, Yuzu could not help but feel her heart racing and her cheeks blushing. It had only got worse when all the eyes below were turned to them, cheering the young woman in her white wedding dress.

Mei hadn't let her go all the way out of the house, accompanied by everyone else. But when Yuzu tried to get away to get into her mother's car, Mei pulled her arm closer to her and finally decided to talk quietly.

"Stay with me please."

What could she have answered to that? A request made with so much supplication. It was as if Yuzu's presence kept Mei's head out of the water.

What a cruel irony of fate, right? Mei needing Yuzu's presence to being able to married someone else.

So Yuzu warning her mother that she would be doing the road with Mei and she was finding the brunette who was waiting alone, looking totally petrified.

Yuzu wondered if the other people around were aware of Mei's apparent distress, but she came to the conclusion that she was certainly the only one to notice it, thinking she was the only person in the world to know her as well and to know so well tear the micro expressions of the raven haired girl, hidden behind her cold appearance.

Joining the brunette, Yuzu's jaw almost crashed to the ground when she saw the car arriving to escort them to the ceremony room.

It was a white Bentley Continental Flying Spur, decorated for the event with flower bouquets hanging on door handles and a lace flow hanging from the front of the bumper.

It was the most luxurious car in which the blonde was going to ride and she felt a bit uncomfortable with it. The driver stopped right in front of her, came down from his seat and opened the door to Mei, urging her to get in, and then he opened the other door so that Yuzu could enter the vehicle as well.

"If you would please Ma'am"

Inside the car it was completely immaculate, and the seats were very comfortable. All this luxury runoff put Yuzu a little uncomfortable.

When the blonde turned her head to Mei, the brunette had her gaze lost in the void and she seemed completely frightened. Yuzu was terribly scared too, her heart had never slowed down at any time, she had dreaded so hard that day and it was arrived and now she was there with Mei, in a car far too classy for her, to go to the wedding of the one she loves more than anything on this world.

She wanted to get out of this car, run away as far as possible, change city, change country, change world! She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted... Anything except that. But seeing Mei's distress, seeing how terrified she was by the event, she couldn't help but try to swallow some of the terror she felt.

Gently Yuzu put her hand on Mei's. They stayed like that without saying anything until the car stopped in front of City Hall. The building has a western architecture which doesn't really match with the rest. It was a beautiful building, Mei's grandfather must had important relationships to organize a wedding here.

Out of his car, he was just waiting for their arrival "Mei, the ceremony will begin soon" he said with a cold tone.

"Can Mei go to the restroom, to refresh herself a bit?", Yuzu who was speaking without having been invited, got a cold look from the old man as a response.

"All the guests aren't arrived yet so you can go Mei, but don't be too long."

Then Yuzu, catching the hand of the silent girl, dragged her inside the place. It was even more chic inside than outside, the domed ceiling was gigantic, it was topped with sculptures and frescoes carved directly into the stone. The walls were also made with stone, dotted with stone columns inherited from antiquity and surmounted by carved flowers sculptures too. As to the floor, it was covered with travertine rosette. Finally, in front of her was a gigantic marble staircase whit a red carpet on it, which Mei was soon going to climb.

Yuzu noticing a small sign indicating the restroom, go there. She practically pushed Mei inside before letting the door close behind her. "Mei, are you okay?"

The dark haired girl hadn't responded immediately, but her action had spoken for her, grabbing the blonde's arms, she buried her head in her neck.

"Yuzu, I'm so scared!"

Her heart seems so tight inside her chest, Yuzu tightened her arms around Mei, "Me too Mei ...".

What could she do? What could she say? It was so painful to see her like that, feverish in her arms. She would have liked to be a little more selfish and put her pain before hers, but she simply could not.

Yet what Mei was going to tell her was going to completely turn the switch in her head.

"Yuzu... I'm so scared. I don't want this wedding"

The blonde's eyes opened so wide, and the control she managed to have on the situation had collapsed. She said it, she finally put words on this terror she expressed. So now that Yuzu know that Mei didn't want this wedding, how could she keep quiet?

"So don't Mei! Don't get married and just run away with me!" Yuzu had caught Mei by the shoulders, looking right through her eyes.

Mei, who raised her head, looked at the green eyes with so much pain. Her deep blue eyes were bright with tears.

"Yuzu, it's impossible, you know that. I'm going to get married Yuzu, there's no turning back."

Mei's words had finished breaking her heart, and the pain was more vivid than ever, yet approaching her face to hers, feeling her breath mingling with Mei's, she had laid a wet kiss on those lips.

"I love you Mei".

The words had escaped from her mouth carrying with them a piece of her soul. Yuzu could give her a piece of her soul because without her, she wouldn't need it anyway.

Mei let out a small moan as she heard those words, it was an audible expression of the pain that this had made her feel. Grabbing the blonde's face with one hand, resting her forehead against hers and plunging her deep blue eyes into Yuzu's wet green ones, Mei gathered all her strength to express in a few words the violence of all the emotions that she felt. Her eyes firmly inked in Yuzu's, she had spoken.

"I love you".

These words... These words, how three little words could have triggered such a torrent of emotion in her. Yuzu closed her eyes instantly, under the lightning bolt that had hit her heart, gasping, tears escaped her unrestrained eyes, a visible sign of her broken heart. Eyes closed, she cried, feeling Mei's breath still close to her lips. She could hear those words echoing in her ears like an endless speech. Repeating Mei's words to herself again and again, burning in her, she would have liked to engrave them in her flesh and that their print remains forever as fiery as molten lava.

It was the first time Mei told her that she loved her, the first time she heard it, and yet she had so often dreamed of her love. So why did it hurt so much?

Indeed, it was painful, but she wanted to hear it again, she wanted to hear those words again and again and be slashed by these words, she would have accepted Mei as her executioner for eternity if she had had the opportunity.

She opened her eyes cautiously and she plunged them into Mei's, so deep, so cold and yet so warm. Their lips united once again, powerfully, carrying all the love that united them.

"Say it again," Yuzu whispered, catching her breath between a kiss. Mei caught her lips back, they were so soft, so delicate. She kissed gently and intensely in the same time.

"I love you, Yuzu" she said softly against Yuzu's lips, but it was enough to send in Yuzu's body a mighty swarm of wild, devastating butterflies.

They would have liked to stay there for hours, forgetting everything else, forgetting the wedding… But a footstep behind the door had made them out of their fantasies.

"Are you there?" It was Ume's voice through the door.

Their lips parted instantly and Yuzu jumped back when her mother opened the restroom door. "It's time Mei, it's your turn to play!" The cheerfulness and upright smile of Ume broke instantly when she saw the expression of sadness on her daughters' faces.

Mei had difficulty hiding her emotions but she did it anyway, as for Yuzu, she couldn't hide her eyes, completely red, swollen with tears and the terrified look on her face. Yet the woman had the decency not to ask questions to her daughters, or it was more for herself than she hadn't, so she wouldn't have to face the evidence that was clearly in front of her.

The two girls looked at each other one last time before leaving the room and Ume looked at her biological daughter with concern, as everything became clearer in her mind and all those months trying to figure out what was wrong with her daughter, had just explained clearly to her.

She instinctively took Yuzu's hand when Mei joined her father's arm to get ready to walk with him to the altar.

"Come on darling, we have to sit down in our seats" pulling Yuzu with her to the benches in front of the altar. Yuzu, climbing the steps, still looking behind her the dark-haired girl who never looked away until she could not see her at all.

Walking in the middle of the two rows of benches, the blonde barely noticed all the looks that were turned at her. She then joined her seats still dragged by her mother, sitting in front of the altar where Udagawa was already standing.

Yuzu looked at the man standing in front of her, he was wearing an impeccable bright-blue suit and he looked really nervous whit a small smile on the corner of his shaking lips.

 _For him it must be a beautiful day_ , Yuzu sadly thought, she could not even blame him.

Yuzu felt so miserable right now, she couldn't even pretend anything, she who wanted to keep face in front of her parents. She looked more like someone at a funeral than someone at a wedding. Was it for this, that everyone seemed to be staring at her? She almost wanted to make a face to them, but what's the point? Ume meanwhile, did not stop to look at her daughter, her face expressed so much concern to see her like that. But in fact, she wasn't so shocked, maybe she had always known deep inside.

Maybe she had always knew why Yuzu had been so miserable after than Mei left, why Mei wanted to hide her wedding to Yuzu back at the time, why Yuzu stop eating for days, why her behavior become so aggressive and why seeing Mei again have seemed to worry her that much. Deep down, she had always known, so why had she closed her eyes to this evidence? It had been so selfish on her part not to help her daughter at a time when she needed her the most. Just ignoring her love for Mei, as if it was something that was going to disappear the same way it had happened. But seeing in her daughter's eyes that immeasurable pain, this unbearable suffering, she now felt a very bad mother.

 _Yuzu's suffering wasn't about to stop_ , she thought, looking at her pale-skinned daughter.

That's right, Yuzu knew she was going to suffer more than ever, it was certain. At least before, she used to hate Mei, the anger and rage that her leaving had left in her was such a strong and vivid emotion that it had somehow protected Yuzu.

But now what's left to her? Now that she knew her love for Mei was shared, that Mei loved her in return but she still going to married someone else. What was left to Yuzu, except her tears to cry and her heart to remind her of this suffering at every moment.

The sound of the heavy beating of her heart drummed in her ears, then when she saw Mei, getting escorted by her father, arriving and parading in front of the guests to the altar, her heart tightened painfully in her chest and she felt a violent vertigo assail her.

Yuzu felt terribly bad, gasped, sweaty hands and uncontrolled tremors all over her body. She tried as best she could to control her breathing so she wouldn't sink into an anxiety attack. She absolutely must not have a panic attack now.

She was completely shake and her heart froze with horror when her step-father's arm dropped Mei's and the brunette joined Udagawa on the altar. Climbing the three little steps that separated her from him, Mei had slowly turned her head to Yuzu, crossing her eyes with hers.

The blonde felt like the whole room was spinning around her and she felt like she was feeling a lot of tingling in her fingertips, watching her hands, she realized that her vision was totally dotted with small yellow dots and she was having more and more difficulty fixing her eyes to a specific point.

"Yuzu, honey, are you alright?"

Her mother's voice seemed to come from far away, it seemed almost illusive in Yuzu's ears who now had the impression of being completely out of her body.

She didn't answer her mother, hearing something else. "We are gathered today to celebrate the union of two people...", slowly raising her head to the altar, she caught half of the words of the bald and potbellied man who recited the protocol words.

Her eyes were fixed on Udagawa's hands, which had taken Mei's in his, Yuzu clenched her fists, pushing her nails deeply into her palms, hard, until the pain completely radiated her palms. She was also biting the inside of her cheek and her eyes were veiled with tears as she watched in front of her, her worst nightmare taking place.

Turning back to Udagawa, the bald man continued the ceremony. "Will you, Udagawa, have Mei, to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep you only unto her, so long as you both shall live?"

When Udagawa started talking, staring at Mei whit a sweet smile, Yuzu began to feel nausea rising in her at the same time as her silent tears.

"I Udagawa, take you, Mei, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life, until death do us part."

Each one of the man's words resonated violently in Yuzu's ears, poisoning her soul a little more. She began to feel the taste of blood in her mouth by biting the inside of her lip.

"Mei," said the officiant, smiling at the woman in a wedding dress. Udagawa was also smiling as he looked at the woman in front of him.

Yuzu wanted to get up, she wanted to run to the altar, catch Mei and run away with her. But when she heard the dark haired girl starting to speak, the blonde could not keep her tears from flowing down her cheeks.

"I Mei, take you… Udagawa, to be my…" Mei's voice trembled violently, she wiped her forehead with one hand before continuing to speak softly, her face was completely pale.

"I promise to be true to you…" She stopped again, leaning on the edge of the altar. She was obviously struggling to breathe judging by her loud gasps. She put a hand on her forehead, the other still leaning on the edge of the altar.

Seeing her like that made Yuzu sit up straight in her seat, she had a very bad feeling.

"Mei are you okay?" Udagawa asked, he seemed visibly worried.

"I..." That's all the brunette had time to say before violently collapsing on the floor, unconscious.

"Mei!" Yuzu spoke very loudly, getting up from her bench and running to the altar. She violently pushed Udagawa away, leaning over her, and grabbed the brunette in her arms, "Mei! Mei!" she repeated, tears streaming from her terrified eyes to the unconscious face. Yuzu repulsed every person who tried to approach her, defying them with a hateful look, as if she were some sort of wild animal protecting her cub.

The blond panicked even stronger when she tried to feel Mei's breath but couldn't. Then, touching her neck in search of her pulse, she couldn't feel anything, her heart was beating too hard to her fingertips. So Yuzu placed her ear directly on Mei's chest looking for a beat. The time had been awfully long before a pulse was heard, so when she finally heard Mei's regular heartbeat, she felt terribly relieved.

She held the dark haired girl firmly in her arms all the way until the ambulance arrived, but her grandfather and Udagawa had been the only ones who could get in the ambulance with her. Yuzu's mother had prevented her from getting into the vehicle, promising that she would take her to the hospital, and at her mother's insistence, Yuzu agreed to cooperate.

During the entire drive to the hospital where the ambulance was driving Mei, Yuzu had only bitten her nails, she was terribly worried about Mei and couldn't calm down or think of anything else.

"Are you in love with her?"

The blonde turned to her mother instantly when she heard her ask this question, resonating in the closed space of the vehicle. Without really thinking about possible consequences, _after all, what could be worse?_ Yuzu answered.

"I am"

Ume remained silent for a moment, before continuing with a completely calm and neutral voice.

"And Mei, does she love you?"

"She does". Yuzu turned her head to the window answering that. Strangely, she felt a little relieved that her mother was aware of her love for Mei, it made her heart be a little less heavy. After that Ume had said nothing else.

Arriving at the hospital, they were told to wait in the waiting room near the room where Mei had been admitted. Udagawa and her grandfather were both with her. Yuzu had wanted to see her but her mother held her by the arm, looking at her with a gentle look. Anyway the blonde was too exhausted and upset to resist now. So, she dropped into the uncomfortable seat of the waiting room, the back of the chair squeaked and the feet were unstable. She could have changed places but she felt a little close to this wobbly chair, assaulted by a weight too heavy for her to bear.

During long minutes that seemed like hours, Yuzu hadn't said anything, she stared into the void, still nibbling her nails and only hearing the repetitive and regular tick tock of the clock that sat above her. After waiting for a few more minutes, eyes tired of watching the void and all of these emotions, Yuzu had finally fallen asleep on the wobbly chair.

Opening her eyes about forty minutes later, she noticed that Mei's grandfather was in the same room as her, he was standing a little further away, a phone in his ear and seemed taken in an unpleasant conversation judging by the pronounced frown of his eyebrows. Since when did he come out of Mei's room?

Turning her head all around her, Yuzu saw her stepfather and her mother but she still saw no sign of Udagawa, he still had to be with her. She shuddered at this thought, clutching her fists, she was fuming, she should be the one at her side, not him. But she had to get used to that, since he was going to become her husband.

 _At least the wedding is delayed,_ she thought as a poor compensation. In fact, it just delayed the inevitable.

As the blonde became more and more impatient, her blood boiling in her veins and her jaw muscles aching from squeezing her teeth, she heard slamming the door of the room where Mei was. Udagawa finally came out of the room. The man seems completely uspset and had a devastated look on his face, it was the exact opposite of the smiling face he had earlier in the day. Yuzu had instantly straightened up on her chair, ready to get up. Udagawa's eyes landed on her for a brief moment, she would have sworn to see in his eyes a bit of rivalry and anger. The man quickly cut the contact, heading for Mei's grandfather who had just hung up.

Yuzu didn't wait any longer and without asking, she got up and headed to Mei's room. Catching the door handle, she expired long before opening it. Once inside the room, the blonde stopped for a moment hurt by the heartbreaking vision that stood in front of her. Seeing Mei like this, lying in a hospital bed, her bloodless face and an infusion in her arm was a real heartbreaker.

"Yuzu", the voice of the woman who called her was weak but it was enough to make Yuzu approach her, she sit on the chair that was right next to the bed in which Mei was lying and she grabbed her hand with her both trembling hands.

"Mei, are you ok?" Seeing her like this broke her heart, it was unbearable, Mei looked so weak right now. Indeed, Mei really had a livid face, it looked like she had lost a lot of weight because of the purple circles under her eyes and the hollow that had formed on her cheeks.

"I'm fine, just a little tired"

The blonde's hands tightened hers, louder while her eyes fogged with tears.

"Apparently I had a vasovagal syncope, which would be due to a drop in my blood pressure, a decrease in my heart rate as well as an... important emotional distress."

Yuzu said nothing, she just looked at Mei with a lot of concern.

"Don't worry Yuzu, it's something very common and totally harmless, I just need a little rest" The brunette smiled softly at Yuzu. It wasn't the first time Mei collapsed in front of her. But this time she had lost consciousness for a very long time and it had been particularly scary to see her staying unconscious like that.

"I was so scared"

Gently, Mei brought Yuzu's hand to her lips and laid a soft kiss on it. "I'm sorry, to cause you so much trouble"

The two girls remained silent for a moment looking at each other without saying anything, their eyes were full of emotions. Yuzu had been so worried about her that her body was shaking under the weight of all the emotions she had been experiencing since that very morning.

Mei opened her mouth first, staring back at Yuzu's, she took a quick breath before speaking, as if to give herself courage.

"Yuzu, I spoke with Udagawa".

'Bom bom', Yuzu's heart began to race in an instant, a wave of anguish had invaded instantly, and tightening her hold on the hand of Mei, the blonde hadn't responded. 'bom bom' was all she seemed to hear, the pounding of her heart drumming violently in her chest. She dreaded so much what she was about to say.

"I told him for us" Yuzu's heart made another jump in her chest, she couldn't really realize what Mei had just told her and she didn't know how to react to this, her brain seemed to have a lot of trouble to deal with this information. But she really hadn't finished yet being surprised.

Picking up her breath again, Mei seemed to be making a superhuman effort to speak, yet she seemed pretty calm when she continued.

"We decided to cancel the wedding."

 _We decided to cancel the wedding..._

 _We decided to cancel the wedding!_

Yuzu repeated several times in her mind this sentence that Mei had just said in order to be sure that she understood its meaning. Without thinking, she jumped up from her chair, her mouth and eyes wide open as she continued to digest the information.

"My grandfather is not aware yet but I decided to tell him that I didn't want an arranged marriage."

Yuzu dealing with a lot of emotion didn't know what to say in response, so instead of saying anything, she let her body collapse on Mei's, and tightening her grip around her, she was crying silently.

"Udagawa didn't really take the news well, and I think it will be even more difficult with my grandfather". Mei spoke with a weak, tired voice as her hands gently stroked Yuzu's hair.

Gently, the blonde decided to raise her eyes to her, "I couldn't manage to do it, I couldn't Yuzu". Her eyes were wet with tears.

"Mei…"

"I'm so sorry for doing all this to you..."

"Mei" Yuzu had straightened up, now gently caressing Mei's face.

"I'm so afraid of the consequences..."

"I am here with you Mei and I promise you that I will be there to face all that with you"

"Will you be there for me when I tell the truth to my grandfather, and after that?"

"Yes, I would be there Mei" Yuzu gently wiped a tear from the cerulean eyes.

"Always?"

"Always Mei, I swear."

"I wouldn't be able to face alone what will happen next."

Yuzu gently approached her forehead to Mei's, "I'll be with you." She spoke in a soft voice, her heart now much lighter as she finally realized all that had just happened.

The wedding would not take place, Mei would not get marry. Neither with Udagawa, nor with any other fiancé chosen for her. Little tears flowed from her eyes but it was tears of joy. All these months of suffering, all this anxiety about losing Mei forever, all that would not happen. Mei had chosen her and it seemed to oxygenate her bruised heart again.

Still, it would take time for her to realize completely that it was all behind her. But it would also take time for things to calm down. It was still necessary for Mei to announce her decision to her grandfather, that the two girls announce their relationship to their parents, facing all the consequences that might follow, perhaps even questioning their parents' marriage. But selfishly Yuzu didn't care about that, she would never let anything stood between her and Mei. And for all the obstacles that would stand in front of them, she would fight for the one she loves, even if things get complicated, even if she suffers, nothing can hurt her more than the idea of losing Mei.

Losing her eyes in the face of the dark haired girl she had spoken, her heart a little less heavy.

"I love you Mei" For the first time, Yuzu could say those words with a light heart.

Softly Mei's lips landed on hers and tenderly she replied, "I love you so much."

Once again they kissed each other.

.

..

…

..

.

 _Till death do us part_

* * *

THE END (always wanted to said that)

That's it for this story 'So this is what love really is', it ends well for our girls who will assume their love in broad daylight (after granddaddy had a fatal heart attack and making their parent divorce hatefully lol)

Honesty, writing this story, I thought for a long time that the end would be sad. I even had already written several chapters in the idea that at the end Mei would marry Udagawa and Yuzu would have been the one fainting at the wedding and nothing could have change anything.

But I changed my mind when writing, I think it is for the best, because we already suffer a lot (Why Saburouta Sensei, Why?)

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed this story. Thanks a lot for your reviews, follows and favorites and most of all for reading it! ;)

Also, feel free to leave me reviews on what you thought about this story.


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